One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
What a Difference a Year Made
- Think of how much things have changed since last year during the first week in July when Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said he knew the heat wave had come to Ohio when we saw dueling bus tours in the northern part of the state. Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign featured Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty aboard the Romney bus in Maumee, Parma, and all over the Mahoning Valley, one step ahead of Obama, whose own “Betting on America” bus tour was scheduled to hit those same three areas.
- Whistleblower Summer Interns Rachel, Bradley, Ashley, and Hunter found this Republican National Committee ad meant to be a really warm greeting for Obama. Everybody was sure watching the Romney campaign was going to be a lot of fun, like when the Marine Corps Band played Romney’s Campaign Song on the White House Lawn while Obama greeted guests.
- Nobody was asking Obama about that lawsuit Ohio private investigator Susan Daniels filed last year on July 2 in Geauga County Common Pleas Court demanding that Jon Husted, Ohio Secretary of State, remove Obama’s name from the ballot until Obama can prove the validity of his Social Security Number.
- Former President George W. Bush was born this week 67 years ago in 1946, so last year the RNC (RINO National Committee) said the best way for the nation to show how much they really missed him would be for every person in America to send them $66.
Our TEA Party Patriots had some fiery reminders for John Boehner and Republicans in Congress prior to the next week’s big “ObamaCare Tax Repeal Vote” in the House.- Rob “Fighting for Fahrenheit” Portman was full of hot air when he said he was glad the World Choir Games were taking place in Cincinnati.
- Ohio U.S. Senate Candidate Josh Mandel was turning up the heat on his opponent at the Country Inn in Georgetown on Thursday on his own a two-day swing through southern and eastern Ohio.
Somebody else who was feeling the heat those days was Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien. Kevin was arrested for masturbating in a woman’s car. You should’ve heard some of the jokes WLW Hate Radio’s Darrell Parks was telling on the radio about the Old Masturbator before the Fourth of July Parade in Anderson. One place Whacky Jackie’s Illegitimate Son didn’t feel the heat was in the Forest Hills Urinal. His enablers there covered up that story completely, one more time.
Federal Judge Mike Barrett said he’d have to recuse himself from hearing Kevin’s landmark masturbation case, but he did not refuse to be called as an expert witness.
“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman said Anderson Trustees should burn $tate Rep-Tile For Sale Peter $tautberg at the stake for helping keep Kevin in office.
- Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather was saying the Reds’ bats should be used for kindling, with all those runners left on base those days, especially since the team’s current slump was really jeopardizing Dusty’s leverage in talks about a contract extension.
- Republicans for Higher Taxes turned up the heat on Congressman Steve Chabothead for his amendment prohibiting federal funds to the Cincinnati streetcar. RFHT believe only Cincinnati residents can comment on the streetcar, but that everyone should be required to pay for it. One Cincinnatian not happy with Chabot’s action is long-time streetcar supporter Sean Donovan.
In Cincinnati, SMLP Smithermouth and 55KRC’s Brian Thomas said Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’ was just blowing smoke when she pretended to oppose higher property taxes.
Uncertified Former 14-Star Cincinnati Police Chief James Craig was all hot and bothered about another hearing scheduled before the Ohio police certification board last July 19. Craig weaseled out of the first two hearings where he planned to make demands to be exempted from the basic State police certification exam just because he’s James Craig. The Blower was betting Craig would weasel out of this third hearing that month.- Craig seemed to be afraid to take this basic test, even though he had seven full time police supervisor tutors helping him with the answers each day. California legal resident Craig undoubtedly knew he was just too stupid to pass the test, so he demanded to be exempted on the grounds that the test was “racist” and obviously written by so crazy-ass cracker.
CCV Action was trying to light a fire under Independent and Undecided Voters. Maybe folks didn’t realize there were only “122” more days until Election Day.- Americans for Prosperity needed to light a fire under its board and chose a new state director for Ohio. Time was a-wastin’!
- Our Compassionate Conservative said if any person or charity donated a fan or air-conditioner to a poor person during the Summer Heat Wave, the donor should first write on it with a big black permanent marker: “FREE FAN – A GIFT TO THE POOR- NOT FOR Re-SALE!”
