Saturday, July 6, 2013

White Guys Like Fried Chicken Too

TODAY IS NATIONAL FRIED CHICKEN DAY, a day to enjoy crisp and tasty, finger licking good fried chicken. And we don’t care if it does make us sound slightly racist, our Freebie Gourmet says, “Popeye’s do make some fine chicken. And wouldn’t you know, our Good Friend Bobby Leach says he prefers a big breast.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says former President George W. Bush was born on this date 67 years ago in 1946, and today the RNC (RINO National Committee) says the best way for the nation to show how much they really miss Bush 43 would be for every person in America to send them $67.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Dubya’s “If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy. That will not happen on my watch.”
SCOTUS SURPRISE: For one reason only, Republicans for Higher Taxes are cheering The Supreme Court rulings that promote gay marriage. They feel it brings the country one step closer to what they call “Real Marriage Equality,” which means that any collection of at least two or more adults should have the right to marry each other. This includes a bisexual marriage of three, polygamy, group marriages, and incest marriages. Since the Supreme Court says, in the name of equality, that all marriages must be treated equally, how will they be able to reject honoring these sacred marriages along with all the others? Equality means equality. And where in the Constitution does it say only two people can be married to each other at the same time?
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says according to Gallup, 71% of Americans think the Founding Fathers would be disappointed by the United States these days. Does that mean they wouldn’t approve of Obama? Photo Spoofer Edward Cropper isn’t sure.
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says now that Mickey Esposito, his wife Allison, and her son Adam have pled guilty to stealing drugs and jewelry from the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, everybody’s wondering how long the sentences will be when Wild and Crazy Hamilton County Judge Steve Martin sentences them on July 29.

CH also wonders why The Blower hasn’t said anything about Sheriff “Jimmy” not doing anything about inmates doing drugs in the jail yet. The Fishwrap reported that when five inmates on an OTR work detail came back to jail, one overdosed on heroin and four tested positive for cocaine. His solution was to stop all outside details rather than to order the deputies to do their jobs, like watching the inmates and searching them before they enter the jail. Now OTR has garbage/litter everywhere since it is not being picked up by the work details. Plus the incompetence goes even further. Word is the investigation of the incident was to speak to only one of the four surviving inmates. Also, the Sheriff is five million dollars over budget in the first six months of being on the job. He has already asked the commissioners for more money. If they don’t give it him, he’s threatening to cut patrols and say the commissioners are not for public safety. Of course, how can anyone get elected if they are not for public safety?

And how’s this for a Courthouse Latrine-o-gram: Charlie Luken will be running against Chris Monzel in the next election.

IN DETROIT: Cincinnati’s Disgraced Former Fourteen-Star Police Chief James Craig promises to make the Motor City safe. Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception imagines how that might come about.
MAYORAL MADNESS: The Hamilton County Board of Elections presented prospective mayoral candidate Stacy Smith with some very bad news on Monday. She didn’t get enough signatures because six pages of signatures from two of her petitioners were thrown out when it was discovered the petitioners were registered to vote in Saint Bernard, which they mistakenly believed was in the City of Cincinnati. That’s OK, residents of Saint Bernard still get to pay Cincinnati City Income Tax, if they work in the City.

And everybody’s wondering who paid for Former Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords to campaign against gun violence while riding in the Always-Liberal-Friendly Northside 4th of July Parade. Maybe Foxy Roxy paid for it out of her office funds.

LESBIANS ON TV: Ditzy DemocRAT State Rep-tile Connie “The Pillager” was on PMSNBC’s low-rated Rachel Madcow’s Lesbian News Show this week to promote Connie’s campaign for Ohio Treasurer. Those two ladies have so much in common.
REDS RAINOUT: the Reds may not have played baseball on the Fourth of July, and fireworks at King’s Island didn’t go boom, but our casino was packed! Our Card-Counting Cheat says cars were so stacked and packed around the place, many couldn’t get in.

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall wonders if TV viewers who didn’t realize the Reds Fourth of July game had been postponed were surprised to see Homer Bailey pitching another ho-hitter following Thursday’s weather delay. And did Homer drop the “F-Bomb” again during his post-game interview?

SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS: Our Colerain Confidante (probably not Colerain Trustee candidate Goofball Greg Insco) says normally he’d have been watching the Colerain fireworks Thursday night but the Trustees took that away too and The Blower’s Faux Facebook “Friend” Rusty Nail says It’s another reason to be voting for new Trustees this November. Just like cancelling the Colerain Township Summer Camp after 30 years, Ritter and Deters-Rinehart could’ve done the fireworks but they didn’t. It’s strictly political because the Trustees don’t want the summer camp and summer events as opportunities for the political opposition to be able to campaign. They’ll light off “some” fireworks after the Waste of Colerain in August. The Confidante says last he checked July 4th is July 4th, NOT August! Don’t be surprised if the Ritter Regime asks you to celebrate Christmas in January too. RIDICULOUS!
FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: The Lebanon City School renewal levy is ready to be voted on. Over-Taxed Payers can vote against it at the Board of Elections (406 Justice Drive in Lebanon) between 8AM and 4:30 PM Monday thru Friday.
TALENTLESS IN THE TOWNSHIP: Registration for “Anderson’s Got Talent” at Greater Anderson Days has been extended until July 15.

