Friday, December 6, 2013
It’s Déjà Vu All Over Again
At today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how Obama has “pivoted” back to the economy to “focus his energies on Economic Policies” 19 times since he’s been in office. But didn’t he promise each of those other eighteen times he’d spend every waking moment “focused like a laser” on jobs? In fact, Kane says the only thing Obama’s done more than to make empty promises would be to play golf. No wonder 61% of Americans polled say the nation is headed off on the wrong track. All those Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters still aren’t paying attention. Let’s face it, folks. We’re going to have to call “Bullshit” on that one. Because two Americans have been added to Food Stamp rolls for every job the White House claims it’s created.
Hurley the Historian says today on this date in 1884, work on the Washington Monument was completed, but as early as 1783, Congress decided that a memorial to the great Revolutionary War general should be constructed near the site of the new Congressional building. For Congress, 101 years is pretty quick work. And maybe in another 101 years, our Clueless Congress will have finally cleaned up the mess of America’s Dark Ages that Obama’s created when he leaves office in only another 1,141 more days unless he’s impeached!
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose that sarcastic “Time flies when you’re having fun” expression.
And for people who are definitely not having fun this morning, Republicans for Higher Taxes are decrying the death of their beloved Cincinnati Streetcar. They reminded all streetcar supporters that the Suicide Hotline is open 24/7.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s Attorney Kevin “Mad Mick” Murphy, who spent the entire evening on Wednesday at his prestigious law firm’s Annual Holiday Party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club being congratulated for winning that $100 million judgment from Grant Thornton, but it still wasn’t enough for him to be allowed to grab that esteemed corner office recently made available when Rick “The Batboy” Robinson mysteriously disappeared.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in recognizing aspiring Greater Cincinnati guest columnists, is pleased to permit a guy who says unlike Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, that his clients’ jury awards are collectable, to be today’s guest editor and choose three items plus a quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
“A STREETCAR NAMED DISASTER” by John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph
Turncoat City Clown-cil member PG Sitt-n-Spin says “It’s ridiculous to lose $70 million (up from $40 million now that we got Milton Donut’s ‘secret’ memo!) and have nothing to show for it.”
No, PG—what’s ridiculous is to start a project you can’t afford in the first place.
$70 million is a fraction of what this fiasco will cost Cincinnati over-taxed payers down the road just to feed Mark Mallory’s massive ego.
Kudos to the voters of Cincinnati for finally stemming the tide of liberal irresponsibility. Let’s hope Mayor Cranley is manly and his Nine Fine Clowns stand firm against opposition supported by union thugs, private interest money, greed, lies, and the liberal media.
Ain’t it fun to watch the lefties squirm for a change? Let’s sock it to ‘em again in November!
A very MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone. And if you’re offended by that— Bite Me!
“THE PROBLEM WITH FREE STUFF” by John Barrett, CEO of W&S Enterprise
All those Obama Supporters who are getting the free stuff don’t like the folks who are paying for the free stuff, because the folks who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff. The folks who are paying for the free stuff want the free stuff to stop, but the folks who are getting the free stuff want even more free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!
Now the people who are forcing the people who pay for the free stuff have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff that the people who are PAYING for the free stuff are being mean, prejudiced, and racist. So… the people who are GETTING the free stuff have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the free stuff by the people who are forcing some people to pay for their free stuff and giving them the free stuff in the first place. We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting free stuff than paying for the free stuff.
Now understand this: All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded. The reason is their voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them. The United States officially became a Republic in 1776, 236 years ago. The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff. Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it.
ELECTION 2014 IS COMING: A Nation of Sheep Has Bred a Government of Wolves!
Politicians: Let’s elect thinkers, not ones controlled by lobbyists no matter if they’re DemocRATS or Republicans.
Borders: Close Them.
Language: English Only
Culture: God, Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!
Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!
NO freebies to Non-Citizens, and that includes Education and Food Stamps
“EFFICIENT GUN CONTROL THAT MAKES SENSE” by Bluegrass Rifle Association Hired Gun Billy Bob Carbine
In 1863 a DemocRAT shot and killed Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States.- In 1881 a left wing radical DemocRAT shot James Garfield, President of the United States, who later died from the wound.
- In 1963 a radical left wing socialist shot and killed John F. Kennedy, President of theUnited States.
- In 1975 a left wing radical DemocRAT fired shots at Gerald Ford, President of theUnited States.
- In 1983 a registered DemocRAT shot and wounded Ronald Reagan, President of theUnited States.
- In 1984 James Hubert, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 22 people in a McDonalds restaurant.
- In 1986 Patrick Sherrill, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 15 people in anOklahoma post office.
- In 1990 James Pough, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC office.
- In 1991 George Hennard, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 23 people in a Luby’s cafeteria.
- In 1995 James Daniel Simpson, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 5 coworkers in a Texas laboratory.
- In 1999 Larry Asbrook, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 8 people at a church service.
