One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Happy Rama-Lama-Ding Dong, Everybody!
Monday, Obama issued a statement commemorating the Muslim holiday of Ramadan, offering “best wishes and a very merry Ramadan” to those Murdering Muslims celebrating across the globe: “For the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims, Ramadan is a time for thoughtful reflection, fasting and devotion. It is also an opportunity for family and friends to come together and celebrate the principles that bind people of different faiths – a commitment to peace, justice, equality and compassion towards our fellow human beings,” Obama said. “These bonds are far stronger than the differences that too often drive us apart.”
Meanwhile at the Whistleblower Diversity Desk, Abdul Akbar says Muslim reaction to Obama’s Ramadan Greetings is not going over so well.
- OBAMA’S IRS: Whistleblower Rogue IRS Snitch Ferrell Katz says Obama’s IRS “mistakenly posted” as many as 100,000 Social Security numbers on a government website. The Blower says Acting IRS Commissioner Danny Werfel should cancel those $70 million in bonuses for Obama’s paid liars.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says voters think most radical Muslim groups in this country should be under close surveillance by the government as possible terrorist threats, but they’re a lot less suspicious of TEA Party groups. Obama’s supporters, however, feel both groups should be monitored the same.]
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: The Broward County Sheriff’s Office has released a PSA asking people not to riot after that all-white jury in Florida lets America’s First Racist White Hispanic George Zimmerman off after killing a poor misunderstood drugged-up yoof like Trayvon Martin. Meanwhile a clothing brand is advertising its products by calling for the “Murder Of George Zimmerman.”
- IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports Ohio Governor Kasich Taylor spoke at Tuesday’s statehouse rally in support of expanding Medicaid enrollment in line with health care law, now that Ohio TEA Party Patriots say Kasich’s veto of Medicaid Reform passed in the General Assembly has signaled his true intentions.
- BLUE STATE BEER: In a new advertisement, makers of Samuel Adams beer recite one of the nation’s most cherished symbols of liberty: the Declaration of Independence. Unfortunately, the Boston-based brewery left out one key ingredient: “God.” [READ MORE HERE]
- G-UN CONTROL UPDATE: The Smoking Gun reports that Oklahoma woman who had a loaded handgun concealed in her vagina when she was arrested earlier this year on a drug charge has been sentenced to 25 years in state prison. [READ MORE HERE] Bobby Leach says the woman’s vagina was big enough to hide a tank in there.
DISRESPECTING THE TROOPS: When the Injured veteran Nathan Kemnitz was subjected to intense scrutiny by security screeners at the Sacramento Airport and the California state capitol building, the wounded Iraq Marine Veteran was treated “shamelessly” by TSA agents after he tried to explain why he couldn’t raise his injured arm.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1925, the Scopes Monkey Trial began in Dayton, Tennessee, where high school teacher John Scopes was being tried for teaching “evolution” in violation of state law, and to celebrate the occasion, at the Creation Museum today, anybody by the name of Scopes will be allowed to enter free.
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose William Jennings Bryan’s “All the ills from which America suffers can be traced to the teaching of evolution.”
- IN ANDERSON: Everybody’s wondering if they’ll be seeing a splashy front-page story in this week’s Forest Hills Urinal about the biggest development of 2013, because the Anderson Township Republican Central Committee (elected Precinct Executives) will be meeting on July 16 to interview potential candidates, now that “Pouting Peggy” Reis has decided NOT to run for another term as Anderson Township Trustee.
Masturbating Anderson Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien says, “This year’s election to send me packing must be a really big deal, because The Blower is already counting the days, hours, and minutes until the Anderson Township Republican Central Committee’s endorsement interviews next week.”
Anderson Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson says, “Anderson Trustee Wannabes will get a full 15 minutes to grovel during their presentations next Tuesday. E-mail The Russler at russelljackson@fuse to arrange your interview.
Perhaps The Blower could encourage Cleaner Concepts guy Andy Pappas to run. The long-time Anderson businessman has been scandal-plagued Kevin O’Brien’s severest critic, not counting Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane.
Disguised DemocRAT John Piehowicz probably won’t show up at next Tuesday’s interviews, especially if he’d have to explain why he’s promoting the AFL-CIO Labor Day Picnic on FaceBook.
- IT’S SKYLINE TIME: Whistleblower Chili Connoisseur Dixie GoldStarski says it looks like eating all those three-ways at Skyline is going to the heads of its employees and customers. First, there was the photo of the Skyline manager supporting Sodomy Rites Activist Mike Moronski in his campaign for Cincinnati City Clown-Cil. This second photo was on Skyline’s Facebook page since last Friday, submitted by Moronski ally “Rusty Nail.” Taking perversion to a whole new, but far more enjoyable, level, a Skyline customer showed us just how much she enjoys her three-ways.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (Including the Lisa Wells Fan Club) continues to be amused, at Crazy Eric’s antics after he claimed his bimbo client Sarah Jones was not really a “greedy nut job” before the replay of her $11 million lawsuit against that gossip website this week. Did the over-sexed Bungals cheerleader really say she was “devastated” by the website, that she had a flawless reputation, and that she was never a teacher to her victim? How can her reputation be flawless when she was either ogling her victim or having sex with him? One of our Caballeros believes that might be perjury, especially if she told one of the many media outlets earlier that she knew the moment she saw the victim enter her freshman English classroom (when he was 14) that they should be together? She was his teacher, and she spent the next years grooming him — as many child predators do.
And, at yesterday’s bribe lunch, a Jury Consultant asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Crazy Eric would be stupid enough to post that recording of himself going ballistic on his own Facebook page after he got a speeding ticket in Northern Kentucky. “Nothing Crzy Eric does would surprise me,” Kane explained. “Remember when he was actually stupid enough to sue The Blower and the Entire Whistleblower Legal Dream Team depantsed him in public?”
And for more than 23 years, Whistleblower Readers have always known where to see local celebrities ridiculed. Do you remember our July 9, 1991 Edition (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town)? Parody ads like this one for Channel 9’s Randy Little’s Rug-o-Rama.
Some of Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons
RAMADAN JOKES HOT LINE
e-mail your remarkable reflections today.
Some Islamic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Islamic subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
A Word to Rioting Muslims
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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