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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Today the Countdown to Shutdown is T-Minus Five Days and Counting

AMERICANS OPPOSE CONGRESSIONAL EXEMPTION: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says there’s a movement growing to repeal that outrageous ObamaCare Exemption for Congress. The Weekly Standard reports the poll data is clear and cuts across party lines. 92% of the public does not think it’s right that Congress and their staff are letting the Obama administration exempt them from the costs of ObamaCare. Yet it seems many in Congress still want to dismiss these findings in hopes that these sentiments won’t translate into actual voter preferences. Incumbents facing reelections shouldn’t fool themselves. A recent real-world deployment of the issue shows it can powerfully impact candidates’ prospects. Nebraska Republican Senate Candidate Ben Sasse says, “Can these people be more out of touch?”

Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup claims he’s received nearly 5,000 signatures on his petition to end the special congressional exemption from ObamaCare at NoSpecialPass.com. But how many of those signatures were from those other 534 “Special People” in Congress?

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1789, the first Congress of the United States approved the Bill of Rights, and sent it to the states for ratification. It’s been all downhill for America since then. Public approval of Congress now sits an all-time low, so that means all of the incumbents will be voted out, right? Unfortunately, The Blower says don’t count on it.
THAT’S WHY YOUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
OBAMA’S ORGANIZING FOR ACTION says all Obama Supporters have an important part to play to keep the government from shutting down at the end of the month. Even more important is the September 30 reporting deadline for donations.
RINO ALERT: In Tuesday’s “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” Real Republican U.S. Senate Candidate Matt Bevin was really ahead of the curve when he wrote, “I can hardly wait to see if Bitch McConnell uses all procedural tactics available to prevent Disingenuous DemocRAT Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid from setting up an amendment to strip the House language on ObamaCare.” That was right before McConnell stabbed TEA Party Patriots in the back, announcing he would NOT join an effort in the Senate to block a House-passed spending bill that defunds ObamaCare. So naturally, Texas Senator Ted Cruz’ non-filibuster filibuster defending defunding ObamaCare is already underway.
ISN’T IT FUNNY that the ObamaCare consumers will finally be able to sign up for next week, is a long way from the health plan Obama first pitched to the nation? Millions of low-income Americans won’t receive coverage. Many workers at small businesses won’t get a choice of insurance plans right away. Large employers won’t need to provide insurance for another year. Far more states than expected won’t run their own insurance marketplaces. And a growing number of workers won’t get to keep their employer-provided coverage. Do you think all our Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama-Supporers will ever notice the difference?
CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHLIN fired off a missile at The Fishwrap after reading Tuesday’s idiotorial: “Budget Tantrum is Irresponsible.”

Stu says, You write, in part: “In the case of the Affordable Care Act [ ], our democracy worked the way it’s supposed to.” Clearly, your heads are filled with fascist mush; our Republic and its Constitution were raped by the DemocRATS and not one bystander came to its aid. Heavy-handed rule by a self-appointed oligarchy is what we now have — a “democracy” like those in third world places like Cuba and Venezuela — no thanks to the Fourth Estate (which now prints its propaganda on rolls of TP).

FIRED FORMER FISHWRAPER BARRETT BRUNSMAN, now reporting in the Business Crapper, says Reds Team Doctor Tim Kremchek claims he personally sees 15,000 patients a year and operates on 1,000 of them. Check your math, Brunsman! That means he would have to average more than three operations a day and see 41 patients each day, 365 days per year. Knowing doctors don’t actually work 365 days a year, it’s probable that Dr. Kremchek can only see patients for about minutes, but still charges their insurance companies a boatload of money.
DISHONOR AMONG THIEVES: In a September 16 letter to The Fishwrap, Tom Bockerstette of Westwood implied that the outrageous $120,000 settlement COAST recently received from the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools should’ve been deposited directly into our good friend “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman’s bank account. This was on top of the $512,000 COAST received from the City of Cincinnati in a case before Federal Court Judge “Masturbating Mike” Barrett two weeks earlier. Taxkiller says, “The Fishwrap never should have printed the letter that accused me of pocketing all the cash from those big judgments COAST has been awarded lately. It was not opinion, the letter called me a thief. I am not a thief, my attorneys are the thieves.”
TRACI GOES HAWAIIAN: Fearless Fishwrapper KimBall Perry says Disgraced DemocRAT Juvenile Court Judge Traci Hunter isn’t letting a little thing like a potential contempt finding for not resolving cases in a timely manner stop her from closing her court and spending $3,200 in over-taxed payers’ money on a trip to Hawaii. Defending the Ditzy Dem, Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka said with a straight face, “Being at a conference does not mean she’s not working on her caseload.” Our Snitch in the Hamilton County Prosecutor’s Office (probably not “JayWalking Joe” Deters) said, “How can she be doing her work in Hawaii? She’s damn well not doing it here!”

