One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Make ‘Em Eat Crow!
Is it over? Have the people finally spoken? Every Election Day, fewer people of interest show up at the Board of Elections on Election Night. This year the food was so bad, the homeless sent it back. Maybe it was all that crow being served.- Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says now with only 362 more days until the 2014 Elections, Political Pundits are trying to figure out what Tuesday’s off-year elections imply for next year’s races.
- For one thing, Exit Polling in Virginia shows ObamaCare lost. Vulnerable DemocRATS must have watched in dismay as DemocRAT Terry McAuliffe barely clung to victory on Tuesday. The TEA Party gubernatorial candidate was way behind in the weeks leading up to the election, yet closed phenomenally in the last two weeks because of ObamaCare, despite not having Republican leadership behind him, being massively outspent, and an Obama bundler funding the “libertarian” who siphoned off at least 7% of the Republican vote. Defenseless DemocRATS are trembling at what ObamaCare will do to their races in 2014.
- Plus, Gallup says Obama’s approval has now dropped to 39% in the latest polls as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to struggle to explain his lies. Maybe that’s why Obama will be skipping the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address on November 19, because he disagrees with Abe Lincoln´s claim that you can´t fool all of the people all of the time.
Closer to home, Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory was biggest loser on Election Night. Besides watching his hand-picked successor’s record margin of loss, Cincinnati will have a new white mayor and City Clowncil will have three new white faces on December 1, — and a majority that opposes Mallory’s Trolley Folly Boondoggle. - Voter turnout for Cincinnati’s mayoral race dropped for the third straight election. Still, our Diminutive DemocRAT won in a Cran-Slide and because he promised to make short work of Mallory’s Streetcar Debacle, which will soon join the Cincinnati Subway as yet another failed mass transit boondoggle in the Queen City. Word is City Mangler Dough Boy Honey started sending out resumes months ago. Maybe they’ll give him a ride out of town on a streetcar rail.
Among those crying in their beers are Republicans for Higher Taxes. They are distraught over Roxanne’s devastating Streetcar Suppository and invite all her supporters to their blog to commiserate over their tragic loss.- John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph says it’s interesting, although not surprising, to note that Foxy Roxy and the other clueless liberals received most of their support from the deadbeat freeloaders in Over-the-Rhine, Price Hill, Avondale, Evanston, Pleasant Ridge, Kennedy Heights, etc. Too bad! I was really looking forward to riding that streetcar—if I didn’t have to pay.
- And our Lefty Neighbor we’ll Call “Dave” says “This is one election when you and I can both celebrate the results. Qualls is gone for at least four years! Maybe the city can get back to where it was when it was the best run city in America and Charterite Charlie Taft was Mayor.
And what about PG Sittenfeld? The top vote getter on Clown-cil got more votes than either Mayoral candidate. Maybe PG realizes he could’ve been a contender. This Tweet from Sittenfeld sent half The Fishwrap staff to twitter to search for the picture of Qualls’ penis.
And Litigious Lawyers from COAST had much to celebrate on Wednesday. Not only did they get their man Cranley elected Mayor, but Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney saved SMLP Smithermouth, and COAST Target “Slut for Obama” Laure “Not So” Qunilivin’ can now return to her real profession. The Blower wonders if she’ll sue the City like she sued the last employer that fired her. Just look at what one of the COASTERS did to one of her signs.- Laure “No So” Cleanlivin’ wasn’t the only former broadcaster to be kicked out of their office this week. Word is the Greedy Weasels also showed our Clear Channel Snitch Darryl Parks the door. Maybe this story has something to do with it.
- Speaking of former Clear Channel employees, one of the best things to happen on this year’s Election was the apparent resurrection of “Uncle Jay Explains the News” Videos, because so many people thought Uncle Jay was dead.
- Dan from Delhi says the Hamilton County Disingenuous DemocRAT Auditor’s son Kevin Rhodes failed to win his second attempt to become a Township Trustee. In Golf Manor, Ex-felon John M. Malott Sr. lost his bid to join the current felons on village council. In Milford, Clown-cil woman Amy Brewer blew away the competition, if you know what we mean. And winning Deer Park Clowncil-man Charlie Hassle says the worst part about getting 267 unopposed votes is that it’s now two days later, and he’s still waiting for somebody to call him to concede.
