Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Please don’t ask how much it’s costing U.S. over-taxed payers for Obama to travel to South Africa for his Mandela Photo Op today. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
Mandela was partially responsible for Obama’s own political awakening. —Obama Minor Nominees Hoping For Better Jobs
Our Pathetic Political Pundits are exploiting Mandela’s death to praise Obama and suggesting releasing criminals from U.S. Prisons to honor Mandela. —Obama Cheerleaders at PMSNBC
And of course we’ll be ignoring Mandela’s Communist Party ties and dictator friends. —Other TV Networks
Obama fights tougher opposition from the GOP than Mandela ever did against Apartheid. —Racial Racketeer Al Sharpton
Please don’t mention that time I discussed putting Mandela on our Terror List. —Colin Powell
Mandela helped me forgive the GOP for impeaching me. —Former Pants Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton
We’re taking time out today to tweet tribute tributes to the life and legacy of Nelson Mandela. —Members of Congress
Other than his first choice of Willie Cardon, Jr. to be his City Mangler, what do people think of some of Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley’s other choices to run the City. —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception
On this date in 1901 the first Nobel Prizes were awarded to those, who, during the preceding year, conferred the greatest benefit on humanity. Meanwhile, Obama is wondering what to do about his RQ-170 Sentinel spy drone that Iran keeps showing on TV after Obama’s military allowed it to fall into enemy hands. —Hurley the Historian
No wonder we chose Ronald Reagan’s “One picture is worth 1,000 denials.” —Quote for Today Committee
Just because I continue to break the law by not paying my taxes doesn’t mean I’m not qualified to be the Lieutenant Governor of Ohio. —Doomed DemocRAT Eric Kearney
What better way for Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Jewish Obama voters like Bubbie and Zadie to demonstrate their unwavering devotion to Obama before their taxes go up big time in January than to get them to purchase one more Obama Hanukkah item for next year, like this Jews for Obama ornament for their Hanukkah Bushes for only $9.95. —The Obama 2016 Third Term Re-election Campaign
If you’re still having trouble finding those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County, call us at 513-474-7777 for directions. — Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Office
Are you sure Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and all of the Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda didn’t get an invitation to My Annual Christmas Party at the Schmidt Run Estates at 771 Wards Corner Road, where I plan to announce my return to politics? —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
We’re all planning to be there, so that party will really rock. —CFK’s Conservative Crew
And we’ll all be there to sing “Mean Jean’s Twelve Days of Christmas.” —Republicans for Higher Taxes
And after we chose a Draft Dodger like Bill Cunningham to be one of our 238 nominees for this year’s “2013 Defender Of Liberty Award,” to be presented at the COAST Christmas Party, Family Friend Fascist Chris Finney say maybe we should nominate “Mean Jean” Schmidt too. —That “One Percent for Liberty” Organization, Whatever the Hell That Is
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
Please tell the yoofs there be only 16 mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa! —Kwanzaa Klaus
Hey, everybody: a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived. —K-Mart
Not all of our teachers send out full-frontal-nude Christmas cards. —Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy
With so few Blacks and Jews in Northern Kentucky, it will be hard trying to decide which minor holiday to ignore in December. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Will we be once again combining our Christmas Parties at Forum in Covington on December 19 with our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders this year? —The Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club)
This year we have a special authentic Christmas display with the Three Wise Men flying in on a pterodactyl. —Answers in Genesis
Forget about the gift exchange at the company Christmas Party. No gift exchange is allowed since union members feel $10 is too much money for any gift, and executives believe $10 won’t even buy a crappy little gift. So… NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. —Patty Lewis, Human Resource Director
During the holiday season, our Covington Bimbo Chorale will be singing, “Oh. Come, All Ye Unfaithful.” —Phyllis on Madison
On the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a sign of Baby Jesus, should ever be found. —The Northern Kentucky ACLU
You can’t believe all the jumbo shrimp we’ve ordered for the party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club tomorrow night to kick off my brother Justin’s campaign for the Kentucky Court of Appeals —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
This year for Christmas, we’re not even giving all our Boondoggle County employees an extra lump of coal. —Judge Defective Once Moore
When is Governor Steve sending out his “Holiday” cards? —The American Family Association
During the holiday season, it’s important to spend time with your family. The least they could’ve done is put us all us Erpenbecks in the same jail. —Bill and Tony Erpenbeck
My favorite Christmas tradition involves reindeer meat. —Billy Bob Carbine
Don’t forget. You don’t have to be Druish to celebrate the Winter Solstice on December 21. —Dave the Druid
And when they are celebrating World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2013, can we still have our Fake Orgasms? —Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell
Men never fake orgasms, because no man wants to make a face like that without the reward. —Husbands of Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell
Do you think Orgasm Day would be a good day to give a party? —Miss Vicki
Not every Winter Solstice celebration involves a barnyard animal. —Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams
Which holiday do they observe for the Summer Solstice? —Trish the Dish
Sheree Paolello always liked it when we used to say “orgasms” on the air. —Jack Atherton (Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you’re having trouble finding me)
And if all of that isn’t entertaining enough, check out my new video this week. —Uncle Jay Explains the News

MORE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL CARTOONS

Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of made-up holidays to show that PC Fanatics will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a multi-cultural metro-sexual.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Dave the Druid.

WORLD ORGASMS FOR PEACE HOT LINE

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Some multiple orgasm producing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally multiple orgasm producing subscribers, but we could always use more.

WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

WARNING: The Most Horrible Christmas Commercial You Will EVER see!

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Daily Archives: December 10, 2013

Special “World in Mourning” E-dition