Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
It looks like the federal government could be shutting down. The legal definition of a government shutdown is when Congress continues not to work, but they do it from home. —Jay Leno- That’s why the number of days till the October 1 Government Shutdown is now being featured at the lower right hand corner on this page. —Clarence, The Whistleblower Countdown Clock Operator
- Republicans in Congress need to “Defund ObamaCare” this week. TEA Partiers forced John Boehner to do his job in the House. Now those gutless-and-rudderless GOP Senators need to follow Texas Senator Ted Cruz and his liberty-loving posse on Capitol Hill who’ve led the charge to defund Obama’s train wreck. It’s time for them to woman up, stand your ground, and fight like a girl. —Sarah Palin
- That’s why we chose Mark Twain’s “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
- Did anybody read our latest column where we hid the fact that ObamaCare will severely limit your choice of doctors? —Obama Supporters at the New York Times
It’s time for all federal workers to enroll in ObamaCare, especially Chief Justice John Roberts whose insane ruling is making it all possible. —Kentucky Senator Rand Paul- I can hardly wait to see if Bitch McConnell uses all procedural tactics available to prevent Disingenuous DemocRAT Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid from setting up an amendment to strip the House language on ObamaCare. — Real Republican U.S. Senate Candidate Matt Bevin
- Please don’t ask why the president will negotiate with all of our enemies overseas but not the Republicans in Congress. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
- This week is really huge. Not only does John Boehner have seven days to find a way to stand up to the extreme plan to shut down the government over ObamaCare, but we’re also facing the most important quarterly fundraising deadline in our organization’s short history. —Obama’s Organizers for Action
- Sunday’s idiotorial urges all of our Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama-Supporting readers to be Politically Correct and “Give ObamaCare a Chance.” No kidding! —Feckless Fishwrappers
Yesterday we rounded up some of our usual suspects so we could show you what you thought about “Defunding ObamaCare. —Whistleblower Focus Group- Is it only a coincidence that a grocery store that changed its name to the Obama Express has been charged with Food Stamp Fraud? —Ironic Ike
- How disgraceful was it when Obama made a speech at the Memorial Service for Navy Yard Shooting Victims to attack Republicans and campaign for Gun Control? —Twelve Victims’ Families
- Thanks for including my website and campaign video in Sunday’s e-dition. —Eric Gurr, opposing John Boehner in Ohio’s 8th Congressional District in 2014.
- On this date in 1789 the Supreme Court was established, and the Founding Fathers could’ve never imagined what kind of community organizers Obama would’ve appointed so far. —Hurley the Historian
Unfortunately, I won’t have any shrimp at my big book-signing party for “Founding Zealots” tonight at the Anderson Center, but the food will be from Funky’s Catering and the beer and wine will be cold and free (please don’t tell Anderson CFO Ken “Just One More Budweiser, Please” Dietz!). —Conservative Author Tom Hagedorn- After watching Sunday’s fumble-fest, now you understand why some people call my team the Bungals. —Marvin Lewis
- Thanks To Mr. Sulu’s Chicken Choking Dance, last weekend was the gayest Oktoberfest in history. —Cincinnati Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback
- How could it be? I was still in Munich. —Cincinnati’s Girl Mayor Mark Mallory
- Stink Bugs have arrived in Cincinnati just as we’re gearing up for the last six weeks of our campaigns. What a coincidence! —Cincinnati Clown-cil Candidates
- Defunding ObamaCare is really keeping Kentucky Senators’ names in the news. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
- Nathan “Cornbread” Smith promised all the TV cameras would be covering last weekend’s fund-raiser, just like the one he had for Hillary in 2008. —Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes
I always prefer Oktoberfest on Mainstrasse in Covington more because at the one in Downtown Cincinnati last weekend not as many girls showed you their big beautiful American breasts. —Floyd Schnitzelflogger- TV call-in news polls showed 30% of viewers with nothing better to do, thought next year’s Oktoberfest should be alcohol-free. Hello out there, people. It’s a beer fest. —Oktoberfest Organizers
- What’s the biggest difference between Black History Month and Oktoberfest? During Oktoberfest everybody wants to be German. —Trash Talker Bill Cunningham, WLW Hate Radio
- At Oktoberfest, gay German-Americans learned a new way to “goose-step.” —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
- Did you see where the winner of the Pepto-Bismo World Bratwurst-Eating Championship could only eat 42 bratwursts in a whole ten minutes? —Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
- I hope everybody saw pictures of my favorite client Sarah Jones included in the The Fishwrap’s photo gallery of “Ben-Gals Through the Years.” —Crazy Eric” Deters
- Can you explain how the Reds figure out their “Magic Number” one last time? —Trish the Dish on Channel 19 News
- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Maybe I need to ask why that CNN Anchorbabe said the Founding Fathers would oppose Defunding ObamaCare.” —Ben Swann
More Conservative Political Cartoons
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Sometimes The Blower ridicules Disingenuous DemocRATs to show that blaming Republicans for trying to shut down the government is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t using the DemocRAT National Party Playbook.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially New York Times subscribers.
DEFUNDING OBAMACARE HOT LINE
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Some long-winded items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally long-winded subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
Judge Jeanine Pirro – Opening Statement – Destroys Obama, Navy Yard Shooting, Obamacare – 9/21/13
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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