- In Anderson, Our Facebook Friend Andy Pappas says winning his historic Anderson Township Trustee Race was a great victory for the Anderson TEA Party, the real Conservative voice in Anderson Township he co-founded.
At 10 PM, Disgraced Incumbent Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien called Andy to concede and ask for a ride home after the Forest Hills Urinal’s League of Women Vipers Reporter Lisa Wakeland was forced to Tweet that The Urinal’s candidate during the past four years had received only 5.3% of the vote.
- Duffy “The Kevin Slayer” Beischel says Kevin “Spanky” O’Brien came in sixth in this five man race. Question is how dumb are the 5.3% who voted for Spanky? Aren’t they paying attention? The only vote O’Brien should have received was his own. And who were those 1,093 other dumb asses anyway? The Trustees have some green space property to sell them that would be just right for a movie theater and garage.
Also in Anderson, they should move our polling place from the church basement to the neighborhood nursing home. It would smell the same and the people who work at the polls wouldn’t have so far to go. Usually, Republican poll workers gave out stickers to Republican voters that said “I VOTED” and DemocRAT poll workers handed out stickers to the DemocRAT voters that said “I VOTED TWICE.” But on Tuesday, Precinct G in Anderson ran out of “I Voted” stickers. Precinct H didn’t even get any to begin with. Alex T. was in charge of the planning.- And did you ever wonder if all those poll workers got the same amount of money on Election Day? Shouldn’t the geezer who took 15 minutes not to find your name in the book get more than the smelly old lady whose only job seemed to be to sit next him hollering, “Could you spell your name louder?”
- And all over the Tri-State, Freeloaders Pretending to Be Veterans are wondering when The Blower will be letting them know more places to go for Free Chow on Veterans Day.
And Veterans wondering if Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman, who wanted off Romney’s VP list to protect his gay son, although we all knew about Will years before that, is officiating at the first gay marriage at West Point, say Obama is seeking to “fundamentally change America” as much as possible before giving up power. You will observe that Portman voted with the Dems to pass ENDA (Employment non-discrimination Act). This says that one an employer must legally treat someone who claims they engage in homosexual sex as a special or “suspect” category. People in these “suspect” categories are given the benefit of the doubt when claiming discrimination in hiring, promotions, and just feeling uncomfortable, not to mention all the new stuff they and their ambulance-chasing lawyers can get a Liberal Federal like Mr$ $tan Che$ley to award them.
It is interesting that the previous “suspect” categories were easily distinguished. Skin color, disability, sex. Now the radicals seek to add “homosexual activity” to the list. How would an employer even know an employee’s proclivities unless he/she/it told everyone? Under the radicals ENDA legislation, any “fill in the blank wierdo” can sue for damages that he/she/it felt discriminated and the presumption is in favor of the one in the suspect category and against the foolish entrepreneur trying to build a business who hired them.
Thank you, Sherrod Portman.
Maybe that’s why State Rep-tile John Becker has come out of the closet. He has exposed his Liberal side and made the case for non-traditional marriage. The following is from the October issue of “The Becker Report”:
I’m going to pretend to be a Liberal and argue the case in favor of multiple varieties of creative marriages. I’m using arguments that people have e-mailed me or that I have read in the media. The arguments are nearly identical in each case. However, the inter-species argument is unique and may take more convincing.
Homosexual Marriage: It’s all about love. If two people love each other then why shouldn’t they have the same rights to marry as opposite sex people? Its prohibition is an unconstitutional discrimination and a violation of equal justice under the law. And besides, it doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage and is none of anybody else’s business. If you disagree, you’re a hate monger and a bigot.
Sibling Marriage: It’s all about love. If two people love each other then why shouldn’t they have the same rights to marry as other people? Its prohibition is an unconstitutional discrimination and a violation of equal justice under the law. And besides, it doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage and is none of anybody else’s business. They can choose to adopt children or accept whatever special needs children that they may choose to have. The government is very generous with the taxpayers’ money and will pay for the additional social services that may be required. If you disagree, you’re a hate monger and a bigot.
