Friday, May 24, 2013
Memorial Day Check List
This weekend, we planned to write something truly inspirational about all those brave men and women who answered our country’s call and gave the last full measure of their devotion, fighting for freedom from the Halls of Montezuma to the deserts of Afghanistan and Iraq. We even planned to show you a lot of patriotic videos, like this one.- Hurley the Historian said we should review how Memorial Day has its roots in a post-Civil War holiday called “Decoration Day,” explain how observance of the holiday has changed over the years, and urge that the legacy never be forgotten.
Others said this weekend we should march in a parade with flag-waving politicians, watch John Wayne and Audie Murphy war movies all day on TV, or cut weeds at a Veterans Cemetery, while trying not to feel guilty about ignoring living conditions for those poor, mistreated Al Qaeda terrorist detainees on their all-expenses paid Caribbean vacations at GITMO.- In Anderson, you could always pay your respects for the lives of so many service members who have given their all for the sake of our freedom at the Memorial Day Bell Ceremony Monday at noon at the Anderson Center.
- Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose a trio of quotes from The Duke: “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway,” “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid,” and “If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.”
This Memorial Day, Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen reports 60% of those polled say it’s likely other agencies targeted Conservatives too. Most voters think Obama’s Internal Revenge Service’s decision to target Conservative groups was made in Washington, D.C., and that it wasn’t the only government agency going after these groups, and only 20% of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Supporters actually believe the IRS’ explanation thus far that two low-level employees at its Cincinnati office were the only ones involved in the decision to target Conservative groups.- The Blower can hardly wait to hear Obama’s phony patriotic Memorial Day message telling all Americans to honor our fallen troops, like the Americans he left to die in Benghazi.
- Everybody’s wondering if Obama, who’s sent thousands of troops into war in Afghanistan, will again be MIA for the traditional Memorial Day event at Arlington National Cemetery. Obama Supporters in the Press call dead soldiers “Political Props.” Do you think the troops are starting to miss George Bush yet?
Further insulting our nation’s fallen heroes, last year Obama e-mailed supporters, asking them to add their names to a list of people who proudly stand with Obama to allow gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military. Whistleblower Alternative Life-style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say we hoping after he was re-elected, he’d go to Key West on Memorial Day to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Homosexual.- The Blower remembers when local Demo-Labor Party bosses e-mailed phony Memorial Day messages that began with:
As we approach this Memorial Day, please remember that its real purpose was to pause to give thanks and honor to those who have sacrificed their lives for our county. Some were Democrats, some were Republicans, some were independents or members of other political parties, but they all fought and died so that we may continue to enjoy our democracy.
Damn! You can’t get much more non-partisan than that. (But you know they didn’t really mean it.)
- The Blower also remembers the Chairman’s Memorial Day Blog at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters. Old Blue-face was waxing poetic about whether the guy who won “American Idol” was really a Republican. What else can you expect from a guy whose blog is this far out of date?
Up to date internet communications don’t appear to be a political priority for the candidates Alex T. controls, either. [THERE’S NO NEED TO STAND AND SALUTE THIS]
- Good grief! Even our Feckless Fishwrappers will know enough to slap a few patriotic pictures on the front page this weekend. Now you know why so few Americans will admit to being Republicans these days.
As former Vice President Dick Cheney so effectively pointed out, September 11 showed us Freedom is not free. Millions of Americans have been killed, wounded, or are still missing, giving their lives during our country’s history, serving our nation in our armed forces. Without their selfless sacrifices, our nation and the freedoms we too often take for granted would not exist.- Now The Blower says on Memorial Day we should simply honor our heroes, and remember when Ronald Reagan said “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.”
Sunday night, we should all watch the National Memorial Day Concert on TV featuring riveting performances from some of the world’s biggest stars. In addition, acclaimed actors will present personal stories of love and sacrifice submitted by viewers through the concert’s Virtual Wall of Remembrance.
The program is again co-hosted by Joe Mantegna (CRIMINAL MINDS) and Gary Sinise (CSI: NEW YORK), two acclaimed actors who have dedicated themselves to veteran’s causes and supporting our troops. We’re pretty sure Obama won’t be watching it on TV and we know he’s not scheduled to appear with all those patriots.
One local Gulf War Veteran says if any staffers in local Congressional offices happen to be watching, Memorial Day would be a good time to be thinking about improving your constituency service, especially to veterans.
