Friday, September 27, 2013
ObamaCare Update
In the next few days, politicians in Washington, D.C., will do and say many things to make it look and sound as if they are against ObamaCare when in fact they are ultimately planning to use the power that has been vested in them by the people of their districts and states to ensure that ObamaCare is funded and implemented. But make no mistake: If ObamaCare is funded and implemented it will be because Republican members of Congress decided to do it. This is not a debatable supposition. It is an irrefutable fact. The fate of ObamaCare is controlled completely by Republicans — period.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, who suddenly has a lot of new best friends offering to buy his lunch after Tom Bockerstette of Westwood implied in a letter to the editor that the outrageous $120,000 settlement COAST recently received from the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools (as well as that $512,000 from the City of Cincinnati) should’ve been deposited directly into our good friend “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman’s bank account.
And because our The Old TaxKiller swears on a stack of Bibles that he didn’t pocket any of the cash from those big judgments COAST has been awarded lately since 100% of the money went to his litigious lawyers, The Blower, which also never takes a dime for trying to make our community a better place to live, is pleased to permit Tom Brinkman as our guest editor to chose three items plus a quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists.
TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE PLAN By Dr. Brad Wenstrup
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles ®.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.”
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is …. Embalming.
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little Ms on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’VE JOINED OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE PLAN is… You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct
tape.
HOW THE BLACK FOLK HAS HELPED THE ECONOMY By Rufus Redneck
What people don’t realize is how the black folk grew our economy higher than it could ever have grown without them. Here’s an example: When blacks moved into the white areas in the 60s, they acted like fools with their “jiving” and “jacking around” and the whites didn’t want to live around that shit, so they worked two jobs and sold their houses and moved away to the suburbs, and built new houses and the forest and lumber industries grew and the hardware stores grew and millions of dollars surged into the economy building new roads so the whites could get to work from their new houses.
Then the blacks started robbing and stealing because they were stupid and unqualified for jobs because they “jived around” at school instead of learning and the whites had to buy replacement stuff and the economy grew even stronger.
Since the blacks were unemployed they started hanging around and drinking malt liquor and the malt liquor makers had to expand and add more workers so the economy grew stronger again.
The blacks started shooting people and the hospitals grew and new ones were built and more cops, nurses and doctors were required. People had to buy guard dogs and security alarm companies grew stronger. Pet stores then sprung up everywhere to sell stuff for the guard dogs.
Then the blacks were thrown into jail and new jails had to be built and more guards were hired and the economy grew even stronger than before.
Then the DemoicRATS created Welfare, so all the blacks went on Welfare and the whites had to work harder to support them, and the economy grew stronger. Then the blacks bought fancy cars and the auto industry grew and TV makers were thrilled cause they could produce shows like “Cops” and “Most Wanted,” and whites bought more guns and lots and lots of ammunition to keep the blacks out of their shit, so gun manufacturing jobs grew.
So you see, we owe a lot to the black folk, so stop being so prejudiced!
Funny, it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, etc., etc., but it’s insensitive to make jokes about black people. The sooner we are all on same level playing field the better.
YOU MAY BE A MUSLIM By Jeff Foxworthy
If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, you may be a Muslim.- If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, you may be a Muslim.
- If you have more wives than teeth, you may be a Muslim.
- If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, you may be a Muslim.
- If you think vests come in two styles (Bullet-proof and suicide), you may be a Muslim
- If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against, you may be a Muslim.
- If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, you may be a Muslim.
- If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, you may be a Muslim.
- If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, you may be a Muslim.
- And if you find this offensive or racist and don’t forward it, you may be a Muslim.
AND A QUICKIE By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” And that’s how the fight started…..
Stories We’re Working On
Countdown to Government Shutdown: T-Minus Three Days and Counting- Obama Admits, “We Did Raise Taxes On Some Things”
- ObamaCare Continues To Destroy Everything In Its Path
- Bill Clinton Claims Chelsea Would Make A Good President!
- Deters’ Special Prosecutors Want to Go to Hawaii Too
- Matt Bevin Blasts Mitch McConnell on ObamaCare
- Reds Finally Nail Down Third Place
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said you should never believe media polls:
(A) Rigged Questions: 2%
(B) Paid-Off Pollsters: 1%
(C) Hand-Picked Respondents: 1%
(D) Liberal Media Bias: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
More Conservative Political Cartoons
Playoff Pressures
This week, everybody who wonders why Dusty’s Little Red Machine is leading the league for not scoring with the bases loaded, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is long-time Cincinnati Reds fan Farley Fairweather, who remembers when baseball players cared about the game, instead of just their fat paychecks. Farley wins a pennant from 1919, when the Reds won their first World Series, but only because the Chicago Black Sox threw the games; 477 marked-down sweatshirts from the Reds Over-priced Apparel and Merchandise Store, and his name entered in the lottery of people who may be picked to receive a refund for their Reds Playoff and World Series tickets. His winning limerick is:
When the Reds don’t clinch the pennant this year
And we are all crying in our beer
We will see it is tough
When you say, “close enough,”
And then we will hope for next year.
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall writes
When the Reds don’t clinch the pennant this year
We’d all hoped they‘d gotten it in gear
But pitchers gave games away
And hitters forgot how to play,
It’s going to be another short post-season, I fear.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):
When the Reds don’t clinch the pennant this year
What a shame the Old Left-Hander wasn’t here.
Ol’ Joe and Marty
Made each game a party
And now Nux is in heaven having a beer.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“The best part of shutting the government down”
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN HOT LINE
E-mail your doom and gloom predictions today
Some wishful items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally wishful subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
If Millionaire Celebrities Can Afford ObamaCare, Why Can’t You?
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
