Friday, December 20, 2013
Support Your Local Impeacher
Hurley the Historian reported yesterday was the fifteenth anniversary of the day the House of Representatives voted to impeach Pants-Dropper-in-Chief William Jefferson Clinton for the high crimes of committing perjury and obstruction of justice while in office.
Today, as a few more Congressmen are finally beginning to understand how all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters have allowed Obama’s lawless conduct to ruin America for the past five years, the ONLY WAY to do something about it throughout the next 1,127 days of the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term would be at long last to have the courage to use the dreaded “I-Word.”
As The Blower predicted yesterday, there probably won’t be any impeachment of Obama anytime soon, because John Boehner and his RINOs in the House along with Bitch McConnell’s Surrender Monkeys in the Senate are too busy caving in to Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS every chance they get.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s Real Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead, one of the managers at Slick Willie’s Impeachment Trial, who set out the legal requirements of perjury and accused the president of meeting all of them. [READ MORE HERE]
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting Impeachment for Lying Bastards in the Oval Office, is pleased to permit Ohio’s Distinguished First District Congressman to be today’s guest editor and choose three items plus a little Political Quiz for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
“THE TRUTH ABOUT PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE” by Greg Geico
The “Harley Owners Group”, the biggest motorcycle club in America, maybe even the world, hasn’t found any members that have Progressive Insurance since the word got out about Progressive’s communist affiliations. Their association with George Soros, alone, should bring chills up your back. Oh, you don’t know who George Soros is? He finances the Obama progressive affiliations.
Progressive Insurance….Who are they? You’ve seen and probably smiled at the clever Progressive Insurance TV commercials. Well, as Paul Harvey would say, “You’re about to learn the rest of the story.”
PROGRESSIVE AUTO INSURANCE: You know their TV commercials, the ones featuring the ditsy actress all dressed in white. What you might not know is that the Chairman of Progressive is Peter Lewis, one of the major funders of leftist causes in America.
Between 2001 and 2003, Lewis funneled $15 million to the ACLU, the group most responsible for destroying what’s left of America’s Judeo-Christian heritage.
Lewis also gave $12.5 million to MoveOn.org and America Coming Together, two key propaganda arms of the socialist left.
His funding for these groups was conditional on matching contributions from George Soros, the America-hating socialist who is the chief financier of the Obama political machine.
Lewis made a fortune as a result of capitalism, but now finances a progressive movement that threatens to destroy the American free enterprise system that is targeting television shows on Fox News. Peter Lewis is making a fortune off of conservative Americans (who buy his auto insurance) that he then applies to dismantle the very system that made him wealthy. He’s banking on no one finding out who he is, so STOP buying Progressive Insurance and pass this information on to all your friends. Chairman Lewis’ gift helps the ACLU promote their anti-Christmas agenda such as:
Removing nativity scenes from public property Banning songs such as Silent Night from schools Refusing to allow students to write about the Christian aspect of Christmas in school projects Renaming Christmas break Winter break Refusing to allow a city sponsored Christmas parade to be called a Christmas parade Not allowing a Christmas tree in a public school Renaming a Christmas tree displayed on public property a Holiday tree. In addition to their war on Christmas, the ACLU uses gifts like that from Chairman Lewis to:
Sue states to force them to legalize homosexual marriage Force libraries to remove porn filters from their computers Sue the Boy Scouts to force them to accept homosexuals as scout leaders Help legalize child pornography Legalize live sex acts in bars in Oregon Protect the North American Man Boy Love Association whose motto is “sex by eight or it is too late” Censor student led prayer at graduation Remove “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance Remove “In God We Trust” on our currency
Verify at: Snopes.com and Truth or Fiction.
All of a sudden I don’t care for their “funny commercials.”
“NEW FEDERAL GOVERNMENT GOLF RULES” by Obama’s Caddy
President Obama has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective in January 2014. (This is only a preview as the complete rule book (approximately 2,000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak.
Here are a few of the changes:
GOLFERS WITH HANDICAPS: below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%. between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees. above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term “gimme” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows: handicaps below 10, no entitlements. handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts. handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term ‘net score’ will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.
This is intended to “redistribute” the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only “net score” against every other player’s gross score. These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.
Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility.
- OFFICIAL NOTICE from the US Golf Association: The golf term “bad lie” is now being simply referred to as “an Obama.”
“GUNFIGHT RULES” by Bluegrass Rifle Association’s Billy Bob Carbine
In a gunfight, the most important rule is ….. HAVE A GUN!!!
Now here’s some shooting advice from various Concealed Carry Instructors: If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules. If not, you should get a gun and learn how to use it and learn the rules:
A: Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.
