Special “This Week’s Diversion” E-dition

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers   

  • image004As Americans watched Saturday’s protests that attracted “hundreds” of people across the nation with shouts of “Justice For Trayvon!” and “No Justice, No Peace,” they’ll probably be wondering where all the money came from to support the organizational effort needed for the 100-city effort. —Obama-Sharpton Race Rally Organizers
  • So what if our orchestrated “Justice for Trayvon” rallies drew small crowds and America yawned? That was last week’s diversion from all those Obama Scandals we’re trying to keep covered up.—Obama Supporters in the Press
  • And only 24% of Americans disagreed with the Zimmerman verdict. —Jimmy Carter, Charles Barkley, and Bill Cosby
  • Last week as the violence across the country over the Zimmerman verdict was subsiding, Obama wanted to reopen the case by picking the scab off America’s Racial Wound with his racial remarks. Senior Colored Correspondent Courtis Gray
  • After encouraging Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to pursue civil rights charges against George Zimmerman the day after he was acquitted in the death of Trayvon Martin, we reversed course just four days later. —The American Civil Liberties Union
  • image007Please don’t explain to your racist readers that Skittles and Arizona Watermelon Iced Tea combined with our cough syrup will get you higher than Crack. —Robitussin
  • If I had only given George Zimmerman’s defense lawyers Trayvon Martin’s cell phone messages, they would’ve been able to introduce into evidence the fact that Trayvon bragged about taking that drug cocktail called “Lean” on his last night. —Disgraced Florida Special Prosecutor Angela Corey
  • And if I had known what the prosecution was hiding, I would’ve had a harder time trying to prejudice the jury. —Judge Debra Nelson
  • And we wouldn’t now need psychological counseling to get ov er all that white guilt the NAALCP, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Obama, and the Kneepad Liberals in the Press have been dumping all over us. —Six White Ladies on the Zimmerman Jury
  • Am I ever glad I watched Fox News and Hannity. —That Black Guy the Prosecution Knocked Off The Zimmerman Jury
  • When George Zimmerman emerged from hiding to rescue a family of four trapped in an burning overturned Ford SUV on a Florida highway, it was not exactly the circumstances we had been hoping for. —The Zimmerman Media Lynch Mob
  • image009Please don’t ask if our Saturday event that had been downgraded from a Violent Protest to a Political Pity Party was also funded by Obama’s Justice Department. —Stevecia Race
  • Did everybody see us looking like we really fit in with all those black folks on the podium and were having a great time? Disguised DemocRAT John Cranley and Extreme Liberal DemocRAT Foxy Roxy Qualls
  • Now you see why I temporarily stepped down as president of the local NAALCP during this year’s council campaign. —SMLP Smithermouth
  • image011To get “Justice for Trayvon,” we support Race-baiter Jesse Jackson’s call to boycott businesses in Florida that would put more black people out of work. — Moronic Members of the Black Caucus in Congress
  • Racial Racketeer Al Sharpton’s National Action Network even asked us to give up our multi-million dollar salaries and quit playing for the Miami Heat as part of their silly Florida boycott. —LeBron James and Dwyane Wade
  • People keep asking when Obama will be giving a speech for Pat Mahaney, who finally died after being beaten last August by those poor misunderstood yoofs because they were bored and looking for something to do. —Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters 
  • We’re already begun changing street signs in Clifton to Trayvon Martin Luther King Boulevard to comply with the new federal mandates. —Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory
  • image013Friday night, I endorsed Loony Libertarian Jim Berns for Mayor of Cincinnati during a small gathering at the Cincinnati Horseshoe Casino. Celebrity Pot Smoker Willie Nelson
  • Didn’t everybody see me Sunday on a national Fox TV News broadcast when I said the Hamilton County Board of Elections needed to hire a better class of DemocRAT Poll Workers?—Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • And “Old Blueface” can’t even find five people to run against my Mallory Mouthpieces on Clown-cil or a candidate for mayor who understands that St. Bernard is NOT one of the 52 freaking neighborhoods in Cincinnati. —Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
  • image015Maybe this week we’ll get around to reporting Josh Gerth and Conservative Cleaner Concepts guy Andy Pappas will be the Republican-endorsed candidates in this year’s Anderson Trustees Race. —Forest Hills Urinators Still Covering Up for Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien
  • Yes, that Liberal Atheist Group really wants the Star Of David removed from our Holocaust Memorial at the Statehouse. —Dick Finan, Chairman of the Capitol Square Review and Advisory Board
  • Thank you for your support. —McMason State Rep-tile Peter Beck
  • When I said “Amnesty will raise wages,” even the suck-ups in the White House Press Corps cackled in disbelief.  —Obama’s White House Press Dweeb Jay Cardboard
  • image017Last week when Cincinnati’s Mayor touted Disbarred Attorney $tan Che$ley’s donations to keep the city pools open again, Stan “hoisted a wet kid out of the water to stand near the microphone.”  $tan was just trying to electrocute the kid so somebody at else our place sue the microphone manufacturer, Duke Energy, and the CRC. —Attorneys at Cincinnati Legal
  • image018On this date in 1984, Vanessa Williams gave up her Miss America title, the first resignation in the pageant’s history, after Penthouse magazine announced plans to publish nude photos of the beauty queen in its September issue. And at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane explained to Political Insiders: Boy, did those pictures ever hurt Vanessa’s career in show business. Hurley the Historian
  • That’s why we chose Oscar Wilde’s “If people were meant to be nude, they would have been born this way.” —Our Quote for Today Committee
  • Would you believe this is one of our most requested tunes when I play music at weddings, especially during cocktail hour? —Bobby Leach
  • A dozen people marched across the Big Four Bridge in Louisville to show their support for Trayvon Martin on Saturday, and about 100 showed up to see people with White Guilt holding a “Justice for Trayvon” banner in Lexington. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • image020When do the Riots to Support George Zimmerman start in Northern Kentucky?  —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
  • Is it OK if the Bluegrass Rifle Association raises a little money to buy George Zimmerman a new gun? —Billy Bob Carbine
  • I’m still trying to promote a nude mud wrestling match between Lisa Wells and Crazy Eric Deters’ bimbo Sarah Jones. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
  • I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. Do you think the aftermath of the Zimmerman Verdict would be a good place to start? —Ben Swann

Some of Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons

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  Whistleblower Link of the Day

Judge Jeanine Pirro Rips Rolling Stone For Favorable Cover Of Tsarnaev

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