- In 2001 a left wing radical DemocRAT fired shots at the White House in a failed attempt to kill George W. Bush, President of the US.
- In 2003 Douglas Williams, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 7 people at a Lockheed Martin plant.
- In 2007 a registered DemocRAT named Seung – Hui Cho, shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.
- In 2010 a mentally ill registered DemocRAT named Jared Lee Loughner, shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.
- In 2011 a registered DemocRAT named James Holmes, went into a movie theater and shot and killed 12 people.
- In 2012 Andrew Engeldinger, a disgruntled DemocRAT, shot and killed 7 people inMinneapolis.
- In 2013 a registered DemocRAT named Adam Lanza, shot and killed 26 people in a school.
One could go on, but you get the point, even if the media does not. Clearly, there is a problem with DemocRATs and guns.
No NRA member, TEA Party member, or Republican conservatives are involved.
SOLUTION: It should be illegal for DemocRATs to own guns! (As Ross Perot always used to say, “It’s just that simple.”)
AND A QUICKIE
By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
You probably won’t believe this, but the telephone # for Obamacare is 1-800-FUCK YOU (I-800-382-5968). It looks like our Washington idiots finally got something right.
Don’t believe it? Take a minute to call before they figure out what they’ve done.
Stories We’re Working On
Obama Youth Turn On Their Leader- 50,000 Sign Up For Internet Gambling In NJ, But Only 741 For ObamaCare
- Fight Breaks Out Between Women During Xmas Tree Lighting
- Union-Backed Minimum Wage Hike Could Cost Half A Million Fast Food Jobs
- Property Values Along Streetcar Route Return to Normal
- Finney To Accept Tax Credits In Clermont County
- Rand Paul Finally To Visit Northern Kentucky
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s who the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said you most often see at Politicians’ Christmas parties:
(A) Candidates and supporters: 2%
(B) Unpaid vendors: 2%
(C) Guys patting women’s asses: 4%
(D) Really drunk freeloaders: 92%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
More Conservative Political Cartoons
The GOP is S.O.L
This week, everybody who realized local Republicans got exactly what they deserved on Election Day in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013 but were not quite sure how they could ever correct their mistakes before the 2013 elections, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is noted political pundit Billy Bombast, who says the best way to win, is to have crooked cronies running your county board of elections, so they can count the votes over and over until your candidate gets elected, and then stop counting.
Billy wins a BS Meter to put on his TV during all those political shows, a stuffed RINO-head trophy for his wall, and an engraved invitation to subscribe to the Special Whistleblower Insiders Edition. His winning limerick is:
Is there help for the old GOP?
Is there a candidate as Conservative as me
They can all talk the talk
But can they walk the walk
Where’s the hope for just you and me?
Anderson Township Trustee-elect Gerth Pappas writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
Is there hope in the TEA Par-ty
Palin has a pretty face
But she couldn’t win a nasty race
Is there help for the old GOP?
“TaxKiller Tom Brinkman” writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
If so, where can it be?
I’ve looked high and low
Even watched the Glenn Beck show
But I can’t find any help for the old GOP.
Gerth Pappas writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
The left and the middle can’t be,
When the Conservative base,
Becomes its only face,
It’ll be the “Grand Old Party” for me.
State Senator Shannon Faulkner Jones writes:
Is there any help for the old GOP?
Having been for so long on a liberal spree?
Only TEA-partiers and birthers,
Not those left-wing save-the-earthers
Are the future of Republican esprit.
From Northern Kentucky, Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
Or is this a one-party “democracy?”
To fight the scourge of Obama
And his buddy Osama
We should purge all our RINO debris.
The Robster’s Esteemed Father Bob Sanders wrote:
Is there help for the old GOP?
Well, just between you and me
If they stay so extreme
Then it really does seem
They will continue to be the minority.
The Robster’s Brother Justin Sanders, running for the Court of Appeals in Kentucky, wrote:
Is there help for the old G.O.P.?
Ask somebody else, instead of me?
We lost both damn houses
To those DemocRAT louses,
With Obama, how much fucking worse could it be?
Boonedoggle County Judge Executive Gary Moore (who many people didn’t recognize at Wednesday night’s Graydon Head Holiday Party because he’d shaved his beard) wrote:
Is there hope for the old GOP?
Things look bleak and depressing to me.
But don’t think the Dems have salvation
For what’s ailing this nation,
Not with Obama and that bitch Hillary.
And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (It’s not terribly mean-spirited this time, but then, he’s a Republican):
Is there help for the old GOP?
Things don’t look so good to me.
The voters were drunk
And elected a slick-talking punk
And now we can all go piss up a tree.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“What if Santa turned out to be gay?”
WHISTLEBLOWER WISH LIST HOT LINE
e-mail your ribald requests today.
Some stocking stuffed items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally stocking stuffed subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
Forget About the Price Tag
The Department of Health and Human Services has crowned a YouTube video entitled “Forget About The Price Tag” as the grand prize winner in a contest meant to encourage young people to sign up for ObamaCare.
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
