Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Was Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane really surprised this past weekend to learn he was being audited? —Mid-Level Snitches at the Cincinnati IRS Office
And how surprised was The Blower when these folks showed up Monday morning? —Artis Conception
The order came straight from the Obama Re-election Campaign. —An Anonymous Cincinnati IRS Official
Kane never should’ve used the 40th anniversary of the Watergate Hearings in the US Senate to ask Blower readers to send all their information about IRS misconduct to help Obama get re-elected in 2012 so The Blower could turn it over to investigators on the House Ways and Means Committee. —G. Gordon Liddy
We wanted copies of that same information so I can begin holding hourly press conferences to report progress in my own investigation of all those Obama Supporters in the Cincinnati IRS Office for possible state civil rights violations. —Republican Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWaking Joe” Deters
The IRS was not hacking The Blower’s website on Monday. We were just doing some unscheduled maintenance and forgot to tell anybody. —Go-Daddy.com
Last week may have been the worst week of Obama’s presidency, but we still published a poll saying his job approval rose. —Obama Supporters at CNN
On this date in 2000, the bones of President James Garfield’s spine were on display at the National Museum of Health and Medicine, but since then, there’s been little evidence of any lawmakers’ spines in the nation’s capital. —Hurley the Historian
Please don’t ask why we say profiling is OK when Conservatives are the ones being profiled. —Liberal Pundits on TV
My question isn’t about who is going to resign. My question is who’s going to jail over this scandal? —GOP House Speaker John Boehner
The Obama Administration did not time the IRS news to distract from the Benghazi scandal. No kidding. —Obama’s White House SpokesDweeb Jay Cardboard
Isn’t it curious that between now and June 9, there are no Obama scandal committee hearings scheduled in the House of Representatives? —Obama Bashers
With so many White House scandals (and new ones popping up every day), wouldn’t it be nice if Obama went on ESPN and mapped them all on a bracket? See your full-size version here. —ESPN
The White House might not have commanded Internal Revenue agents to target conservative groups, but a “culture of intimidation throughout the administration” made them think it was acceptable. —Republican Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell
Sometimes you’d even think the Obama White House acts like it wants to be Nixonian. —Bob Woodward
We don’t want Obama impeached. We tried it with the Pants-Dropper-in-Chief and look how that worked out. Maybe we should just tie Obama up in dozens of criminal investigations for the next 1,339 days so that he has no time for anything other than defending himself. —Ken Starr and his staff
If Congress was half-way serious about preventing people from being targeted by the IRS, instead of just using the latest scandal to continue their own perks and privileges and raise money to get themselves re-elected, they should just pass a Flat Tax or a National Sales Tax to raise all the revenue they’d ever need to run the country and send all those Obama-loving weasels at the IRS packing. —IRS Bashers

I personally know 15 people who wrote out big checks to Mitt Romney and within 90 days got IRS Audit Notices. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
Isn’t it funny that Obama’s IRS official in charge of the tax-exempt office during the targeting of TEA Party groups is now charge of the Obama’s IRS’ health care office? —Fox News
What difference does it make anyway? —Hillary
Are those rogue IRS agents in Cincinnati checking to see if people approve of same-sex marriage? —Ohio US Senator Rob “Fighting for Fancy Boys” Portman
But it’s not just Obama’s failures, or the mendacity of our Obama Supporters in the Press. The Liberal Culture continues to devolve America, and all of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Supporters who re-elected Obama deserve a big part of the credit, too, along with all of the people who didn’t vote, but should have. —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
That’s why we chose Joseph de Maistre’s “Every nation gets the government it deserves.”
TEA Party Patriots across the country claiming they’ve been targeted by Obama’s IRS, should all gather Downtown at noon tomorrow, since Cincinnati is now “the epicenter of their violations of freedom.” —TEA Party Central
How long will it be before the media discovers that the head of the Miami Township TEA Party Larry Heller is actually a former Cincinnati IRS employee himself? How can Heller and his cronies in the Clermont County TEA Party possibly indict the IRS without implicating Heller and the sweet retirement benefits he is collecting from the IRS as he slings mud at them? —Clermont Crusaders
We could wave signs and flags and wear funny hats at a big “Reign in the IRS Rally” at noon on Fountain Square, then storm the IRS Offices in the Federal Building with torches and pitchforks and drag all those Obama-Loving TEA-Party Targeting IRS Agents back to Fountain Square for a little non-partisan tar-and-feathering. —Local TEA Party Guys looking for face time on national TV
Wouldn’t it be funny if all those IRS Protesters marched over to the IRS Processing Center in Covington instead? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer

Sometimes The Blower exposes IRS abuses to show that targeting TEA Party organizations because of their political views is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an Obama Supporter.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially everybody working in the Obama Administration.

IRS TARGETING ABUSE HOTLINE

e-mail your outraged oratory today.

Some IRS abused items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally IRS abused subscribers.

Link of the Day

Saturday Night Live” Opening Sketch: “Al Sharpton” Takes On IRS Scandal

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.