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Wednesday, December 18, 2013
In Washington, They Re-gift Your Own Tax Money
IN WASHINGTON, our DC Newsbreaker says yesterday everybody was waiting to see if RINOs in the Senate had totally caved in to Obama and Disingenuous DemocRATS, just because just because they wanted to get out of town for the Christmas Holidays at the end of the week.
Tuesday, right on schedule, RINOs in the Senate helped pass our Crooks in Congress’ so-called budget deal that House Budget Committee chairman Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) made with Senate Budget Committee chairwoman Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) by cutting military pensions to pay for immediate spending increases. Twelve Senate RINOs joined all 55 Democrats and Independents.
It should be no surprise that both GOP House Speaker John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell are now both targets of the Senate Conservatives Fund. Not surprisingly, both Boehner and McConnell have dismissed the group for exploiting the Republican Party, with Boehner saying all the TEA Party and its allies are looking for, is financial gain, unlike Members of Congress, no doubt!
And please don’t waste your time asking how many members of that Dirty Dozen will be facing tough challenges from outraged TEA Party Candidates in 2014 Primaries. You can just imagine how many of them are NOT up for re-election next year. The fix was in from the beginning.
What is it The Blower says all the time? That means all those for Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama voters truly have a government they truly deserve, just like the rest of us.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on Monday’s date in 1773 at the Boston Tea Party, a group of Massachusetts colonists protesting the Tea Tax Act, disguised themselves as Mohawk Indians and boarded three British tea ships and dumped 342 chests of tea into the harbor. You’d think one of our local TEA Party or litigious so-called anti-tax organizations like COAST might’ve remembered a little thing like that, instead of hyping a meaningless event where a bunch of losers could pat themselves on the back and hand out phony-baloney “Liberty Awards” at their silly little cash-bar “Christmas Party” circle jerk Monday night.
Hurley also says just think, on today’s date in 1865, slavery was abolished, and now we have a semi-Schvartzeh president. Is America a great country or what?
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose George Carlin’s “This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be free.”
- IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio GOP Governor Kasich-Taylor must feel pretty good these days after reading that Canton Repository editorial (Bad choice, even worse apology in governor’s race). Let’s face it: Deadbeat DemocRAT Eric Kearney quit the campaign only when media across the state finally did their jobs and questioned Kearney’s fitness for any office. But what if the press hadn’t exposed it? He’s still an unfit State Senator and not even The Fishwrap is calling for him to resign.
FROM THE WHISTLEBLOWER ARCHIVES: Edition #30 of the Original Whistleblower, published 23 years ago on December 18, 1990 (back in the really low tech days when The Blower used to be printed and delivered all over town), that week’s “Really Big Story” featured then-Hamilton County Clerk of Courts “Jaywalking Joe Deters answering 8-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon’s question.- MORE BREAKING NEWS: Today in Cincinnati, everybody is waiting to see if Silly Streetcar Supporters can collect $80 million in pledges this week to keep their wet dream alive.
- AND CAN YOU BELIEVE, The Fishwrap has actually chosen The Blower to take part in a survey about their crappy paper. They claim our opinion really matters to them. They even want to thank us for our participation, by entering us for a chance to win a $75 Visa gift card after completing the survey. They said it was just a small thank you in appreciation of our time. And what do you think our chances of winning might be?
AND IN ANDERSON: Yesterday, Disgraced and Defeated Anderson Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien asked if we thought his good friend “In Russ We Trust” Jackson had anything special planned for Kevin’s last trustee meeting on Thursday? The Russler says it’s his understanding that the combined memberships of the Anderson Township Republican Club, the Anderson TEA Party, the Anderson Park Board, Anderson Kiwanis, Forest Hills Schools Foundation, the family of Kevin’s deceased victim, and that Wellborn lady in the car, will all sing a touching rendition of Bananarama’s well-known “Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye.” This will be followed by a special performance of “The Sound of Music’s” “So Long, Farewell” by the St. Rita School marching band and ended with Sheriff Neil’s famous bagpipers playing the Si Leis anthem, “Taps.” Duffy “The Kevin Slayer” Beischel will give a eulogy if he can ever find his way back to Anderson. Other than that, nothing special is planned.
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS BOB McEWEN: Our Revered Former Congressman is off to Israel this week, speaking at a conference in Jerusalem on the impact of Obama’s sellout to Iran. Here’s a quick synopsis: UN sanctions deny Iran the right to enrich uranium. Enforcement of UN sanctions rely upon the United States/NATO. That Obama-Kerry-Hillary agreement says we don’t mind if you stockpile enriched uranium……as long as you accept $6 billion from US over-taxed payers for doing it. This effectively voids the UN sanctions from the Bush era, and what does the USA get, probably another similarly well-deserved Peace Prize for our clueless president. Such a deal!!!!
