Friday, May 17, 2013
Still More Embarrassment for the City
Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Cincinnati is now the butt of jokes all over the country again this week because of those so-called “Rogue Agents” at the Cincinnati IRS Office who targeted TEA Party patriots to help Obama get re-elected last year.
But so far, the City’s embarrassment is less than that time Girly Mayor Mark Mallory threw out the first pitch at Opening Day.
- Republican Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWaking Joe” Deters can hardly wait to begin holding hourly press conferences to report progress in his own investigation of all those Obama Supporters in the Cincinnati IRS Office for possible state civil rights violations. Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1973, the US Senate began the Watergate Hearings. The JayWalker should be sure to mention that. Deters’ Buddy Ohio GOP Attorney General Mike DeWhine says, “We could prosecute those Dishonest DemocRATS under state law, regardless of the Supremacy Clause of the Constitution that generally prohibits states from imposing criminal sanctions on federal officials for actions taken in discharge of their federal duties. Deters’ other employer $tan Che$ley says “This would be a great time to file a humongous class action suit, if only I hadn’t been disbarred. And Deters’ cousin Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters says, “Call CNN. I’ll defend the IRS lawbreakers pro bono.”
Not to be outdone, “JayWalking Joe” is preparing a motion to volunteer Hamilton County to try that fellow who kidnapped those three women in Cleveland for a decade, since his public defender lawyer told that judge he needed a chage of venue since his kidnapping rapist client couldn’t possibly get a fair trial in Cuyahoga County.
- Our Feckless Fishwrappers are really scrambling to interview all of those IRS criminals in Cincinnati. Not to worry, Obama Supporters at the IRS— Perry Kimball promises he’ll keep your names secret, just like he did for those “new attorneys” for Elmwood Place who called Judge Ruehlman “biased.” It’s a good thing our Society of Unprofessional Journalists extended the deadline for their best stories of 2010. Al Schottlekottee is turning over in his grave.
- Wednesday in the Whistleblower Top Ten List, the Number One Reason those low-level weasels at Obama’s IRS Office in Cincinnati thought they could get away with targeting TEA Party Patriots was… the guys running Obama’s re-election campaign at the White House promised nobody would ever find out, and several of The Blower’s IRS Snitches say, “they were only doing what their bosses told them to do.”
- Hamilton County Sheriff Jim Neil says his office would put out one of his famous “Wanted Posters” if those IRS guys were ever caught on camera robbing a Speedway store in Green Township.
- Former NAALCP Chairman Julian Bond, said it is “entirely legitimate” for the IRS to target the TEA Party. Locally, SMLP Smithermouth says he’ll have to call Chris Finney at COAST before he responds.
Local TEA Partiers say the IRS has targeted TEA Party groups all over the country, but Cincinnati is the epicenter of this “violation of freedom.” Maybe that’s why they’re planning a big “Reign in the IRS Rally” next Tuesday at noon on Fountain Square. Bring your signs, your flags, and wear your funny hats and maybe we can get on TV again.- On late Night TV, comedians are having a field day with Obama’s scandals these days:
Jay Leno says, “First it was Benghazi, then the IRS scandal, and now this phone records scandal. Remember the old days when President Obama’s biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden? What happened to those days?”
David Letterman says, “Obama’s right in the middle of three scandals. The IRS is sticking it to people it doesn’t like. Benghazi, number two. And they say Obama has been phone tapping the AP. So three big scandals, but here’s what I prefer: Weiner and Spitzer. Now those are scandals my writers can really work with.”
And Jimmy Fallon says, “It was just revealed that the Department of Justice secretly recorded the phone calls of AP journalists for two months. Obama promised reporters that the incident will be immediately investigated — by the Department of Justice.”
- Now here’s the best of Wednesday night’s Late Night TV jokes from Politico.
Unfortunately, none of those jokes included a reference to Cincinnati. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Mark Twain’s “When the end of the world Comes, I want to be in Cincinnati. It is always ten years behind the times.”
And maybe that’s why our Society of Unprofessional Journalists is still working on the best stories on 2010.
- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane why The Blower has never been targeted by the IRS. “Maybe it’s because of our fair-and-balanced reporting,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher said.
Stories We’re Working On
Obama calls in Marines to shield him from the rain- Fired IRS Boss was leaving next week anyway
- Obama asked about Nixon comparisons
- Pelosi tries to blame IRS Scandal on George Bush
- Liberals turn on Holder over AP records grab
- Obama’s says “No special counsel needed on IRS Scandal
- IRS softball team cancels game with GOP
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why those low-level weasels at Obama’s IRS Office in Cincinnati thought they could get away with targeting TEA Party Patriots:
(A) They forgot: 2%
(B) They did it to help the homeless: 2%
(C) Like Hillary says, “What’s the difference anyway?”: 2%
(D) The guys running Obama’s re-election campaign at the White House promised nobody would never ever find out: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Celebrating Armed Forces Day
This week, everybody who thinks America should have a day that’s been officially designated to salute each of the men and women in all branches of the service who protect us and our country, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Harley Mather, Sr. in Boondoggle County, whose son PFC Harley Mather, Jr., will be arriving home on leave any day now to beat up a homeless guy at Maifest in Mainstrasse.
Harley, Sr. wins a US Army baseball cap, a US Navy Seals Sweat Shirt, and a US Marine Corps Beer Mug from Patriotic Exploiters, which will all be great conversation starters at today’s Armed Forces Day Picnic. His winning entry is:
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Is to honor those who fight for the American Way.
Wave your flag proudly at a parade
And don’t drink the liberal Kool-Aid
Which is leading us to an advanced state of decay.
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
That’s if it were a day off with pay
Would be to work in the yard
(Although not very hard)
Then drink lots of beer and get laid.
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Is to ignore what the kneepads portray.
They’ll harp on the body bags
’til your patriotism sags,
So just keep Old Glory on display.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s waiting to see “Bronze Star Brad’s” big Armed Forces Day Speech at the Anderson Government Center):
The Best Way to Spend Armed Forces Day
Is to get down on your knees and pray
To thank those in the military
Who now reside in the cemetery
For keeping us free in this month of May
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Would be remembering the price some had to pay
We’re free and secure
Because of what they had to endure
I’m proud of our military, and that’s all I have to say.
The best way to spend Armed Forces Day
Is driving left-wing protestors away
They mock our military
And they love President Barry
And 90 percent of them are gay.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti”
IRS ILLEGALITIES HOT LINE
e-mail your “Nixonian Notions” today.
Some Obama-bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama-bashing subscribers
LINK OF THE DAY
Dennis Miller Takes On Obama Administration Scandals
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
