Monday, September 30, 2013

Today Is The Last Monday in September

And Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says everybody in Washington is doing the Government Shutdown Dance:

Last week John Boehner’s House Republicans dared to defy Obama and passed a bill that would continue funding the government at current spending levels for nearly three months, but would strip money appropriated to fund ObamaCare. Then Harry Reid’s Senate DemocRATS stripped the defund language from the continuing resolution, and three the hot potato back to the House. Saturday night, House Republicans amended the temporary spending bill that would avert a government shutdown to include a delay of ObamaCare by one year, and sent the bill back to the Senate, where DemocRATS have threatened to reject it, and Obama has promised to veto it, when he comes in from the golf course, while Obama’s OFA Organization keeps busy dunning people for $5 donations before the big fundraising deadline on September 30.

Which makes it look like come Tuesday morning, we might actually have one of those government shutdowns people in Washington always threaten, but never follow through with, while all Members of Congress have agreed to make themselves available for TV interviews 24/7 throughout the Shutdown Crisis.

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.”

Hurley the Historian says on this day in 1918, President Woodrow Wilson gave a speech to Congress in support of Women’s Suffrage, because although the House of Representatives had approved a 19th constitutional amendment giving the right to vote, the Senate had yet to vote on the measure.

The Blame Game Has Already Begun

And in true Liberal fashion, so has the noxious name calling. Obama has already branded House Republicans “Terrorists” and “Extremists.” Disgraceful DemocRAT Senator Barbara Mikulski railed against “Tea Baggers” (a crude sexual slang for a man dangling his balls into another person’s mouth) from the Senate Floor after the CR Vote. Top Obama Adviser Dan Pfeiffer compared Republicans to “Suicide Bombers.” And Liberal Bloggers wanted to see Republican Senator Ted Cruz murdered. Saturday night on Twitter, DemocRAT Congressman Jim Moran even complained about having to work on the weekend.

Conservatives are blaming spineless Senate Republicans who voted for cloture on the House CR bill and Anderson TEA Party Patriots say Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell is a prime specimen of a newly identified species of invertebrates called “Spine-No Maximus” which speak like Conservatives but vote like big-government progressives.

Now Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddle” fans are just waiting to see if one of our distinguished gentlemen calls folks on the other side of the aisle such names rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.

The Blower Can Hardly Wait

How soon will we start hearing all those Government Shutdown Jokes? “Saturday Night Live” has already mocked Obama’s ObamaCare Rollout last week, devoting the entire opening skit to ridiculing Obama’s signature healthcare law. Watch it here.

The Blower can’t stop thinking about what happened during the 1995 government shutdown. That’s when Disgraced DemocRAT Former Pant’s Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton got his first blow job from Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office.

But as an Online Commenter points out: the association between any pending government shutdown and that of the wanton lasciviousness as hallmark of a lecherous, utterly flawed being that we have come to expect of Bill Clinton, is certainly questionable, specious at best. But any time is a good time to ravage a man so very much deserved of our never-ending enmity, contempt.

In Cincinnati, everybody’s wondering which will be the bigger story Tuesday morning— the Federal Government Shutdown or the Cincinnati Reds’ final road trip to Pittsburgh this year for Dusty’s Little Reds Machine’s one-and-done Wild Card Playoff Game. We can hardly wait to see the front page of The Fishwrap.

Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all those complaints we’re likely to hear during the upcoming Government Shutdown. “If you think you’ve heard people complaining before,” Kane explained, “just wait until all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters figure out that Free Health Care they think Obama promised them won’t really be free, because now, during the next 1,207 days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, they have a government they truly deserve. Unfortunately, so do the rest of us.”

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN HOT LINE

E-mail more of your doom and gloom predictions today

Some government shutdown favoring items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally government shutdown favoring subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

Whistleblower Link of the Day

Judge Jeanine Calls Out Obama For Smack Talking Fox News

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.