Thursday, November 28, 2013

Who’re the Biggest Turkeys for 2013?

Last weekend, the guys at “Not the Fishwrap” received a veritable cornucopia of votes for their Sixth Annual Whistleblower Turkey Decorating Contest for Thanksgiving, where the person who was selected as the biggest turkey of the year would be shown with his body on the head of a turkey. This year, the 2013 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest is again being sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurants and Northern Kentucky turkeys were not left out, because separate winners were awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.

First we showed you a video of previous Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Awards and asked you to let us know which person you thought deserved the Biggest Turkey of the Year Award in 2013. At Tuesday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, we even held a Turkey in the Straw Poll.

Then our distinguished panel of judges was scheduled to meet in executive session to select our finalists for the Biggest Turkey of the Year, and using that same “fair, open, and honest process” which has become a time-honored tradition in Hamilton County and Ohio RINO Party Politics, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane would then suggest the name of the winners and of course all of those suck-ups at the Conservative Agenda would agree.

The only problem was, every one of the 17,648 noxious nominations we received in 2013 was for the same winners we had in 2012 — Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP in Ohio and Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred Like $tan Che$ley, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters in Kentucky.

The Whistleblower Research Department called every single one of the nominators to verify their entries, and in every instance, the response was exactly the same. There are just no bigger turkeys in the tri-state than “Old Blueface” in Ohio and Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters in Kentucky. The consensus was unanimous— “There Are No Term Limits for Turkeys of the Year.”

Then the guys at “Not the Fishwrap” told us to go screw ourselves, because they weren’t making another making another video for 2013 when the guys who won the 2013 Turkey of the Year Contest were the same as the guys who had won the contest the year before.

Now you can watch that video here

This is the Official “Biggest Turkey of the Year” Contest. Any other “Biggest Turkey of the Year” Contest you may see published elsewhere on Thanksgiving is surely a fake, especially the one in the Morning Fishwrap.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s e-dition is brought to you by another generous donation made during our November fund-raising drive by, Tewes Poultry Farm in Northern Kentucky, murderers of millions of turkeys since 1955.

THANKSGIVING E CARDS

Some stuffing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our stuffing subscribers

Whistleblower Link of the Day

Happy Thanksgiving with Jeff Dunham and Walter

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.