Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says only 49% of the people they interviewed think Memorial Day is one of nation’s most important holidays, the same as last year.—Patriotic Americans
This Memorial Day, at least Obama found time for his campaign photo op during the traditional Memorial Day event at Arlington National Cemetery and the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. —WWII Medal of Honor Winners
We have the names and bios of every American killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Click on our name to see them all. —The Military Times
Two former Navy Seals from San Diego left to die in the Benghazi terror attacks were honored in a special ceremony in San Diego on Monday. —Mount Soledad Veterans Association
Veterans in crisis and their families and friends should call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 to receive qualified, caring help. —Department of Veterans Affairs Responders
What’s the big deal? Dead soldiers are only “Political Props.” —Obama Supporters in the Press
On Saturday’s date in 1980, left-wing lunatics found a new way to spew their Liberal lies when we began broadcasting. —CNN
Just because our announcers are uncomfortable calling America’s fallen military “heroes,” doesn’t mean we’re totally unpatriotic. —Obama Rooters at PMSNBC
This year we were hoping Obama would lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Rogue IRS Agents in Cincinnati. —Compulsive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose
Sunday’s Rolling Thunder got a lot more publicity two year’s ago when I showed up for a ride on a Harley. —Sarah Palin
Did everybody see how my eviler twin sister Jennifer Black got some much-needed publicity for my comeback Congressional campaign when she symbolically got to finish the Boston Marathon on Sunday at the Indy 500? —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
Did any Real Republicans see me on Sunday night’s PBS Memorial Day Concert? —Colin Powell
That’s why we chose General Norman Schwartzkopf’s “It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
That was a truly inspirational account about the origin of “Taps” in The Blower’s Memorial Day e-dition. Fortunately this year, The Blower added the part where according to Snopes.com, that story was not exactly true. —Freddy Factchecker
That’s why I always say “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” —Liberty Valance
OK, let’s see if the guys at Snopes.com can find fault with this version of “Taps.” —Tom Paine-in-the-Ass
Did we miss an opportunity by not having a really big event on Memorial Day? —Tea Party Patriots, Waiting For Flag Day (whenever the hell that is)
On Memorial Day, every Real Republican in Hamilton County on the Special Whistleblower Insiders List offered a silent prayer for the souls of all those brave men and women whose political aspirations have died under the leadership of the Hamilton County RINO Party. —Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda
As the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, make sure The Blower doesn’t forget June 1 will be the 17th anniversary of the Hamilton County Stadium tax. —Looney Libertarian Josh Weitzman
One of the really patriotic Memorial Day events in America was the Memorial Day Bell Ceremony Monday at noon at the Anderson Center. —Armed Andersonians
Isn’t it great that all of us draft dodgers get a paid day off on Memorial Day too? —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
The reason I didn’t ask for any money on my Happy Memorial Day message was because that over-taxed payer funded e-mail was part of my constituent service. —Disingenuous DemocRAT Sherrod Brown
Who says we don’t report all the in-depth important issues just because our traditional News Poll question on Memorial Day has always been “Which do you like better– brats or metts?” —TV12 News
Does anybody remember when you could actually afford to just get in your car and drive somewhere on Memorial Day because gasoline now costs have more than doubled during the Obama Administration? —Greater Cincinnati Gas Stations
Every year Distaste of Cincinnati is proof that Hell is full and the dead are walking the earth. —Downtown Clown-cil
This year our members donated their used food to all those licensed panhandlers and the homeless. —Greater Cincinnati Restaurant Association
Hasn’t anybody figured out we’ll deliver a pizza to your house for a whole lot less than it costs those idiots at Distaste of Cincinnati? —LaRosa’s
It’s a good thing City Clown-cil passed a law saying price gouging is still OK. —Distaste of Cincinnati Vendors
Memorial Day parades would be a lot shorter if they kept publicity-seeking politicians away and the only people marching were there to honor America’s war dead. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
We were hoping to see members of the Lesbian Avengers Motorcycle Club riding topless in the Y’All Ville City parade. -—Bluegrass Breast Inspectors
I was only there to honor the MILFs. —Bobby Leach
We think announcing the exact location of DUI checkpoints on Memorial Day Weekend really helps a lot. —Mothers Against Drunk Driving
Every Memorial Day weekend, I always celebrate the anniversary of the Beverly Hills fire. —Greedy Disgraceful DemocRAT, Disvarred Hearse-chasing Attorney $tan Che$ley
On Memorial Day, I went to the cemetery to visit my law license. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
On Memorial Day, all Second Amendment Advocates should offer a silent prayer for the souls of all those victims of gun violence, who died because laws already on the books have not been enforced. —Billy Bob Carbine, Bluegrass Rifle Association
Memorial Day is one of those holidays where we honor a special event or a birthday by pretending it always happened on a Monday and then leaving our trash at the curb for an extra long time. —Uncle Jay, Who Used to Explain the News on Memorial Day
Did the Covington Commissioners really place a wreath for me at the Tomb of the Unknown Midget? —Disgraced Former Covington Commissioner Steve “I’m 5’0”, Not 4’11”Mergele
Did they really have a ceremony to honor Civil War heroes like General Hooker at the Piece Bell in Newport? —Phyllis on Madison
Memorial Day is always a great time to enjoy a three-way. —Paul Patton Her on the Ass
Memorial Day is always a great day to recall your failed Congressional political campaigns. —Trey Grayson
Tell us about it. —Gary No Moore and The Trooper Babe
Memorial Day is always a great time to enjoy a memorial probe. —The Murg
Guys at the Fort Mitchell Country Club always tell me Memorial Day is a great time to wear my bikini. —Miss Vicki
Memorial Day would always be a great time for The Fishwrap to get scooped by The Blower on a story about a well-known person from Northern Kentucky being arrested for DUI. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
Memorial Day is always a great time to be invited to a big picnic. —Weight Gainers Members Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
We’re still trying to figure out when Confederate Memorial Day is officially celebrated in Northern Kentucky. —Rufus Redneck
On Confederate Memorial Day, do you think I should tell people I’m related to Jefferson Davis? —Goof Doofus
You can’t fool me. Thursday is the traditional date for Memorial Day, right? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
Curiously, Sheree Paolello says that’s not what it says on her Celebrity Anchorbabes calendar. — Jack Atherton (Still at Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you missed me)

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower ridicules sunshine patriots to show that claiming to be a Great American is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a draft dodger getting paid for a day off on Memorial Day.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham.

THE REAL MEANING OF MEMORIAL DAY HOT LINE

e-mail your patriotic prose today.

Some patriotic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally patriotic subscribers

Link of the Day

Ronald Reagan: Historic 1984 Memorial Day Ceremonies

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.