And did somebody really suggest that teachers at the Forrest Gump Schools “give back” 5% of their salaries and benefits like Obama claimed he was doing, just because teachers’ incomes were 36% higher than the average median incomes in the district?

And did you hear about the Anderson Township trustee who scammed an area restaurant out of $15? Maybe it was the one trustee who always seems to be in some sort of trouble.

And if you think The Blower’s New Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden’s travel plans are hard to follow, try keeping track of Anderson’s Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen, who spoke at the Fourth of July event at Seward, Nebraska (wherever the hell that is.) Meanwhile, Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup is closing his personal gmail account. And you thought he never bothered to read your crappy e-mails before?

IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Our Clermont Crony says since it was revealed that Clermont County Communications Director Annette Meager was given a job and is renting her apartment from one of the people who voted to give her that job, some are suggesting there may be more interesting information out there about Ms. Meager.
LOOK UP IN THE SKY: After last week’s deaths at the Dayton air show, it was a little unnerving to have that B52 use our trees as its turning point for plane rides at Lunken. That monster plane was 100 feet over the tree tops off Salem. Not to worry, if your insurance covers plane crashes into your house. Angry Andersonians hate the air shows and B52 rides that disturb weekend relaxing in their swimming pools. Daily take offs before the sun comes up are OK, but all day rumbling is like living in England during WWII.
WHISTLEBLOWER GOSSIP COLUMNIST LINDA LIBEL says Hollywood actor Michael Douglas claims he caught throat cancer by giving his wife oral sex. Was this a sound medical diagnosis, or was Douglas just the latest DemocRAT to blame everything on Bush?

IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if Dipsy DemocRAT Alison Lundergan Grimes is a serious candidate for Desperate DemocRATS to run against Bitch McConnell for Kentucky’s U.S. Senate seat? Obviously, the McConnell campaign doesn’t think so.

And The CamBoozler says, “Yes, we are once again scooping The Fishwrap. In Campbell County, Ole Coach Coleman, the educator turned Rogers-Nolan-Voelker Library Hater, announced a few weeks ago that he was running for county commission against Brian Woodman Painter. It seems today that the old coach did not have a good game plan because, we kid you not, he doesn’t even live in Painter’s district. The Bellevue Coach bombed again by following another Nutsy scheme.

Also in Campbell County, Judge Spendery hasn’t realized he is judge no-more, but you can read some desperation in his recent invitation. The tri-fold has over 100 names of just “hosts.” This would make someone assume that all of these folks are all in for $1,000. Even folks that live in the area are saying, “What home would hold that many people or parking spots?” The funniest thing is that some of the folks on the invitation are not supporters. Seems Spendery likes over-exaggerating like other “overs” he’s fond of: over-taxing, over-spending, etc. Meanwhile, Give Em Hell Sell said that folks will see the report after the next deadline and he may have a Spendery Over-Hosting and Over-Taxing party for all of the angry citizens over in Campbell County.

LOCAL LEGAL UPDATE: That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (Including the Lisa Wells Fan Club) continues to be amused, especially after Crazy Eric claimed his bimbo client Sarah Jones is not a “greedy nut job” before the replay of her $11 million lawsuit against a gossip website next week. Didn’t Crazy Eric get suspended again? Maybe he got a stay, but nobody really knows. The Blower can’t find a judge who’ll own up to signing off on it.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about that note from Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Zawistowski, who was complaining about how the mainstream news media was not only failing to capitalize the first letters of the words “Tea Party,” but were also not capitalizing the entire word “TEA.” since it stands for “Taxed Enough Already.” The Blower has always used “TEA Party,” ever since we helped publicize that first big “Taxed Enough Already” Rally on Fountain Square, back in 1990s. Other folks who haven’t gotten the word to capitalize “TEA Party” seem to include the Cincinnati Tea Party, Anderson Tea Party, Clermont Tea Party, Cincinnati East Tea Party, West Chester Tea Party, and the SouthWest Cincinnati Tea Party, wherever the hell that is.

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.

Some of Today’s Better Political Cartoons

NATIONAL FRIED CHICKEN DAY HOT LINE

E-mail your extra crispy orders today.

Some finger-licking good items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally finger-licking good, but we could always use more.

Link of the Day

The Obamas After Dark

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Daily Archives: July 6, 2013

Official “National Fried Chicken Day” E-dition