Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

• Now that it’s October, where do get our Free ObamaCare that Obama promised on the ObamaCare website?— Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters 
• So what if Disgraceful DemocRATS are throwing a Government Shutdown Party, slamming Republicans over the budget and potential government shutdown by asking for contributions to the Democratic Party of up to $2,000? —Obama’s Vice President Joe Biden
• Each of us will all be making himself totally available for TV interviews 24/7 throughout the entire Shutdown Crisis. —Bi-Partisan Members of Congress
• And we kept sending out past due notices to everybody who hadn’t donated his $5 before Monday night’s midnight deadline. —Obama’s Organizing for Obama Organization
• This week, as the ObamaCare debate raged on Obama lowered himself to a level rarely, if ever, seen in American politics, way beneath the dignity of his office. —Judge Jeanine Pirro
• Now that Obama has already used words like “Terrorists” and “Extremists, will The Blower be sponsoring a contest for Liberals to see who can come up with the vilest-and-most disgusting terms to brand Republicans? —Noxious Namecallers
• Obama’s signature legislation was written by a committee whose own chairman didn’t understand it, passed by a Congress that didn’t read it, who then exempted themselves. —Filibustering TEA Party Republican Senator Ted Cruz
• So what if my DemocRAT-controlled Senate didn’t hold a Sunday vote on that GOP bill to keep the government open and unravel Obamacare? — Disingenuous DemocRAT Senate Majority Leader Dingy Harry Reid 
• Yesterday, everybody was waiting to see me cave in to Obama and the DemocRATS on the Government Shutdown, just like I’ve always done in the past.  –Republican House Speaker John Boehner
• Yesterday, we could hardly wait until midnight so Obama and the DemocRATS could shut down the government so we could blame it on the Republicans. –Obama Supporters in the Press
• Please don’t worry. I will still be paid during the Government Shutdown along with Obama and Congress. –Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
• And of course, we’ll all be getting our back pay for any time we didn’t work during the Government Shutdown. —Furloughed Federal Workers
• When Johnny Carson made his “Tonight Show” debut on this date in 1962, he didn’t have any Government Shutdown Jokes to do. –Jay Leno
• That’s why we chose Nutty Nancy Pelosi’s “We’ll have to pass the law to find out what’s in it.” –Quote for the Day Committee
• Jimmy Carter was born on this date in 1924. —Hurley the Historian
• How did you like the way we mocked Obama’s ObamaCare Rollout? –Saturday Night Live
• Does anybody remember the 1995 Government Shutdown when that sweet young Monica Lewinsky gave me my first Government Shutdown Blowjob in the Oval Office. —Disgraced DemocRAT Former Pant’s Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton
• Investors probably wish we’d shut down on Monday too. –The Stock Market
• How many voters would like to shut down Cincinnati’s Streetcar Project?  –Foxy Roxy Qualls and Her Rubber Stampers on Clown-cil
• There will be no government shutdown at the Hamilton County Board of Elections where October First is the official beginning of Early Voter Fraud Season for all Good Democrats and Dishonest DemocRATS who are still alive. —Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
• If Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters was shut down, how would anybody tell the difference? —RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
• My Special Prosecutors are still trying to find a way to shut down Ditzy DemocRAT Traci Hunter’s Juvenile Courtroom in Hamilton County. —JayWalking Joe Deters
• We didn’t have any problems shutting down the Bungals on Sunday. –The Lowly Cleveland Browns
• Neither did we during those three games last weekend when we swept Dusty’s Little Red Machine. –The Pittsburgh Pirates
• Why do they have to shut down the government? Everybody should just give ObamaCare a chance?–Feckless Fishwrappers
• The only thing worse than the government shutting down would be the government not shutting down. –Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
• Please ask Obama with all due respect, if his health care plan is so great, why he isn’t enrolled in it. That way he could lead by example. —Kentucky’s Junior Republican Senator Rand Paul
• Conservatives are blaming spineless Senate Republicans who voted for cloture last week. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• Hey wait a minute. Just because I voted to allow the Senate to vote save ObamaCare, it doesn’t mean I was stabbing Republican in the back. —Kentucky’s Senile Senator Bitch McConnell
• WTF? —McConnell’s Primary Opponent Matt Bevin
• Deranged DemocRATS believe forcing young people to buy health insurance will cover the health care costs of the additional 30 million people, without adding a single doctor? —Bluegrass Governor Steve BeShear
• Please don’t DemocRATS promised ObamaCare would lower premiums for families by $2,500, that no one would have to change his doctor, and you could keep your current plan, all without hurting hurt jobs? — DemocRAT Senate Candidate Alison Wundergams Grimes
• When somebody gets arrested for forgetting to buy his ObamaCare insurance, will that be a felony or only a misdemeanor? —Our Good Fried Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
• How much bigger will my hoosegow have to be? —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
• Are you sure they’ll be shutting down the government in Kentucky, too? —Trish the Dish on Channel 19 News
• I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to ask why if the Government Shutdown is such an emergency, why did the Senate DemocRATS take Sunday off?  —Ben Swann

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        Sometimes The Blower ridicules Disingenuous DemocRATs to show that blaming Republicans for trying to shut down the government is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t using the DemocRAT National Party Playbook.

 This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially New York Times subscribers.

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN HOT LINE

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WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

CHAOS: Obamacare to Collapse American Society!

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