B: It’s always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
C: Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you. D: Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length
E: Never say “I’ve got a gun.” If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.
F: The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes; the response time of a .357 magnum is 1400 feet per second.
G: The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win – there is no such thing as a fair fight; cheat if necessary.
H: Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets … You may get killed with your own gun, but he’ll have to beat you to death with it, ‘cause it will be empty.
I: If you’re in a gun fight:
If you’re not shooting, you should be loading. If you’re not loading, you should be moving. If you’re not moving, you’re dead.
J: In a life and death situation, do something … it may be wrong, but do something!
K: If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense!
If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?
L: You can say ‘stop’ or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone’s head is pretty much a universal language.
M: Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill. In court, yours will be the only testimony.
N: You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.
If you believe in the Second Amendment, forward this to others who also believe.
“Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading” — Thomas Jefferson
AND A POLITICAL QUIZ by Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
So, you think you know where you stand, politically. Think again. The result from this short test may surprise you and give you some food for thought. You’ll be asked just 10 questions, and then it instantly tells you your score. It shows your position as a red dot on a “political map” so you’ll see exactly where you stand.
The most interesting thing about the Quiz is that it goes beyond traditional DemocRAT, Republican, and Independent talking points.
The Quiz has gotten a lot of praise. The Washington Post even said it has “gained respect as a valid measure of a person’s political leanings.” The Fraser Institute said it’s “a fast, fun, and accurate assessment of a person’s overall political views.” One university said it is the “most concise and accurate political quiz out there.”
Click here: World’s Smallest Political Quiz
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands, like the Stupid Streetcar Supporters who put together the Cranley Christmas Carol Part One and Part Two.
Some of The Blower’s Weasel Zippers Headlines So Far This Week
MORE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: Missouri State University Considers Banning Nerf Guns… University of Maryland Considers Mandating Student Health Insurance Cover Sex Change Operations… Connecticut School Bans Kids From Hanging Santa Or Christmas Tree Decorations…New Jersey Set To Pass Dem Bill Mandating State Issue New Birth Certificates To People Who Feel Like They Are The Opposite Gender… Black University Student Lynches Two White Men, Calls It Art…School Suspends 5-Year-Old For Making “Gun Gesture” With Hand While Playing “Army” On Playground…Militant Atheist Group Demands Military Remove Nativity Scenes From Gitmo…Mass: Lib Crank Sends Family Nasty Letter Demanding They Take Down Christmas Decorations, “We Do Not Wish To See Such A Flagrant Display” Of Your Christian Beliefs…Radical Leftist Southern Poverty Law Center Urges Army To Declare American Family Association An “Extremist” Group… Long Island School Removes Religious References From “Silent Night” . . . Shockingly, People Have A Problem With This…
- PATHETIC POLITICAL PUNDITS: Liberal Hypocrite Ed Schultz Flies Around On His Own Fleet of Corporate Jets Despite Repeatedly Criticizing Opponents For Owning Private Jets… Michael Irvin Hints RGIII Benched Because He’s Black…The View’s Baba Wawa: “Maybe Santa Was A Woman”…Lib Roland Martin Accuses Megyn Kelly of Racism: She “Reinforces” To Black Kids This Is A “White World And You Don’t Matter”…PMSNBC Race Baiter Touré: There Is Already A Benevolent Black Man Who Gives Gifts To Kids: Barack Obama…PMSNBC’s Toure Hints Megyn Kelly’s A White Supremacist For Saying Santa Claus Is White…CNN Guest: Jesus Being Depicted As White A Sign Of “White Supremacy”…Baba Wawa Fondly Recalls Holding Marxist Mass Murderer Fidel Castro’s Gun In Her Lap…PMSNBC Host Krystal Ball Calls For A “Mincome,” Every American Gets A Monthly Check From The Government Even If They Don’t Work…WaPo: GOP Governors Opposition To ObamaCare Racist Because It Disproportionally Hurts Non-Whites…Last Week: Tingles Compares Republicans To North Korean Madman Kim Jong-Un Executing His Uncle – Today: Tingles Outraged By Use of “Hyperbolic” Rhetoric To Describe ObamaCare… Baba Wawa Distraught: “We Thought [Obama] Was Going To Be The Next Messiah”…Sharpton: Republicans Committing Voter Fraud By Passing Racist Voter ID Laws…PMSNBC: Talking About “War On Christmas” Is Racist…Race Baiting Scumbag Al Sharpton To Interview Mooch…Piers Morgan Compares Rush Limbaugh To “The Devil Incarnate”…
- THIS WEEK’S LATEST POLLS: AP Poll: Nearly 4 In 5 Say ObamaCare Will Worsen Insurance Coverage…Another Key Obama Constituency Turns On Him, Approval Rating Among Millennials Tanks To 45%…Ted Cruz Third “Most Influential” World Leader, Behind Pope Francis, Barack Obama…Americans Tired of The Nanny State, Want Government To Stop Banning Everything They Like…Opposition To ObamaCare Individual Mandate Hits All-Time High, 58%…Majority of Americans Blame Increasing Health Care Premiums On ObamaCare…Liberal Support For Obama At All-Time Low…Obama Finishes Fifth Year In Office With Lowest Approval Rating Since Nixon…Nearly Same Amount of Americans Believe Shape-Shifting Reptilians Secretly Control Our World As Those Who Think ObamaCare Will Decrease Costs…More Americans Trust Evil Republicans To Manage Economy Than Obama…Gallup Poll: Record High 72% Believe Big Government Is America’s Greatest Threat…New CBS/NYT Poll Finds Only 15% of Insured Americans Think ObamaCare Will Help Them…
See a more complete list of this week’s Weasel Zippers Headlines in Sunday’s E-dition.
