— Official “Yom Kippur” E-dition —

Saturday, September 14, 2013

And A Lot of People Need to Atone This Year

image005Yom Kippur began last night at sundown and today is the most holy day of the year in the Jewish religion. It’s the time each year Jews are supposed to fast for an entire day and ask God to forgive them for all their transgressions during the previous year, especially all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Jews who voted for Obama in 2008 and, would you believe— again in 2012.

  • BARACK OBAMA, WARRIOR PRESIDENT, who’s already ruined the country and will still have 1,224 more days remaining in office unless he’s impeached, will never atone.
  • HILLARY CLINTON, who’s still covering up her role in the murder of Ambassador Christopher Stevens, Glen Doherty, Sean Smith and Ty Woods in Benghazi, still hasn’t atoned.
  • image007HURLEY THE HISTORIAN, who says on this date in 1901, U.S. President William McKinley died after being shot by a deranged anarchist during the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo, still hasn’t atoned.
  • SO-CALLED REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS LIKE HOUSE SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER AND SENILE SENATOR JOHN McRINO, who can’t stop caving in to Obama, still haven’t atoned.
  • CONGRESSMAN “BRONZE STAR BRAD” WENSTRUP, who waited until after Obama wussed out on attacking Syria before he said he was against it, still hasn’t atoned.
  • image008OHIO REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR KASICH-TAYLOR, who won’t come up with the money so Dildo World can move all those jobs to Cincinnati, still hasn’t atoned.
  • THE CINCINNATI REDS, who’ve left so many runners in scoring position on base that they can only guaranteed fans one game in this year’s playoffs, still have fifteen more games to atone.
  • FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS, who continue to try to sell us the stupid idea that It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made America great, it’s our “Diversity,” still haven’t atoned.
  • ROB “FIGHTING FOR FAGELLAS” PORTMAN, who came out in support of gay marriage after he learned his son was afflicted with the gayness, wishes he could find some way to atone.
  • image010HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY BOSS ALEX T., MALL COP GOP, who guaranteed Cincinnati will have a Disingenuous DemocRAT Mayor for the next eight years by not even putting up a candidate, still hasn’t atoned.
  • DISGUISED DEMOCRAT JOHN CRANLEY AND EXTREMELY LIBERAL DEMOCRAT FOXY ROXY QUALLS, who cost Cincinnati Overtaxed payers $400,000 (which worked out to $34.79 per vote) for their meaningless Cincinnati Mayoral Primary, still haven’t atoned.
  • LOONY LIBERTARIAN JIM BERNS, who duped all those gullible Negro Potheads with tomato plants instead of marijuana during his ill-fated mayoral campaign, still hasn’t atoned.
  • QUEEN NOBLE, who says, “What do I need to motherfucking atone for, Bitch?,” still hasn’t atoned.
  • image012CINCINNATI CITY MANGLER MILTON DOUGH BOY HONEY, who got a second opportunity to hire an effective police chief after bringing Disgraced Former Fourteen-Star Police Chief James Craig to Cincinnati from Los Angeles by way of Portland, Maine on his way to Detroit, still hasn’t atoned.
  • LAWYERS AT STRAUSS TROY, who say they will always remember every word on the City of Cincinnati’s Secret Document the judge told them to destroy, still haven’t atoned.
  • LAWYERS IN THE CITY SOLICITOR’S OFFICE, who screwed up big time by releasing that super secret memorandum to the lawyers for Duke Energy and now claim it wasn’t their fault, still haven’t atoned.
  • image013LITIGIOUS LAWYERS AT COAST, who’ve just deposited $512,000 from the City of Cincinnati and another $120,612 from the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools and loudly proclaim “It’s about good government, not just about the money,” still haven’t atoned.
  • THE CINCINNATI POPS, for not including Whistleblower Alternative Lifestyle Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis in that really gay science fiction program next week featuring Flaming Star Treker George Takei and Jack Horkheimer Wannabe Dean Regas from the Cincinnati Observatory, still haven’t atoned.
  • WHISTLEBLOWER GOSSIP COLUMNIST LINDA LIBEL, who still hasn’t identified that well-known Greater Cincinnatian who “likes little boys,” has still not atoned.
  • image023FOREST HILLS URINAL EDITOR ERIC SPANGLER AND REPORTER LISA WAKELAND, who have been enabling Disgraced Masturbating Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien for the past four years, still haven’t atoned.
  • ANDERSON TRUSTEE CANDIDATES SCOTT DOYLE AND JOHN PIEHOWICZ, who haven’t signed the Whistleblower Pledge Not To Masturbate in Your Car like Endorsed Republican Candidates Andy Pappas and Josh Gerth signed, still haven’t atoned.
  • KENTUCKY U.S. SENATOR BITCH MCCONNELL, who still hasn’t condemned a National Republican Senatorial Committee spokesman’s degrading-and-offensive characterization of Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes as “an empty dress,” still hasn’t atoned.
  • image019OUR GOOD FRIEND, KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, who still hasn’t sent us our link for this week’s “This Week in Kenton County Circuit Court” with all those pictures of druggies, scumbags, suspected hookers, and even a few pedophiles, still hasn’t atoned.
  • THAT CABAL OF NOKY ATTORNEYS STILL OUT TO DESTROY ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS INCLUDING LOVELY LISA WELLS (THE ATTORNEY WHO REPLACED CRAZY ERIC ON WLW HATE RADIO), who can’t stop celebrating “Crazy Eric’s” many misfortunes, still haven’t atoned.who invited us to lunch today since he knew we couldn’t go because today is Yom Kippur, while his Graydon Head Partners have been making Jews feel welcome in Northern Kentucky since 2003, still hasn’t atoned.
  • image021BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO, who tried to get the day off for Yom Kippur by claiming he was Jewish, still hasn’t atoned.
  • HORNY IN HEBRON, who forgot to e-mail us our Friday Porn Package yesterday, still hasn’t atoned.
  • OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE, who couldn’t come up with a decent quote for our Yom Kippur E-dition, still hasn’t atoned.
  • FINALLY, BELOVED WHISTLEBLOWER PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE, who says, “But what if you haven’t done anything to atone for?,” hasn’t atoned yet and probably never will.

Atone and Groan

This week, everybody who wondered what Jews would be atoning for this Yom Kippur, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

image017The winner is Sammy Schlepper, who says “Ask my wife. She can tell you all the things I need to atone for from the day we first met.”

Since Yom Kippur, apart from being the Day of Atonement, is also the day to give and receive of gifts, Sammy wins an “I Love Yom Kippur” T-Shirt, a “Jesus Was Jewish” bumper sticker, and an invitation to Rick Robinson’s Yom Kippur Lunch at the WOK on Saturday. His winning entry is:

On Yom Kippur Jews always atone For things God does not condone. But next year they say More attention we’ll pay To politicians we should disown.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who has enough problems going to Confession):

On Yom Kippur Jews always atone But this year, they’ll REALLY weep and moan Jews voted for Obama by 79% Yahweh, please make them repent! This awful truth chills me to the bone.

He made nice to the Arabs and Hamas And kissed the behind of Abbas Though they gave him their trust He threw Israel under the bus I hope this year, like Duran, Jews will say “no mas!”

image018REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.

OFFICIAL YOM KIPPUR HOTLINE

e-mail your awesome atonements today.

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Some penitent items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally penitent subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

Radio Days – Yom Kippur

PLUS

Bad Attitude on Yom Kippur

Don’t get Stuck this Holiday

image018Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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