Friday, November 15, 2013
Whatever the Meaning of “Promise” Is…
At today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Obama’s current attempts to stop the bleeding from his hemorrhaging ObamaCare Program, because these days nobody believes him, especially when he got caught lying after he campaigned for reelection in 2012 promising Americans they could keep their health care plans. Kane was also asked how funny it was to watch local Liberals tearing their hair out over Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor-Elect John Cranley plans to stop Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly dead in its tracks, kill the Port Authority’s Parking Plot, and show Cincinnati Mangler Honey Dough Boy the door.
“The most amusing part of it all,” Kane explained, “is when Kneepad Liberals in the Press say it’s OK for Obama to lie about Benghazi, the IRS Scandal, NSA Spying and ObamaCare, but when a Disguised DemocRAT like Cranley actually keeps his campaign promise and doesn’t lie about stopping wasting money on the streetcar, city parking revenues, or an obsess incompetent city mangler, those Liberal Whackos don’t know how to handle it.” Reds fans would call it batting 1.000.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Dick Gregory’s “Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.”
And in an unrelated item, Hurley the Historian says on this day in 1977, President Jimmy Carter welcomed the Shah of Iran, and his wife to Washington when we had a good relationship with that country. Now it has taken Obama’s five years to improve relations with the Murdering Mullahs so that he could get his Secretary of State an audience in Geneva for the Mother of All Bitch-Slapping.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s Matt Bevin, Conservative Candidate running against U.S. Senate Surrender Monkey Bitch McConnell. Matt appeared at a packed house for Thursday night’s RINO Hunting Season Kickoff at the Anderson TEA Party Meeting, and told the crowd Kentucky needs a Senator who will stand up for Conservative Kentucky Values. [READ MORE HERE]
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in recognizing aspiring Conservative guest columnists, is pleased to permit a guy who’s not afraid to attack McConnell’s Liberal voting record like The Blower does, to be today’s guest editor and choose three items plus a quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
CANADIAN VERSION OF DAVID LETTERMAN’S TOP 10 by Saskatchewan Bill Cunningham
10) Only in America … could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000-a-plate campaign fund-raising event.
9) Only in America … could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black. 40% of all federal entitlements go to black Americans 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!
8) Only in America … could they have had the two people most responsible for the tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.
7) Only in America … can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.
6) Only in America … would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens.
5) Only in America … could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”
4) Only in America … could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
3) Only in America … could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes ( Nike ).
2) Only in America … could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.
1) Only in America … could the rich people – who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.
A CAR DEALER’S REPORT by Jeff Wyler
One of my salesmen here had a woman in his office yesterday wanting to lease a brand new Toyota. As he was reviewing her credit application with her, he noticed she was on Social Security disability. He said to her you don’t look like you’re disabled and unable to work. She said well I’m really not. I could work if I wanted to, but I make more now than I did when I was working and got hurt (non-disabling injury).
She said the government sends her $1,500 a month in one check. And she gets $700 a month on an EBT card (food stamps), and $800 a month for rent. Oh yeah, and 250 minutes free on her phone. That is just south of $3,500 a month.
When this Obama voter was working, she was taking home about $330 per week. Do the math and then ask yourself why she should go back to work. If you multiply that by millions of people, you start to realize the scope of the problem we face as a country. Once the socialists have 51% of the population in that same scenario, we are finished.
The question is when do we cross that threshold if we haven’t already, and there are not enough people working to pay enough taxes to support the non-working people?
Riots? Be prepared to protect your homes.
BTW, the woman didn’t lease the Toyota here because the dealer down the road beat our deal by $10-per-month.
Aren’t you glad to know she’s so frugal with your hard-earned money? Was Romney right about that 47% or what?
AN EASY GUIDE TO NEWSPAPERS by Wedgie Washburn
The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country
The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
And The Cincinnati Enquirer is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
AND A QUICKIE By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency.
It is half-black, half-white, and everything it does, stinks.
Stories We’re Working On
Obama caves on ObamaCare fix- Boehner says “Scrap ObamaCare once and for all!”
- DemocRATS in a real panic
- Amnesty is also dead
- In Cincinnati, Cranley uses a big broom
- Foxy Roxy’s photo on a milk carton
- CVG Board takes another trip or two
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said local Veterans would be celebrating Wednesday’s Veterans Day festivities:
(A) Enjoying free food at Applebee’s and Outback: 2%
(B) Taking part in patriotic events in Anderson: 1%
(C) Having strangers thank them for their service to our country: 1%
(D) Still going to work every day during the Obama Recession, because they can’t afford to retire: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Now For Something Completely Patriotic
This 25’ x 15’ American flag was flown at Clermont County’s Veterans Day parade last Monday evening in New Richmond, Ohio.
A Hero is Not Just a Sandwich
This week, everybody who says veterans and active duty personnel need to be thanked more than one day per year, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is real war hero Ollie Hackworth, one of the survivors of that “Three Against a Thousand Massacre” The Blower described earlier this week.
Ollie wins an autographed picture of Sergeant York, a complete set of Audie Murphy westerns on DVD, and some leftover Skyline from the free dinner on Veterans Day at the Anderson Center. His winning entry is:
This year on Veterans Day
I’ll be going out of my way
To tell the leeches in America
To cut the crap and hysteria
‘Cause we don’t believe whatever they say.
Lt. Colonel “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup wrote:
This year on Veterans Day
Patriotism should be on display.
This may be one of the last chances we’ve got,
Now that our currency isn’t worth squat,
To celebrate before the US of A goes away.
Semper Si Leis submitted:
This year on Veterans Day
You can do it any old way.
Because, what the hell
With don’t ask and don’t tell
We honor them both straight and gay.
SP4 Brad Beckett e-mail:
This year on Veterans Day
We still won’t know who is gay.
“Don’t ask and don’t tell”
Still holds for all personnel,
Even those wearing cologne and hair spray.
Colonel Danny Bubp-kiss-ass sent in:
This year on Veteran’s Day
There’s just one thing I want to say
“Thanks” to our brave vets
On the land, ships and jets
We owe them more than we can pay.
And in Kentucky, Colonel Sanders says:
This year on Veteran’s Day
Let’s see what The Messiah has to say,
I’m sure his rhetoric
Will be meteoric
With his teleprompter leading the way.
And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (It’s not terribly mean-spirited this time, but then, he’s a Republican):
This year when it’s Veteran’s Day
Remember the price some had to pay
They fought Hitler and Minh
Giving their lives to win
“God bless ’em” is all I can say.
They fought in the Pacific and in ‘Nam
Some were killed by a suicide bomb
We’re proud of them all
They answered the call
And stood up to radical Islam.
In our country, we want to be free
And so far, that’s how we’re allowed to be
But our enemies won’t quit
They’ll come at us bit by bit
A courageous, strong military’s the key.
Thanks to those who gave their lives
We can’t give them enough high fives
Some lost a leg or an arm
Just to save us from harm
They’ll be saints when Judgment Day arrives.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When Obama said you could keep your old plan”
WHISTLEBLOWER TURKEY OF THE YEAR HOT LINE
e-mail your noxious nominations today.
Some turkey basted items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally truly turkey basted subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
Send out the clowns
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.