MORE PARTY PLANNING: For those of you planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman at Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas Party at the Schmidt Run Estates at 771 Wards Corner Road, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, let’s all sing the eighth verse of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by that Dishonest DemocRAT Former Speaker of the House Nutty Nancy Pelosi, who remembers in 2008, “Thanks to ‘Mean Jean’ (whose winning percentage was the smallest in the nation), Hamilton County turned “Blue,” DemocRATS won the entire state of Ohio, and Obama became president of our multicultural United States. It goes something like this:
On the Eighth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me, Eight Dems a Booing, Seven Wits a Wagging, Six Crooked Cronies, Five Libelous Liars, Four Screeching Tires, Three Borgman Cartoons, Two Red Dresses, And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
It’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, isn’t it, Portman
‘TIS THE SEASON: The Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau located in East Jesus says if you’re still having trouble finding those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights, call them for directions at 1-937-544-5639.
SPEAKING OF GIFTS: What better way to get our dwindling number of Obsessive Obama Supporters like Tom and Rose to demonstrate their unwavering devotion than to get them to purchase one more Obama Christmas item this year, like this rhodium metal ornament made in China for only $40 with proceeds benefiting Obama’s 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.
THE WHISTLEBLOWER REPERTORY GROUP has a new member in its latest video showing the Whistleblower Elves in Congress when Santa isn’t watching. Can you guess his identity?- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Many Druids are already excited about Saturday’s Winters Solstice and the World Fake Orgasm for Peace Day, and nowhere on the planet will that event be celebrated with such enthusiasm as it will be in the Tri-state. There’ll be a giant group orgasm at the Phallic Peace Pole in Anderson, the Piece Bell in Newport will be ringing continuously because every time you head a bell ring it means some lucky lady is having an orgasm, the sign on the Y’All Ville water tower even says, “Y’All Come,” and Miss Vicki says all those uptight bitches from Fort Mitchell are still planning to celebrate “Fake Orgasms for Peace Day.”
That’s why our good friend Michael “Liquid” Plummer organized our Fort Mitchell focus group this week to try to determine how guys could figure out when their womenfolk were faking it, and this morning as a huge pubic service, The Whistleblower is pleased to bring you the “Top Ten Ways You’ll Know She’s Faking an Orgasm”:
10. She won’t stop yawning.
9. She keeps yelling, “Hurry up, Steve! Aren’t you finished yet?”
8. She keeps moaning somebody else’s name.
7. She keeps asking, “What are you doing back there?”
6. She won’t answer when you ask if it’s the best sex she’s ever had.
5. She asks if she can count on your vote.
4. She falls asleep before you do.
3. She says she forgot to take her Orgasmo.
2. She asks if you forgot to take your Viagra.
…and the Number One Way You’ll Know She’s Faking an Orgasm is… She says, “Next time start without me!”
Maybe that’s why Horny in Hebron says, “Everyone should live to be 92 years old, have an orgasm and drop dead.”
And now we have your Winter Solstice Joke: So, a man goes to the doctor on Winter Solstice Day to get some tests done. After a little while, the doctor comes back and says, “I’ve got bad news and good news. The bad news is that you have six months to live.”
“What’s the good news?” says the man.
“Well, the days are getting longer,” said the doctor.
- BACK AT THE BLOWER, holiday cards displayed include the personally signed one from George and Laura and The Blower’s own holiday card that says “Forget the Christmas Season, the whole thing’s really crappy, just give us a scandal, to make us all happy.” The verse was written by Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his bestselling book: “Let’s Celebrate the Solstice.” The third card is from Boondoggle County Judge Defective Once Moore that says, “The economy’s down, Times are hard, Here’s your Fuckin’ Christmas Card.” The envelope says it was not mailed at over-taxed payers’ expense. If you believe that, we have a bridge we’d like to sell you.
- FINALLY, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says he can hardly wait for our Good Friend Kenton Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders’ annual Christmas Party at the Forum in Covington on December 19, especially since The Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) events are being combined.
One thing they’ll all be talking about is how “Crazy Eric” always manages to surface at press events so soon after tragedies occur, particularly if somebody actually sent The Blower some definitive proof about how he unethically solicits clients.
RULE 7.3: DIRECT CONTACT WITH PROSPECTIVE CLIENTS
(a) A lawyer shall not by in-person, live telephone, or real-time electronic contact solicit professional employment from a prospective client when a significant motive for the lawyer’s doing so is the lawyer’s pecuniary gain, unless either of the following applies:
(1) the person contacted is a lawyer;
(2) the person contacted has a family, close personal, or prior professional relationship with the lawyer.
And “Crazy Eric” must be praying The Blower never gets hold of a recording of one of Crazy’s subtle “sales calls.”
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Some Christmas-spirit-filled items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Christmas-spirit-filled items subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah Chorus
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