Our Quote for Today Committee chose Kin Hubbard’s “Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.”- Our Branch Norwoodian was all burned up because the City of Norwood was then five months delinquent in reimbursing City retirees, their widows, and dependents for pension medical payments. A judge affirmed the City must make monthly payments per collective bargaining agreements. However, nothing had been paid since that February. Payments were owed for March, April, May, June, and July. Phone calls to the Mayor and Director of Safety-Service went unreturned.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said those days in Northern Kentucky, you shouldn’t forget to wear your deodorant. And our Good Friend Bobby Leach says, a crowded elevator must really smell great to a midget.
Also in Northern Kentucky, The CamBoozler reported our Good Friend E Rob Sanders said his last year’s Kenton Commonwealth Attorney’s Office Fourth of July Party had been the best ever, and guys were eating so much watermelon because they’d read all those reports that claimed watermelon has effects similar to Viagra, so they could keep their Fourth of July fireworks going all night long. That’s why Blackjack Brian Richmond cashed his pay check and bought a whole truckload of watermelons.
- But something else that really burned our ass was seeing those phony patriot e-mails from elected officials wishing people Happy Independence Day last year, especially when they missed how long ago the Declaration of Independence had been signed. Even Trish the Dish knew last year was the 236th anniversary. On the other hand, whoever wrote “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s press release, said we were celebrating our “235 year tradition of freedom and liberty.” Dysfunctional DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown’s over-taxed payer funded constituent e-mail said “two hundred and thirty-seven years ago, farmers, merchants, laborers, and soldiers celebrated a new nation.” What the heck—they were both close enough for government work!
Last year this week everybody was still talking about that embarrassing PMSNBC video of “Junketing Jean” Schmidt wildly cheering for the ObamaCare Tax victory that had people all over the country once again laughing at Southwest Ohio’s Most Embarrassing Elected Official in History (including Jerry Springer). [WATCH THAT VIDEO HERE]
We even said “Junketing Jean’s” News Flack Barrett Brunsman was trying to claim that the whole thing was just one big terrible mistake. “She wasn’t really screaming ‘Yes, Yes’ to celebrate Obama’s victory. She was just practicing her ‘When Harry Met Sally’ impersonation.”
Imagine The Blower’s surprise when the Huffington Post created a video mixing scenes of our Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch celebrating CNN’s initial, inaccurate reports that the Supreme Court had struck down the individual mandate with the iconic orgasm scene from the movie “When Harry Met Sally.” Coincidence? We think not.
Speaking of really embarrassing photographs, Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel wondered how many of our Persons of Consequence could guess the identity of this elected official from this photograph of him in drag found in his high school year book.- This year, Republicans for Higher Taxes are cheering the Supreme Court rulings that promote gay marriage. They feel it brings the country one step closer to what they call “Real Marriage Equality,” which means that any collection of two or more adults should have the right to marry each other.
This includes a bisexual marriage of three, polygamy, group marriages, and incest marriages. Since the Supreme Court says, in the name of equality, all marriages must be treated equally, how will they be able to reject honoring these sacred marriages along with all the others? Equality means equality.
- A year ago at that weekly meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about Obama’s and Romney’s Dueling Bus Tours in Northern Ohio, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher remembered that time four years ago when he won that campaign contest on the internet and got to drive the McCain Campaign’s RINO Party Express on its bus tour through Southwestern Ohio.
For more than 23 years, The Blower has been the main source of Patriotic News hereabouts. Do you remember our Patriotic Top Ten List published in the July 2, 1991 Edition (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town)?- Today, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1863, Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s last attempt to break the Union line at Gettysburg ended in disastrous failure, bringing the most decisive battle of the American civil War to an end. Breitbart News and the Next News Network N3 will live-stream 20 hours of coverage and honor the 150th Anniversary of Battle of Gettysburg. [SEE TODAY’S SCHEDULE HERE]
- That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Robert E. Lee’s: “It is good that war is so horrible, or we might grow to like it.”
Finally, at yesterday’s bribe lunch, the hot topic was when a Conservative Consultant asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to compare “Taxation without Representation” in 1776 with the situation today. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “Today with Obama and Congress all you get is Taxation with Misrepresentation.”
Now to help everybody get ready for Independence Day, Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, had “Another Patriotic Poem.”
On the Fourth of July,
In the rockets; red glare
The Girls dress skimpy
So the boys will stare.
Some of Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons
PATRIOTIC FOURTH OF JULY PICNIC HOT LINE
e-mail your patriotic prose today.
Some patriotic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally patriotic subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
LAST YEAR’S WHISTLEBLOWER PATRIOTIC LINK OF THE DAY
“The Best of America”
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