Special “Things Could’ve Been Worse” E-dition

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

  • image004Yesterday, Obama’s Veterans Day greetings were even more sincere than his ObamaCare apology. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
  • At least these days veterans have found someone to despise more than me. —Hanoi Jane Fonda
  • Maybe that’s because for the past 69 years, every American President except Obama has taken the time to honor the memory and sacrifices of the 6,000 American soldiers killed on D-Day. —Veterans Who Remember
  • Just like we did before Obama trumped up charges to get rid of us. —Thirteen US Generals Forced to Resign By Obama This Year
  • And maybe it’s because the day has come upon us in America where we accept lies from our president. We accept laws that do not apply to everyone, not even to our elected officials. We find our Supreme Court hearing a case as to whether or not we can pray openly before civic meetings, when our nation’s motto is “In God We Trust.” —Conservative Commentator Allen West, Against All Enemies, Foreign and Domestic
  • image007Does anybody remember the President’s Veteran’s Day Message when I was the Commander in Chief? —George W. Bush
  • A lot of folks were wondering if the stock market would be open on Veterans Day, even though the banks were closed. —Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes
  • Yesterday was a great opportunity for flag-waving politicians to send out Veterans Day e-mails. —Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine
  • And to misspell “Veterans’ Day.” —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • Many people were surprised I didn’t turn Brad Jr.’s birthday into a fund-raising event. —Lt. Colonel “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup
  • When I tried to get a free meal at Trio’s, one of the veterans said he thought I must’ve been a Navy WAVE because he thought he remembered seeing me suck a sailor under a pier. —Mean Jean Schmidt
  • Yesterday, I was trying to encourage Chick-Fil-A to offer free meals to gay veterans. —Rob “Fighting or Fagellas” Portman
  • ”No, we’re not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.” —Harold Ramis (in “Stripes”)
  • “Army training, sir!”  —Bill Murray (in “Stripes”)
  • Currently in Congress, only 20% of the members have served or are serving in the military. Forty years ago, 73% of the members were veterans. Does that explain anything? —John Boehner and Bitch McConnell (Both part of the 80%)
  • image008Please don’t ask how much holiday pay all those Union construction workers are rushing to get just to tear up streets on Veterans Day (So they can get hired next month to put iot all back). –Cincinnati City Mangler Dough Boy Honey 
  • Does anybody know the minimum height for enlistment in the Army? —Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor-elect John Cranley
  • The Hamilton County Municipal Court Veterans Treatment Program was first conceived by Judge Melissa Powers in 2010 to help veterans who are criminal defendants cope with trauma resulting from warfare with the aim of providing healing, support, and a second chance.  Common Pleas Judge Ethna Cooper administers the felony court program. —CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street
  • People found it difficult to communicate on Veterans Day thirty years ago, since like today there was no mail delivery because the Post Office was closed, and there was no such thing as e-mail or iphones. —Patronage County Commissioners Filch, Pilfer, and Swindle
  • Monday was a great day to take a veteran to lunch, especially with all those Applebee’s Restaurants offering free meals. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane, US Army (Retired)
  • In Anderson Township, we rented a big bus for the First Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl, where Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 48 area restaurants offering Free Food. —The Anderson Veterans Society
  • image009We couldn’t believe you could scam free meals on Veterans Day at places like Applebees (free meal); Bob Evans (free all–you-can-eat hotcakes); Carrabba’s (free appetizer Nov. 9-11) Chili’s (free meal); Denny’s (all you can eat pancakes); Golden Corral (free meal); Hooters (a free meal up to $10.99 with any drink purchase); Krispy Kreme (free doughnut and coffee); Little Caesars (free crazy bread); Longhorn Steakhouse (free appetizer); Max & Erma’s (free fheeseburger fombo feal with dessert); McCormick and Schmick’s (free entree on November 10); O’Charley’s (free meal); Olive Garden (free meal); Outback Steakhouse (free Bloomin’ Onion® and a beverage);Red Lobster (Free Appetizer and drink Nov. 11-14); Red Robin (free burger and fries); Sizzler (free lunch); Starbucks (free coffee); TGI Fridays (free lunch); and Uno’s (buy one entrée or pizza and get one free). —Freeloaders Pretending to be Veterans
  • After I got out of the Army, I swore I’d never wait in a chow line again (even if it was free). But then I tried to get into Applebee’s and Friday’s for lunch on Monday. I can only imagine how long the wait will be tonight at Golden Corral. —PFC Kadon
  • At least he didn’t have to carry his tray to the dishwasher after he was done eating. —Hank the Server Guy
  • Next year they ought to have restaurants where all those scruffy looking customers would really feel welcome. They could call it Slovenly’s. —Whistleblower Fine Dining Columnist Martin UpChuck
  • Only in The Blower were people able to read about how Veterans could pig out on Skyline Chili at the Anderson Center at 5 PM on Veterans Day. —Anderson Trustee-elect Gerth Pappas
  • Afterwards, don’t forget to stop by on your way home for your free Beano. —Walgreens.
  • On Veterans Day, I placed a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Draft Dodger in Saskatchewan. —WLW Phony Patriot Bill Cunningham
  • Actually, we all thought Willie’s would be serving free meals to draft dodgers on Veterans Day. —Former WLW Saturday Morning Trash Talker Darryl Parks
  • image010The food at the Longhorn Steakhouse was certainly better than what they served in Korea in 1967-68. —John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph (on right)
  • Veterans should always wear little buttons on Veterans Day so we know whom to thank. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • We are pleased to sponsor the Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest once again this year. —Dummy’s Restaurants
  • The guys at Hooters bought me a beer after I told them I just came home to Boone County with the rest of the 169th Underground Mess Kit Repair Group in Boondoggle County after being in Afghanistan for the past 18 months and I got to see my six-month old daughter for the first time. —PFC Harley Mather
  • The best part about having lunch with my two comrades at Olive Garden was reliving how we survived that massacre at Fuc Qu.  What a battle, what fantastic odds, they never should have attempted it in the first place, it was three against a 1,000.  First they opened up with artillery fire— it was three against 1,000. Then they came at us with an infantry assault— it was three against 1,000. Finally, it was some of the bloodiest hand-to-hand combat in history. They were the toughest three gooks we’d ever seen. —Whistleblower War Hero Ollie Hackworth
  • image012Those GIs in Korea had the good duty. You should’ve seen the slop they served us when we were dining al fresco in a foxhole in Vietnam during the Tet offensive. —NoTaxJack
  • image013We are pleased to sponsor the Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest once again this year. —Dummy’s Restaurants
  • Can people who lied about their Vietnam record still march in a Veterans Day Parade? —The Old Ranger Ed Moore
  • On Veterans Day, prisoners at the Kenton County Escape Center can even have seconds on “SOS.” —Terry “the Smiling” Jailer Carl
  • image014I know it’s probably a long shot, but is there any chance of being considered for the 2013 Turkey of the Year Award? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
  • Hey, Everybody… Trish the Dish is really a veteran. We saw her discharge. —TV 19 News
  • I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to explain why 40% of veterans these days need food assistance.  —Ben Swann

MORE VETERANS DAY E-CARDS

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Now for Something Completely Patriotic

Veterans Day to Celebrate Freedom in HD

  • Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world, but the Marines don’t have that problem. — Ronald Reagan 

        — Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer — 

Sometimes The Blower ridicules phony patriots to show that lying about your military service is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Selective Service Scofflaw.

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This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially draft dodgers who claim to be patriotic.

Some military hero items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally military hero subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

                                                            Why Obama Won (Again)

image020Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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