Saturday, November 9, 2013
Sensible Suggestions
Tired Over-Taxed Payer Tino Delgato says, “Unfortunately the majority now consists of those who do not pay taxes and are on one or more government entitlement or welfare programs. If Obama gets all those illegal immigrants citizenship he’ll have further increased that majority, except for the ones who already vote. The government will be run by those who do not pay taxes and like Obama have never had a real job. Remember the old saying circa 1776 “no taxation without representation.” It is back. Go Figure!!!
Romney was really right about the 47%
Thomas Jefferson would’ve agreed, when he said, “The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”
Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says we should start working to repeal the 19th Amendment (the one giving women the right to vote) and test all male offspring for excess levels of estrogen in their systems. After watching John Boehner, Bitch McConnell, and the RINOs in Congress these days, it looks like treatment needs to begin immediately
Also, this just in from our Portly Pundit: The TEA Party is right. The GOP needs to stick to their values and pick better candidates, not that all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama supporters would ever notice the difference.
Now Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, has a political poem for any Liberals who might be giving you grief these days:
The election is over,
The talking is done.
My party lost,
Your party won.
So let us be friends,
Let arguments pass.
I’ll hug my elephant,
And you kiss my ass.
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Down at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, everybody’s still congratulating Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP on helping make Hamilton County just a little bit bluer Tuesday night. Alex’s results were even worse than in 2011 when his “Vote for Five” Jive resulted in only one Republican on Cincinnati City Clowncil. This year Alex even forgot to find a mayoral candidate. Do you think Alex now qualifies for our 2013 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest, sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurants? [SEE OUR 2011 TURKEY OF THE YEAR VIDEO HERE]- TEA Party Tim says “How far has the GOP fallen? Isn’t it bad enough that they elect RINOs and then do nothing to kick them out in the primary elections?”
DAN FROM DELHI sent us a picture of a typical teenage Halloween party. The boy dressed up as a bum, wearing the stuff he wears every day, while girls reveal their inner sluts and dress up as young Sluts for Obama.- OUR COLERAIN CRUSADER says it did not take long, but already the Crooked Cronies of Colerain Township are meeting to reward all of those township employees who helped campaign for the two incumbents that won reelection. Township employees were seen erecting signs for the incumbents (their bosses) and dismantling signs of the challengers using the excuse that the challengers’ signs were all “in the right of way.” Editor’s note: Colerain Township must have the most rights-of-way in the area.
The special, screw the taxpayer and reward the campaign workers meeting, will be held in special CLOSED to the public session on Saturday, November 16 at 10:00am, a convenient time when all regular people, meaning over-taxed payers are resting from a hard week of work and will not be able to attend. Not that it would matter, since the session is conveniently CLOSED to the public anyway.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES, still upset about the Roxanne Qualls defeat, are asking readers for their opinions why she was clobbered on Tuesday. They believe Foxy Roxy made a major error when she didn’t repudiate some of her spokesmen (like DereKKK Bauman) who alleged that Little Lord John Cranley was buying the support of prominent black leaders. - OUR CITY HALL SNITCH says it would be really funny if the soon-to-be-out-of-work Trolley Folly project manger called up Charlie Luken and told him that Mallory and Dohoney want him to enter into contracts with folks along the street car route that will put them in a position to sue the city when the street car boondoggle is stopped? Word is he wanted Luken to tell that to Cranley, since Deatrick “does not have a relationship” with the incoming Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor.
And why is it, those Defeated DemocRATS are always the last ones to get their signs down after an election.
- SPEAKING OF SIGNS: Everybody’s wondering which losing Anderson Trustee candidate forgot to purchase permits for his large signs. Along with receiving the lowest vote total in history according to the Anderson Historical Society, he’s now being billed for his overdue payment. And you thought all political advertising (including putting up illegal signs) was always “Cash in Advance.”
Failed DemocRAT Anderson Township Trustee candidate John Piehowicz has asked the person stealing his illegally placed signs to please continue, because he has NO intention of bothering to remove them himself.
Meanwhile, Successful Anderson Township Trustee Gerth Pappas has told his staff at Cleaner Concept to be on the lookout for that customer who dropped off the suit he happened to borrow for the big debate back in October. No, he doesn’t want to thank him or give him some free dry cleaning. Instead, he wants to review the customer’s winter suits. After all, Pappas will need to wear a nice suit to the swearing in ceremony on January 1.
But word is that ALL current Anderson Township Trustees are going to boycott the January 1 swearing in Ceremony. One on vacation, one out of embarrassment, and one will be in the bag (if you know what we mean).
The Liberal tax-and-spenders just had a little wind knocked out of their sails by the Forrest Gump School System. Seems all the so-called security issues they tried to trump up in order to pass a levy are going to be corrected by a recent grant the district is receiving. But the Gumpers will not stay down for too long. Angry Andersonians need to watch the Forest Hills Urinal as the case for a new levy is concocted during the next few months. Just beware if they use the slogan “School Safety,” since it is even more bogus today than it was for the last levy vote.