Until then, Click on the logo below.
Stories We’re Working On
Obama’s getting ready for another 17-day over-taxed payer Hawaiian Vacation- Duck Dynasty Guy Prefers Vaginas to Anuses
- Cranley Hailes “Miracle on Plum Street”
- Foxy Roxy demands a recount
- Odd Todd Portune’s Gubernatorial Wet Dream Revealed
- Finney’s Plans to Sue Clermont County
- Kentucky Bar Waiting For “Crazy Eric’s” Ethics Complaints to Roll In
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most ordinary Americans would be observing Christmas: (A) Going to church: 2% (B) Complaining about crappy presents: 2% (C) Watching “A Christmas Story” on TV for 24 hours straight: 2% (D) Getting another day off with pay: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
More Conservative Political Posters
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
The True Meaning of Chri$tma$
This week, everybody who thinks the most important part of any Christmas present is the sales receipt, so you can return it and get what you really want, faxed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner from Price Hill is once again Ebeneezer Leach, who urges people to put all those garish flashing lights on their houses for Christmas because he owns all those shares of Duke Energy stock.
Ebeneezer wins a “Let’s Get Christ Out of Christmas” T-shirt, tips on how to tell if women you meet are naughty or nice, a pair of gigantic humping reindeer with moving lights for his rooftop, and that same rancid fruit cake he sent us three years ago. His winning limerick is:
The most fun this holiday season
Will be hugging your spouse and doin’ some squeezin’.
And don’t forget to say the blessing
When serving the turkey and the dressing,
Or good old St. Nick you’ll be displeasin’.
The most fun this holiday season
Once you find a good reason
To get into bed
While she gives you good head
Now that can really be pleasing.’
The most fun this holiday season
While the flu has us coughin’ and wheezin’
Is to stay warm and dry
Enjoying turkey and pie
Unlike bums under bridges whose asses are a freezin’
The most fun this holiday season
And I’m really not teasin’
With the new ban on smoke
You won’t have to choke
And you can go to a bar without wheezin’
The most fun this holiday season
Isn’t fruitcake and mistletoe teasin’
For when the weather is frightful
Staying home is delightful
That’s if your mistress is pleasin’
The most fun this holiday season
Will be to “occupy” Wall Street for no reason!
My friends and I love to bitch
And we just hate all the rich
Oh c’mon – you know I’m just teasin’!
And from the Anderson Laureate, who seems to be running short on the Milk of Human Kindness:
The most fun this holiday season
Will be staying inside where it ain’t freezin’
Then if I’m lucky
And my wife’s feeling plucky
I might get in a little squeezin’
But if she simply ain’t into the mood
Even though I’m laying there nude
Something else I’ll be tryin’
(Think of that guy we call O’Brien)
I’m sorry if that sounds too crude.
Or maybe just for the helluvit
I might try to remain celibate
Or I might decide to go
And act like a gigolo
And go out in the street and sell a bit.
I’m not really as weird as it seems
I just have these crazy man dreams
Can I help it if I’m male?
At least I’m not in jail
I am straight up, and ain’t got no schemes.
So anyway, let’s get back to the holiday
I mean, that’s what we’re discussing today
What’ll be fun for me
I’ll just have to wait and see
Who knows, it might be a roll in the hay?
And for our Folks in Kentucky we have:
The most fun this holiday season
Political favors just short of treason.
Even Ole Liquid Plummer
Would give Fletcher a hummer
For a political job, is the reason.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“This time my New Year’s Resolution”
WHISTLEBLOWER WISH LIST HOT LINE
e-mail your ridiculous requests today.
Some gluten-free items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally gluten-free subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
New Obamacare Ad Targets Gay Men
(Selected By Our Friends at Duck Dynasty)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
