Saturday, November 16, 2013
This Week’s Cliff-hanger
Tired Over-Taxed Payer Tino Delgato says, our Cincinnati Soap Opera continues, as Kneepad Liberals just can’t get over how Disguised DemocRAT Mayor-elect John Cranley is persisting in keeping his campaign promises to stop Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly dead in its tracks, kill the Port Authority’s Parking Plot, and show Cincinnati Mangler Honey Dough Boy the door.
Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us another side of the story.
What did all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Trolley Followers think people were voting for on Election Day anyway.
Tino Delgato also says Fishwrappers are even reporting it costs $50,000 per day to continue the now cancelled Trolley streetcar project. So each day the City of Cincinnati is wasting the cost of one more new policeman or fireman. Go Figure!!!
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1532, Spanish explorer and conquistador Francisco Pizarro invited the Incan emperor to a feast, and then he opened fire on the unarmed Incans. Pizarro required the Incans to pay a 24-ton gold and silver ransom to obtain the return of their emperor. Pizarro then murdered the emperor anyhow. GOP House Speaker John Boehner says he thinks about that story every time he has to leave for a meeting with Obama at the White House.
Dysfunctional Democrats are also becoming unglued, running amok over the Failure of ObamaCare— you remember that bill they all said they had to vote for so they would know what’s in it?
“I don’t know how he fucked this up so badly,” said one House DemocRAT who has been very supportive of Obama in the past.
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s, “Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.”
- OUR DEVOLVING CULTURE DURING THE AGE OF OBAMA: And how far have things degenerated during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (with only 1.161 more says remaining unless he’s impeached)? Nobody seemed particularly surprised when Toronto Mayor Rob Ford talked about eating pussy on live TV.
Ford claimed he never said “I want to eat your pussy” to a former female staffer, an allegation contained in the court document. “I’m happily married, I have more than enough to eat at home,” he said, drawing gasps from the reporters gathered around his office. [YOU CAN WATCH THAT INTERVIEW HERE]
ON A SLIGHTLY HIGHER PLANE, Thursday night, Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen was in town giving his usual fantastic Conservative Stump Speech to the class at EmpowerU, whatever the hell that is. [WATCH MCEWEN’S PRESENTATION HERE] The Blower wonders if it was the same speech McEwen gave to Blue Ash Republicans on Wednesday night, and on Thursday at the Chamber “ObamaCare” Breakfast at the Netherland, or the Christian Businessman’s luncheon in Montgomery on Thursday. Is it any wonder that given Conservatives dissatisfaction with Ohio’s Republican elected officials these days, after Thursday night’s speech, several people asked if McEwen planned to run for office again? You should’ve heard his answer. 
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Next Saturday is the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2013 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).
And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).
And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.
- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Former Fishwrapper Cartoonist Jim Borgman being honored on Saturday when his work is included in the Cooperstown of Cartooning in Columbus at Ohio State University’s Billy Ireland Cartoon Library & Museum.
Kane used to get a lot of coverage in the local press for his marvelous muckraking in the old days, and Jim Borgman even published some award-winning editorial cartoons lampooning Norman Murdock, like that one showing the disgraced and deceased Commissioner as a used car salesman.
This inspired satirical op-ed pieces by an unknown columnist for several years in the very Conservative, very much respected Mt. Washington Press, detailing the goings-on in the mythical “Patronage County,” where Commissioners Pilfer, Filch, and Swindle held sway. You’ll never guess how many people thought “Stormin’ Norman” was Commissioner Swindle.
No wonder Murdock’s wet dreams of being governor evaporated.
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
“Political Relativity” by James Jay Schifrin
Last week in the office of Peter Principal, Hereditary Chairman of the Patronage County Republican Party, his assistant John Henchman rediscovered the “Law of Political Relativity.”
“Here are our recommendations for the U.S. District Attorney appointment,” Henchman said. “I’ve narrowed it down to nine people. One’s even a woman.
“Tear up your list, Henchman. “The choice is out of our hands.”
“You don’t mean…”
“That’s right, Henchman. The winner is E.T. Barnum, Jr. The state Republican members of Congress have already recommended him to the Justice Department.”
“But what can I tell all these candidates to get us off the hook? This could be the only decent appointment to come out of Patronage County during the Reagan administration.”
“Tell them to call Congressman Grabisome, They twisted his arm till he’d say Barnum was the most qualified candidate.”
“The most qualified? Emptying wastebaskets in the Federal Building?”
“That, plus being the sone of the state GOP Chairman. Mighty impressive credentials, Henchman.”
“Now that you mention it…but who’s going to do all the work?”
“Just like always, Henchman, behind every political appointment there’s a pro to get the job done.”
“So who’s going to prosecute all those student loan defaulters?”
“You’re right, Henchman. With Barnum in there, we’ll need Professor Kingsfield himself.”
“No problem, Henchman. Whenever Barnum gets in trouble, he’ll call his dad in Columbus and ask him what to do.”
This op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on August 12, 1981.
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The Day ObamaCare Died – American Pie Parody
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