IN ANDERSON, everybody’s excited about watching Republican Endorsed Township Trustee Candidate Andy Pappas’s latest video ad ushering in a new chapter in Anderson Leadership. It’s even better than Andy’s first video.
PATTY BRISBEN’S DILDO WORLD is moving its Corporate Headquarters to Downtown Cincinnati, in spite of being rejected for tax credits from the state of Ohio. The decision was all about ego and visibility. In Cincinnati you get to put your dildo on the building everybody will see from the expressway. Plus, both our mayoral candidates Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley and Extremely Liberal DemocRAT Foxy Roxy Qualls Roxy have agreed to wear dildos at all their campaign functions. Cranley says as long as he’s going to get bitch slapped by Roxy, he might as well get some enjoyment out of it. Clown-gay Chris Squealback is wondering if they’ll come out with some Pure Bro-mance products for him and his lovers. And Whistleblower readers will never forget when Disgraced former Cincinnati Mayor Jerry Springer used to pay prostitutes in Northern Kentucky to strap on a dildo and stick it where the sun don’t shine. Springer says he’ll be glad to endorse Patty’s Dildos too.

In a related item, Fetished Fishwrapper Cindi Andrews has been all over the Dildo World story and Dildo World has been all over her. Recently she listed all of the sex toy business’ many products with such intimate knowledge, we are thinking they must have given her some free samples. Not only did she mention the battery operated devices in her article on-line, but she also listed all of the lotions, gloss, spray, cream and lubricants. The favorite: fur-lined handcuffs. From the slant of her stories portraying the world’s largest suppliers of dildos as just a poor struggling business getting slighted by those mean nasty conservative Republicans, Patty Brisben’s son must have been personally demonstrating those fur-lined handcuffs on her.

GAY NEWS UPDATE: Whistleblower Alternate Life-Style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis wonder why that Dean Regas guy from the Observatory got so giddy on Facebook about getting to hang out last weekend with Gay Star Trek Celebrity George Takei and hear him say “Oh myyy?” And why would somebody be a “Jack Horkheimer Wannabe” anyway? That dead PBS host gave a whole new meaning to the term Star Gay-zer.
FECKLESS AT THE FISHWRAP: Loony Libertarian Jim Berns says as usual, Fishwrappers Carl Weiser and Jane Prendergast missed an important issue in Cincinnati’s $400,000 September Mayoral Primary Election on September 10, where the record low turnout cost the over-taxed payers $34.79 per-vote. Berns says the Fumbling Fishwrappers forgot to ask John Cranley if he’d pledge to eliminate wasteful Mayoral Primaries if he’s elected. At least it would give them something to write about during the next 41 days until the November 5 election. Maybe they could use this screw-up in their stand-up comedy act at the Society for Unprofessional Journalists Inaugural Journalism Cabaret on October 9.
WHISTLEBLOWER INTERNS Rachel, Bradley, Ashley, and Hunter say 22 years ago, when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, Issue # 70 published on September 24, 1991 including an item where the Whistleblower was standing by the accuracy of its reporting.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS EDITOR ANDY FURBALL says players on Dusty’s Little Reds Machine weren’t high-fiving all over the locker room for backing into the playoffs as a wild card team after their finally beating the Mets Monday night, because it meant only that Reds fans would be treated to one more game against Pittsburgh this year. The only question is now, will it be an away game on TV?

IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says according to Politico, somewhere between the cart hawking hamburgers stuffed between Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a display of world championship horses, Kentucky state employees were trying to sell ObamaCare at the Kentucky State Fair. They handed out 20,000 tote bags labeled with the website and phone number of the exchange, which the state is calling Kynect. They hoped that residents will check out the insurance plans on the website, or, even better, sign up for coverage starting Oct. 1. But in Kentucky, as in much of the country, confusion reigns about Obama’s signature domestic legislation. And not even 20,000 tote bags can solve that.

Kentucky’s Fourth District Congressman Thomas Massie had to postpone a town hall meeting scheduled for Thursday in Union in case he was needed in Washington to shut down the federal government.

The Vanilla Hills Vigilante says all those health nuts and do-gooders are always looking for a bike trail here or a street lane painted for them but nobody ever suggests a license plate or a fee from these people to offset the costs of their hobby. The Blower suggests these freeloaders start paying like everybody else does! Also traffic laws should also apply to bikes. Get with it, bike-riders or drag it over in the gravel!!!

At Kevin Sell’s Campbell County Judge Executive Candidate’s Monday Night Football event on October 14 at Longneck’s Sports Grill in Wilder, Kevin promises several Wilder Women will be on hand.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s e-mail claiming he’s received nearly 5,000 signatures on his petition to end the special congressional exemption from ObamaCare at NoSpecialPass.com.

Lt. Colonel Wenstrup also claimed “this is a matter of fundamental fairness and decency. In the Army, the officers don’t step in front of the enlisted men and women in the chow line, and Congress shouldn’t be stepping to the front of the line on ObamaCare.” “Is he nuts?” Private First Class Kane (retired) exclaimed. “That’s not the U.S. Army I remember the entire two years, nine months, one day, eleven hours, fifty-two-minutes and twelve seconds I was in it.”

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