Saturday, December 7, 2013
Happy Pearl Harbor Day, Everybody!
Hurley the Historian says today’s the 72nd Anniversary of the Japanese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, or as the Obama Administration is calling it, “the Asian Spring,” and The Blower will be trying to ignore political correctness running amok during the Dark Ages of the Divided States of America during Obama 2.0. Now just imagine Obama’s blamestream news coverage if that Pearl Harbor attack happened today.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Diane Watson’s “The parallels between 9/11 and Pearl Harbor are striking. In each instance there were warning signs before the attack, and in each instance our government failed to connect the dots.”
Meanwhile at the White House on Pearl Harbor Day, our Campaigner-in-Chief plans to continue attacking Republicans for not raising taxes. “I’m totally willing to shut the country down again in 39 more days,” Obama says, “and it would a terrible mistake for Congress to go home for the holidays without giving me everything I asked for, while my family and I are away on our sixth over-taxed payer funded holiday vacation in Hawaii.” “I have a mandate,” Obama proclaimed. “All of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters have clearly spoken.”
December Daze
The Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau says those Amish Christmas Tree Lights are always the biggest event in Adams County during the Yuletide Season. People drive from all over the tri-state just to see them, and this Saturday the occasion will be even more historic, because Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup will be throwing the switch to turn on the display. Call “Bronze Star’s” Office at (513) 474-7777 for a ticket to the VIP Party. Both Jewish families in Adams County will be invited to participate in their homes by lighting the first candles on their Hanukkah menorahs.
And with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and the Conservative Crew from Congress, that event will really rock.
- Now for those of you planning to join Outcast Attorney Chris Finney and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane in attending “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Annual Christmas Party later this month where she’ll be kicking off her return to politics, let’s all sing the third verse of “Mean Jean’s” sent in by “Mean Jean’s” former campaign Mangler, Joe “I Managed Scott Croswell’s Failed Campaign Too” Braun, whose Strauss & Troy law firm partners are celebrating this Christmas because they’ve finally been paid for defending “Mean Jean” in Columbus before the Ohio Elections Commission several years ago.
It goes something like this:
On the Third Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.
Meanwhile, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane has not yet received his annual Christmas card from Rob “Fighting for Family Photographs” Portman. Could this possibly be just a coincidence?
The political elite in Northern Kentucky should be able to find the kickoff party for Justin Sanders’ Kentucky Court of Appeals Campaign next Wednesday. It’s at the Fort Mitchell Country Club, where everybody was last Wednesday at Graydon Head’s Annual Holiday Party. Word is, they might even have some more of that beef tenderloin and those jumbo shrimp.- The following Thursday (December 19) will be Justin’s brother Rob’s 7th Annual Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney’s Office Party at Forum (formerly Sidebar/Coco’s) at 322 Greenup Street in Covington. Coincidentally, that’s the same time and place as the Holiday Party for the Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club). Is that a coincidence or what?
BREAKING NEWS: Thursday at 9:41 PM, Charles Foster Kane’s Long-Time Faux Facebook Friend Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters finally “unfriended” him. Do you think it could’ve been something we’ written?-
ORNAMENTS FOR THE DAMNED: Catholics who defied the Church and will surely burn in hell for voting for Obama can show their support by decorating their homes with Obama ornaments during the holiday season. This one only costs $8.99, plus God-only-knows-how-much for shipping-and-handling from The Obama 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign. - AND YOU KNOW ITS GOING TO BE A GOOD HOLIDAY SEASON, because K-Mart just re-ordered more of those Amazing Chabotheads. Kwanzaa Claus says there are now only nineteen more shoplifting days until Kwanzaa. Druids will be celebrating the Winter Solstice on December 21, and Cougars in Fort Mitchell will be trolling for high school boys for some World Orgasm Day revelry.
- Now here’s an update on that Company Christmas Party you’ve been reading about in The Blower:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of “Santa” does happen to be “Satan,” there is no evil connotation to our own “little man in a red suit.” It’s a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine’s Day. Could we lighten up? Please? Also the company has changed its mind about the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail sent to your home.
Patty
- ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders obnoxious e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features an unusually ugly array of losers, low-lifes, and scofflaws, all in hot water for being half-witted criminals! None, however, garnered as much attention from the local news leeches as former youth coach Thomas Hansman who’s headed to the big house for 5 years for diddling an underage school kid. What’s with all the teachers/coaches/band directors these days that can’t keep their paws off the kids?!
SPEAKING OF PICTURES, Channel 9 “Substantially True” News had a really big story about a teacher at Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy being put on administrative leave after school officials said a nude photo of her had spread online. In case you hadn’t seen the photo in question, HERE IT IS. The Blower bets those CHCA High School boys will be going through a lot of boxes of Kleenex this weekend. You should’ve seen Cincinnati’s New Mayor John Cranley when we showed him that teacher’s naked picture.- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAYS MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Thursday night’s Anderson High School’s Class of ‘56 Survivors Dinner at Red Lobster went off without a glitch. It was a good thing nobody was there trying to sell ObamaCare. The poor sap would’ve been beaten senseless by old ladies with their canes. But the best part of the evening was when one of Charles Kane’s classmates showed everybody his class ring that had just been returned to him that he thought had been lost forever the night of the Senior Prom. One of his old girlfriend’s doctors found it during a Gynecological Exam last week.
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
“From the Soup Line to the Ridiculous” by James Jay Schifrin
I’ll tell you this…you’ll have to go a long way to find a better promotion than the one last week that brought President Reagan to town for seven minutes.
A lot of people complained about the cost to local taxpayers. But think about the local benefits.
Traffic was snarled and parking was impossible, but at least police got a lot of overtime.
Mayor David Mann assured Cincinnati that federal funds would be tripled by his actions . Usually a dissident Democrat, put aside petty partisan politics and made the chief executive feel right at home.
When asked why his welcoming address was delivered at the soup line protest on Fountain Square, the mayor explained, “I just couldn’t help myself. When I saw all those TV cameras, I just went sort of crazy.”
Not since the Kool Jazz Festival has the Westin Hotel had so much great publicity. La Rosa’s gave pizza to some free-loading White House staff members. And some lucky rich people got out of meeting the President or hearing him speak, but only after paying thousands of dollars for that privilege.
Local politicians weren’t so lucky. Their attendance was mandatory. Somebody was making a list and checking it twice. Those who couldn’t afford $1,000 for dinner had to find some way to sneak in. Most inventive was Patronage County’s own beloved Commissioner Swindle, who posed as a bus boy to gain entrance. Once inside, Swindle was seen stuffing his pockets with appetizers. “Waste not, want not,” Swindle was quick to tell a reporter.
But maybe Swindle is right. Any elected official who can afford $1,000 for himself and a guest just to listen to his boss give a speech certainly doesn’t need a pay raise. Not only that, he doesn’t need all that money he’s being paid right now.
This op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 9, 1981.
More Conservative Political Cartoons
HOLIDAY PARTY HOT LINE
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Steve Martin Is “The Great Flydini”
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