Also, Anderson Township does not have to worry about New Sheriff Jim Neil’s canceling his patrols. Thanks to former State Rep-tile “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman, the Anderson Trustees can tap into the huge TIF fund Andersonians have in order to pay for more patrols or to start their own police force. All other townships were stuck with State Rep-tiles like Bill Seitz and Michelle “Glass Slipper” Schnieder so they are SOL which means, Sorry, Out of Luck.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if Kentucky State Rep-tile “No Addia” Wuchner realizes she’s standing and smiling next to no-good power lobbyist and Bitch MaConnell apologist Marc Wilson in this staged photograph? They don’t call her “No Addia” for nothing, folks.
IN INDIANA: Bureau Chief Hoosier Daddy sent us this picture.- AND IN WYOMING: (The City Not the State): Over-taxed Payers are wondering whatever happened to that $750,000 so-called “Economic Development Package” after the Community Improvement Corporation (CIC) committee pissed it away with a free gift to DiStasi Enterprises, which had promised to open a nice restaurant at 400 Wyoming Avenue? Word is the property recently had a lien filed on it for non-payment of about $146,000 in additional contractor work that had been completed last December.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says On this date in 1875, followers of Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse were identified as “hostile.” But today, the Obama Administration would still not call them “terrorists.”
- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Custer’s “Where in the hell did all those fucking terrorists come from?”
MONDAY IS VETERANS DAY and Whistleblower War Hero Ollie Hackworth says according to Duffel.com, a military news source, “hundreds of thousands” of overseas military ballots were misdirected by the military mail service and arrived the day after the election and were not counted. That’s another reason many veterans aren’t smiling today.- MORE FREE CHOW FOR VETERANS: Draft Dodger Bill Cunningham says other Freeloaders Pretending to be Veterans can hardly believe all the places to scam a free meal on Veterans Day. At WXIX-TV, Trish the Dish even has a list. Of course, Trish’s List includes such places as Applebee’s, Bob Evans, Chili’s, Denny’s, Golden Corral, Max & Erma’s, McCormick & Schmick’s, Olive Garden, Outback, Red Robin, T.G.I Fridays, and Golden Corral. But only The Blower brought you the news of how Veterans can now pig out on Skyline Chili at the Anderson Center at 5 PM on Veterans Day. Walgreens is already stocking up on Beano.
“I can hardly wait to start swapping war stories with all those other geezers,” Whistleblower War Hero Ollie Hackworth exclaimed. Maybe Ollie will tell about that time he and two buddies survived that massacre. What a battle, what fantastic odds, they never should have attempted it in the first place, it was three against a 1,000. First they opened up with artillery fire— it was three against 1,000. Then they came with an infantry assault— it was three against 1,000. Finally, it was some of the bloodiest hand-to-hand combat in history. “Yes,” Ollie said, “they were the toughest three guys we’d ever seen.”
The Blower predicts at all those free lunches for Veterans, the main topic will be trying to decide who Veterans hate more this year—Jane Fonda or Obama.
MEANWHILE IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo has this heartwarming story about the Bluegrass Battalion returning home last night, just in time for Veterans Day: Six-month old Marley Mather had never seen her father Harley Mather, when he returned home to Boone County with the rest of the 169th Underground Mess Kit Repair Group. PFC Mather, a motor pool specialist, had been in Iraq for the past eighteen months. Actually, the unit was only supposed to be in Iraq for six months, but one night they all got drunk and the entire unit volunteered to stay an extra year. When asked by a Channel 19 reporter how it felt to see his six-month old daughter for the first time after being away for a year and a half, Harley beamed: “Now I finally know what the surprise was my wife kept writing me about.”- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane happened to all those so-called “Values Voters” on Tuesday, when social conservatives were supposed to over-run their polling places, just like they forgot to do in 2012. “It looks like all those Chick-Fil-A supporters we saw protesting Rob “Fighting for “Fagellas” Portman’s gay agenda were out to lunch,” Kane explained.
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as this brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County.
“No Explanations” by James Jay Schifrin
Nothing much happened at the Patronage County Political Headquarters Wednesday morning, except that Hereditary Party Chairman Peter Principal came out of hiding long enough to answer a few questions from the news media.
“How do explain your party’s disastrous local showing in the state-wide races?” asked Dummy Byline, political reporter for the Patronage County Innuendo.
“Our candidate or governor lost big all over the state,” Principal said. “So why is everybody blaming us?”
“Because,” pressed Byline, “the state party expected a 50,000 vote margin from Patronage County, the same as always. This year, your statewide ticket lost here by 20,000 votes.”
“Maybe people were more concerned with the economy than we thought,” Principal conceded.
“Then how do you explain Commissioner Swindle’s and your other local candidates’ winning by 100,000 votes in the same election?” asked Waldo Whitewash, fearless flack for The Compost.
“Times are tough,” Principal said. “I guess our courthouse employees wanted to keep their jobs.”
“We know we shouldn’t underestimate the clout of a courthouse machine in a local election,” Whitewash followed up, “but can they really have that much impact? How do you explain Swindle’s victory margin?”
“Well, in Swindle’s case, it was easy,” Principal said. “If all his creditorsrs had voted for him, he would’ve won by even more.”
Then the only thing local to report is that Commissioner Swindle and his cronies will be with us for four more years,” Whitewash told Byline as they headed for the nearest bar.
“Isn’t that what they said about Nixon,” Byline asked, “right before Watergate?”
This op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on November 10, 1982.
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