Monday, July 1, 2013

All That Twitters Is Not Gold

At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all that Social Networking Nonsense you can’t get away from.

Some people claim Social Networking has encouraged new ways to communicate and share information, and Social Networking websites are being used regularly by gazillions of dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span people. We even have a Video called “Social Networking in Plain English.”
According to Wikipedia (the free encyclopedia), these days some of the most popular Social Networks include Facebook, Google+, YouTube, and Twitter. You might even see their logos on some of the e-mails you receive or web sites you visit. Those logos mean you can waste even more of your time joining their Social Networks.
Down at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, they’ve even offered free Social Networking classes, while in Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says over at Ohio RINO Party Headquarters, Chairman Matt Borges is still claiming Ohio Republicans will Twitter their way pack into power as a Red State in 2016. At least the Kasich-Taylor Campaign and the ORP still use e-mail to grovel for donations before midnight on the date of a quarterly fund-raising deadline, along with Obama’s bogus Organizing For Action campaign.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose “Facebook says we’re ‘Friends’ but, trust me, I wouldn’t hesitate to punch you in the freaking face!”
These days instead of sending out e-mails to announce an event or tell you what they want you to know, some politicians are now actually “Twittering” their latest news. No kidding!

Remember when Richard Jones cut-and-ran from a Congressional Primary fight with GOP House Leader John Boehner? The Bombastic Butler County Sheriff didn’t send out e-mails or call a press conference, he “Twittered” the news, and the all those lazy members of the news media quoted his excuses with no follow-up.

At Cincinnati City Clown-cil, when Ghizzy Lizzy wanted to yank Lateka Cole’s nappy hair over the City Budget Scandal, she didn’t send out an e-mail and call a press conference, she “Tweeted” it and nobody really heard what Ghizzy Lizzy had to say either.

When the local TEA Party wanted to protest how Dumpy DemocRAT Ohio First District One-and-Done Congressman Steve Drinkhaus was doing Nancy Pelosi’s bidding in Washington, they didn’t send out press releases to all of their media contacts, they “Facebooked” it. Maybe that’s why almost a hundred people showed up for their Fizzle on Fountain Square, which was a far cry from the many thousands who raised hell on The TEA Party’s big April 15 Rally, when they contacted every media outlet the could think of.

And whatever happened three years ago this weekend at Disbarred Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced DemocRAT, Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley’s secret $30,400-per-couple fund-raiser for Dumpy Drinkhaus’ special guest Nancy Pelosi (the most liberal Speaker of the House in our nation’s history) this weekend?

If our Tea Partiers had actually organized a protest, nobody ever heard a word about it. What modern method were they using to communicate—Dixie Cups and string? Good Grief! Looney Libertarian Congressional Candidate Jim Berns even got a Washington Post reporter to fly in to Cincinnati and rent a car just to cover The Blower’s Historic Protest in a Teapot media event in front of Dumpy’s house at 1018 Benz Avenue in Price Hill.

Maybe that secret fund-raiser was kept secret because it’s so much easier for TEA Partiers and Blue Chip Young Republicans to sit on their cans in the air conditioning and forward e-mails with fabricated quotes from the Founding Fathers than it is to do actual work at politics. The Republican plan is to stand around and take credit for anything the voters do to react against Obama and to blame the media for anything that doesn’t go their way.

These days, Dumpy’s 4,585 “Facebook Friends” can see if that cheetah ate his kids in Swaziland. But let’s face it: if Dumpy had 4,585 “real friends,” he might still be drinking from the public trough.

And how about when Steve Chabothead wanted to tell everybody how Dumpy had voted for an 8% increase for his own Congressional office spending to get himself re-elected? Captain Combbover didn’t send out an e-mail and call a press conference. He “blogged it,” you know, like one of those left-wing bloggers whacking off in their moms’ basements. No wonder Steve’s the words in Steve’s screed were little noted nor long remembered, except maybe in The Blower.
Referring to Dumpy on Facebook, former Whistleblower Presidential Scholar in Residence Patrick Maloney said that arrogant pygmy misrepresenting the First Congressional District of Ohio had voted for the largest tax increase in US history!” (And that was only the second time in two days The Blower had published that undeniable truth.)
Meanwhile, today, Ohio’s Second Congressional District, Podiatrist Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s account at gmail.com is being shut down and will no longer be monitored, that’s if it ever was.
And back down at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, Alex T., Mall Cop GOP, was still Wandering in the Wilderness when he said on his “Two-Faced Book” page, everybody should drop whatever they’re doing and Segway over to the Greek Panegyri Festival, so they could stand in front of him on line at the “mezethakia” booth (Sammy Spellchecker it should’ve been spelled “mezedakia”), whatever the hell that is. What a bunch of “Twitter Nonsense” all that was? Alex T. says this is his favorite “Facebook Song” and every election Hamilton County keeps on getting “Bluer.”
At least esteemed Hamilton County Prosecutor Deters is still sending out old-fashioned e-mails and calling press conferences whenever he wants to call some perp “scum,” and you see “JayWalking Joe’s” face on TV all the time.
Hurley the Historian says The Whistleblower has been being bringing people “news the others seem to lose” for the past twenty-three years, and we should continue to avoid all that Social Networking Nonsense like the plague.
Since The Blower’s very first day, the only way a Person of Consequence could ever see what we had to say was to apply for an e-mail subscription. Once they did that, they could then learn how to research our archives at The Whistleblower Newswire.

(But don’t forget what happens to persons who’ve been found to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and shakers and are declared “Persons of Inconsequence.” Those four-flushers and phonies get removed from our list without notice.)

Maybe that’s why Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane said, “We really don’t need all those Faux Facebook Friends and Twitty Twitter-Followers. The many thousands of well-informed subscribers who read The Blower every day comprise exactly the audience we want to reach.”