Also on Sunday, HBO is scheduled to show “Taking Chance,” a 2009 historical drama film based upon the experiences of Marine Lt. Colonel Michael Strobl (Kevin Bacon), who escorts the body of a fallen Marine, PFC Chance Phelps (posthumously promoted to LCpl), back to his hometown from the Iraq War. If there was ever a movie guaranteed to bring tears to your eyes on Memorial Day, this one ought to do it. You can watch the trailer here.
Finally, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says although many patriotic people will be celebrating Memorial Day this weekend, Confederate Memorial Day is officially celebrated in Kentucky on June 3, because Confederate President Jefferson Davis was born on that date in 1808 in Fairview, Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know where Fairview is, it’s near Hopkinsville, wherever in the hell that is.- Someone who has something to memorialize this weekend is Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, since the Kentucky Bar Association just suspended his law license for the second time in two years. The Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Crazy (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) will no doubt be celebrating, bringing Persons of Consequence up to date as soon as they can stop laughing.
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Stories We’re Working On
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Obama says we don’t really need a special IRS prosecutor - Only 52% think Obamacare will increase their Health Care spending
- Boehner says, “Senate immigration bill dead on arrival”
- Pelosi blames IRS scandal on Bush
- Cleveland kidnap hero gets free hamburgers for life
- Crazy Eric Deters suspended again
- Gays welcome at Distaste of Cincinnati
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said most Apathetic Americans would be spending Memorial Day:
(A) Remembering all our fallen heroes: 2%
(B) Paying more than $2.50-per-gallon for gasoline: 1%
(C) Watching John Wayne movies on TV: 1%
(D) Getting another day off with pay: 96%
- NOTE: The Whistleblower has been conducting a poll of Memorial Day activities since its inception. This year, Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup has decided to conduct his own poll on his Facebook page. You can see for yourself here.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane has no doubt that the annual Blower poll will prove to be much more accurate.
Fine Dining on a Stick
This week, everybody who thinks holding this year’s Distaste of Cincinnati at Fountain Square is just about what you’d expect from the worst-run city in America that spent $42 million to wipe out every business in the area for two years while they moved the Fountain six feet north during their guaranteed one-year renovation project, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Avoirdupois Andersonian Freddy Fatass. Our Weight Gainers member says driving downtown has always been expensive, even before you had to take out a second mortgage to fill the tank on your SUV, but trekking downtown just to eat an overpriced chicken wing or a meatball on a stick? As always, downtown trolleys would be the answer. Freddy wins an “I Survived the Distaste of Cincinnati” T-Shirt, an opportunity to buy a slice of Larosa’s Pepperoni Cheese Pizza for $3, a scoop of Graeter’s Ice Cream for $4, a crappy $5 Izzy’s Reuben sandwich, or $17.95 for a month’s supply of Beano for the ride home. His winning entry is:
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti
Five bucks buys an overcooked hamburger patty.
Or sushi the size of a lousy nickel
(A buck extra if you add a pickle);
And the trailer park trash makes the venue so ratty.
Jeff Ruby says
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti
The choices almost drive me batty.
The chefs all compete
To induce you to eat
Something fancy, no plain burger patty.
Dean Gregory says
Some of the food tastes funny,
Some is hard, some soft, some runny.
You need to make sure
And not go if you’re poor
‘Cause whatever you get, it will cost lots of money.
Jean-Robert de Cavel says
Each year at the taste of the ‘Natti.
The streets are all jammed full of fatties
They walk stand to stand
With pon-corn in hand
Slurpin’ diet cokes to look good for their Daddies.
Emeril Lagasse says
Each year at the taste of the ‘Natti,
We shell out for portions quite ratty.
You’ll be served brats and metts
Right next to Port-O-Lets,
And for the gourmet? Filet of catty!
And from the Anderson Gourmet (who’s still not successfully completed his correspondence course in low-fat cooking):
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti
The throngs and hordes drive me batty.
So I think I’ll stay home
On my chair of styrofoam
And listen to Gian Carlo Menotti
Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti,
You promise to eat only one burger patty.
But there is so much good food
And you’re in a gluttonous mood
So you end up being the same old fatty.
Each year at the taste of the ‘Natti,
The prices get more and more batty.
This I think I’ll stay home,
And eat something in Styrofoam
Maybe a veggie burger, or tofu patty.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Paying Four Dollars for a Gallon of Gas”
CHEAP GAS HOT LINE
E-mail lowest prices today.
Some price gouged items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally price gouged subscribers
Links of the Day
How to Save Money on Gasoline
Gasoline Prices in Your Neighborhood
We’re getting ready to be really patriotic on Memorial Day
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.