Parent and Adult Child Marriage: It’s all about love. If two people love each other then why shouldn’t they have the same rights to marry as other people? Its prohibition is an unconstitutional discrimination and a violation of equal justice under the law. And besides, it doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage and is none of anybody else’s business. They can choose to adopt children or accept whatever special needs children that they may choose to have. The government is very generous with the taxpayers’ money and will pay for the additional social services that may be required. If you disagree, you’re a hate monger and a bigot.
Polygamy: It’s all about love. If people love each other then why shouldn’t they have the same rights to marry as other people? Its prohibition is an unconstitutional discrimination and a violation of equal justice under the law. If a homosexual and a bi-sexual were to marry, the bi-sexual’s other partner would be disenfranchised. And besides, it doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage and is none of anybody else’s business. If you disagree, you’re a hate monger and a bigot.
Inter-Species Marriage: Some people have argued that animals can’t give consent and therefore cannot form a legal marriage. I believe this to be narrow-minded. Do you remember a gorilla named Koko? The evidence is clear that Koko can think, communicate, and therefore give consent to an inter-species marriage. Other animals have also shown similar levels of intelligence. It’s all about love. If a human and a member of a different species love each other, then why shouldn’t they have the same rights to marry as same species humans? It doesn’t affect anybody else’s marriage. Besides that, what a farmer does in the privacy of his own barn, with his own cattle, is none of anybody else’s business. If you disagree, you’re a hate monger and a bigot.
You can read all about it in the October “Becker Report.”
According to State Reptile John Becker’s Facebook page this morning, out in Union Township, Clermont County there was “ a TEA Party earthquake” out there during Tuesday’s election. The TEA Party candidates took a controlling majority on the West Clermont School Board and a controlling majority on the Union Township Board of Trustees. We’re told this will likely spell the end of employment for all of the people at UT who brought that community TQL and Jungle Jim’s and leaves the future of the planned Children’s Hospital development in limbo. The two candidates who won seats on the Board of Trustees were backed heavily by the TEA Party which does not support the economic tools used to bring these employers to that community. One of the two winners was Lloyd Acres, who was hand-picked to run last time by his good friend Archie Wilson. If he shares the same views as the Archster, Union Township residents need to buckle their seat belts for a bumpy ride, if you know what we mean.- Over at the West Clermont School Board, the top vote getter was Jim Lewis, whose past e-mail rants about various social issues will surely get him into hot water perhaps before he is even sworn into office. Lewis has already sent out an e-mail to supporters following the election in which he declared an end to the Common Core curriculum in the District and a desire to bust up spending on teacher salaries in the district.
And just as The Blower predicted, our Clermont Crusader confirms “Mean Jean” Schmidt will win that prestigious Martha Dorsey Archie Wilson/ Mary Walker Pacemaker Award from the Clermont County Chamber of Commerce. This award is always presented to a past public official whose actions have brought shame and dishonor to Clermont County and whose accomplishments have brought unfavorable attention to the community, in no particular order. - Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston says, “Hey, you rotten bastard! As soon as the dust settles from Tuesday’s Election, maybe The Blower could set its sights on all the redevelopment going on in Roselawn, where we need to hear more about “Shakedown Steve” Reese’s vast real estate holdings
Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as this brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. [READ MORE HERE]- Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders why the local news media didn’t cover all those elections in Northern Kentucky on Tuesday.
- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S BRIBE LUNCH AT THE HIBACHI GRILL & BUFFET, a Political Consultant asked our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower would be sorry they wouldn’t be having Whacky Jacky O’Brien’s Illegitimate Son Kevin to kick around, now that The Blower had finally driven his scandal-plagued ass from office. “Let’s face it,” Kane explained, “anybody who thinks we’ll ever forgive and forget is sadly mistaken. They obviously need to be reminded of our Beloved Whistleblower Motto. And that goes double for Kevin’s enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal.
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