Friday, November 22, 2013
The Blower Remembers…
At today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how Obama is really exploiting the 50th Anniversary of JFK’s assassination Kneepad Liberals will be celebrating today, compared with the Obama Administration usual screw-up of Tuesday’s 150th Anniversary of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
Obama Supporters in the Press will be doing everything they can to compare Obama favorably with John F. Kennedy today. Kane reminded the group about when Kennedy said, “A tax cut means higher family income and higher business profits and a balanced federal budget…. As the national income grows, the federal government will ultimately end up with more revenues. Prosperity is the real way to balance our budget. By lowering tax rates, by increasing jobs and income, we can expand tax revenues and finally bring our budget into balance.” That’s one comparison you probably won’t hear Obama’s friends making today.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose JFK’s “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country,” which many people think is how ObamaCare’s turned out.”
And in an related item, Hurley the Historian says today I’m thankful to live in a country where everybody will remember where they were at 12:30 PM Central Standard Time in 1963, when President Kennedy was assassinated.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s Florida Republican Congressman From Cincinnati Henry “Trey” Radel, who’s taking a leave of absence from Congress and donating his salary to charity after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge of cocaine possession and receiving a sentence of a year’s probation. Trey joins “Mean Jean” Schmidt, Kathleen Sebelius, and Jerry Springer among the most embarrassing political people on the national scene to have come from Cincinnati.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in recognizing aspiring embarrassing Greater Cincinnati guest columnists, is pleased to permit a guy who appears to be manning up and accepting responsibility for his actions, to be today’s guest editor and choose three items plus a quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
- PELOSI DECLARED SAINT BY CATHOLIC CHURCH by Father Guido Sarducci
Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington , D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, “No. I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.
Pelosi’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a
donation of $10,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”
The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”
As Pelosi’s aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.
The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, “While Congresswoman Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.
Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must
say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both In Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.”
The Cardinal concluded, “But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint.”
- AMERICA’S HUNTERS by Bluegrass Rifle Association Spokesman Billy Bob Carbine
A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a handful of states and arrived at a striking conclusion: There were over 600,000 hunters this season in the state of Wisconsin.
Allow me to restate that number: 600,000!
Over the last several months, Wisconsin ‘s hunters became the eighth largest army in the world. (That’s more men under arms than in Iran. More than France and Germany combined.)
These men, deployed to the woods of a single American state (Wisconsin) to hunt with firearms, and NO ONE WAS KILLED.
That number pales in comparison to the 750,000 who hunted the woods of Pennsylvania and Michigan ‘s 700,000 hunters, ALL OF WHOM HAVE RETURNED HOME SAFELY.
Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia and it literally establishes the fact that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world.
And then add in the total number of hunters in the other 46 states. It’s millions more.
The point? America will forever be safe from foreign invasion with that kind of home-grown firepower! Hunting is not just a way to fill the freezer. It’s a matter of national security.
That’s why all enemies, foreign and domestic, want to see us disarmed.
- TOP 10 THINGS MORE POPULAR THAN OBAMACARE by Steve Deace
The Obama Regime fell well short of its estimated enrollment numbers in ObamaCare’s first official month. The White House was counting on about 495,000 selecting a marketplace plan, but of the over 846,000 people that accessed the ObamaCare exchanges only 106,185 actually signed up.
But the number that really matters is 27,000. That’s how many people have actually paid for their ObamaCare plans.
When contrasted with the at least five million people who have lost their healthcare coverage, it’s clear that instead of curing the problem of uninsured Americans ObamaCare is actually costing many more people their health coverage instead. Furthermore, when you consider the substantial political hit this fiasco has been to the Obama presidency for so little return on investment, ObamaCare is on pace to become among the greatest presidential boondoggles in American history.
To put these paltry numbers in perspective, I have compiled a list of the top 10 things more popular than ObamaCare.
10. More people have Gonorrhea than have ObamaCare. Therefore, “the clap” is more popular than ObamaCare.
9. Over 61 million more people have watched uber-annoying YouTube sensation Fred go grocery shopping than have ObamaCare. Therefore, watching a nitwit in a screeching voice terrorize a local grocery store is more popular than ObamaCare.
8. More people have purchased “anal bleaching” products than have ObamaCare. Therefore, bleaching your backside is more popular than ObamaCare
7. At its peak, more people belonged to the Church of Satan in America than have ObamaCare. Therefore, the devil is more popular than ObamaCare.
6. Studies show more people eat their own boogers at least once a month than have ObamaCare. Therefore, digesting your own snot on a regular basis is more popular than ObamaCare.
5. More people voted for day-time shock/trash TV host Jerry Springer to be the mayor of Cincinnati than have ObamaCare. Therefore, “Mayor Springer” is more popular than ObamaCare.
4. There are more Muslim men forcibly married to underage girls than people who have ObamaCare. Therefore, statutory rape in the Islamic world is more popular than ObamaCare.
3. More people voted for actress/comedienne Roseanne Barr for president in 2012 than have ObamaCare. Therefore, “President Roseanne” is more popular than ObamaCare.
2. More people commit suicide each year than have ObamaCare. Therefore, suicide is more popular than ObamaCare, which ironically looks like a form of political suicide.
1. More people listen to my radio program each night then have enrolled in ObamaCare. Therefore, I am more popular than ObamaCare, which is a little bit like being the one-eyed man in the land of the blind.
- AND A QUICKIE By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.” And that’s how the fight started…..
Stories We’re Working On
ObamaCare website mocked by insurance company- White House feared website issues before launch
- 50 to 100 million insurance cancellations coming
- Sebelius asked to explain $2B in ObamaCare loans
- Doctors are concerned about new pay scales
- 93% want to see ObamaCare altered or repealed
- No wonder Obama and Dems want to dump the name “Obamacare”
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most patriotic Americans would be celebrating the upcoming Thanksgiving Day:
(A) Giving thanks to Obama: 2%
(B) Getting ready to have their health insurance cancelled: 2%
(C) Getting their peckers pulled at airports: 4%
(D) Enjoying another day off with pay: 92%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
More Conservative Political Cartoons
Doubters and Disbelievers
This week, everybody who was not surprised Obama got caught lying about ObamaCare, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is our Suspicious Skeptic, who says since Obama and his Dishonest DemocRATS have all been caught lying about everything else during the past five years, there was no reason to believe he’d be telling the truth this time.
Suspicious wins the same subsidized health care plan as his Member of Congress receives, a free proctology exam from Doctor Stoolpusher, and to be nominated as another “Defender of Liberty” by the little-known 1% for Liberty Organization (whatever the hell that is). His winning entry is:
When Obama said you could keep your old plan
Was he just a flim-flamming con man?
‘Cause the deal that you got
Has made you distraught
So you can throw it in your old garbage can.
And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (who says he does not plan to go shopping for a new health insurance plan these days):
When Obama said you could keep your old plan
He was counting on your short attention span.
You trusted the guy
You thought he’d never lie
Just like any slick confidence man.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“The best part of Thanksgiving Day”
WHISTLEBLOWER TURKEY OF THE YEAR HOT LINE
e-mail your noxious nominations today.
Some turkey basted items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally truly turkey basted subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
Double Standards – 50th anniversary of JFK’s assassination
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
