One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Houseful of Hearings

The first item in yesterday’s Blower predicted Republicans in Congress would be very busy this week scheduling all those IRS and Benghazi hearings. About a third of all House committees are investigating the Obama administration these days. Five separate committee are currently investigating Obama’s Benghazi cover-up, along with a probe into Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’ illegally raising millions of dollars to promote Obamacare, just because House Republicans refused to approve giving her any more over-taxed payers’ funds.

Two separate House committees (Oversight and Government Reform, and Ways and Means) are already probing whether Obama’s IRS was targeting our TEA Party Patriots. The IRS acting director is scheduled to get his balls kicked at a hearing on Friday. Do you think somebody will call for his resignation?

Then Monday evening, some of Obama’s most ardent supporters at the Dissociated Press let slip that Obama’s Justice Department had secretly obtained reporters’ and editors’ phone records on more than 200 phone lines for two months straight. Maybe that subject will come up tomorrow if Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder dares to show up for his fortuitously scheduled lambasting at Wednesday’s House Judiciary Committee hearing.

Monday night, Jay Leno said, “I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don’t want to get audited by the IRS, so forget that.”

Newt Gingrich got off a great zinger: “The Obama Administration won’t profile terrorists, but they will profile patriots.”

And did Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard really say, “The IRS admitting they attacked Anti-Obama Groups is not concrete evidence of an IRS scandal?”

Hurley the Historian says 40 years ago this week the Senate Watergate hearings began exploring the nature of Richard Nixon’s administration. This week, as the Obama administration is being investigated, people need to be reminded that nobody died at Watergate.

Yesterday, 60% of House Republicans had joined the call for a special committee to probe the Benghazi attack, defying House Speaker John Boehner, who insisted that five standing committees should be enough to continue to handle the investigation.

Boehner ought to be glad nobody’s demanding an investigation of last Friday’s marriage of Boehner’s daughter Lindsay to Jamaican-born construction worker Dominic Lakhan. Hey, Mon…be happy!

Lindsay looked lovely in her flowing white strapless gown that showed off a huge tattoo etched across her arm and the groom looked debonair in a rented grey suit with his waist-length dreadlocks on display.

[Sara Nathan at Mail Online has the whole story.]

Closer to Home…

Today it’s the Top Ten Reasons those low-level weasels at Obama’s IRS Office in Cincinnati thought they could get away with targeting TEA Party Patriots:

10. We forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told us she loved us
7. We did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made us do it
5. We just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. We’re DemocRATS
3. We were framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake

…and the Number One Reason those low-level weasels at Obama’s IRS Office in Cincinnati thought they could get away with targeting TEA Party Patriots was… the guys running Obama’s re-election campaign at the White House promised nobody would never find out.

AND IF YOU THINK THAT TOP TEN LIST LOOKS VAGUELY FAMILIAR, you’ll no doubt recall 22 Years Ago This Week (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town). Edition #50, which came out on April 14, 1991 featured the top ten excuses Mickey Esposito planned to use in his defense after the former Hamilton County Deputy Auditor had been indicted on 220 counts of dereliction of duty and false listing of property values.

It’s a good thing The Blower keeps good records. These days at the Hamilton County Courthouse you can’t even find a record of Mickey’s most recent arrest for stealing all that stuff from the Sheriff’s Property Room on Traci Winkler’s Web Page.

TODAY IS POLICE MEMORIAL DAY IN CINCINNATI, and as The Blower predicted, departing Fourteen Star Police Chief James Craig will be on hand to say goodbye. Do you think our Doughboy City Mangler will be there too, passing out pink slips personally to every officer he’s planning to fire to pay for that $17.4 million Clown-cil needs to cover the latest cost overruns (so far) on Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly?
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: When Perry KimBall wrote a big story about the “new attorneys” for Elmwood Place calling Judge Ruehlman “biased,” was KimBall doing the “new attorneys” a big favor when he didn’t actually report “the new attorneys” names, or did KimBall miss that first day in Journalism 101 when they tell you the first paragraph of every story should report the “who, what, where, when, and why” of the story? It’s a good thing the Society of Professional Journalists extended the deadline for their best stories of 2010. They’ll need a whole new category for KimBall.
HOTEL FOR WHORES: Locally, The Fishwrap is really going overboard to get back in the good graces of Western Southern with its tabloid front-page coverage of that settlement of those Anna Louise Inn nuisance lawsuits where Western Southern paid for that beat up whorehouse they always wanted to remodel. And who remembers the last time John Barrett spent $4 million on a bunch of whores? It looks like Western Southern established what Anna Louise was a long time ago, and all this time, they were just negotiating the price. It just proves the old saying true: “When you’re negotiating with hookers, nobody beats a Barrett!,” just like it says on the family crest.
MEANWHILE IN DEER PARK: Shawn “the Pawn” Gavin made an effort clear the opposition for his next Deer Park run, but like most things he does, it was too little, too late. The Fishwrap must have been given a scripted press release to report such detail.

In other Deer Park news, Thursday evening Council Member Charlie “Hassle” Tassell will be joined by County Commissioner Chris “The Monz” Monzel for a Town Hall Meeting, whatever the hell that means!

IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers last year this week in Northern Kentucky as the days were dwindling down to the big May 22 GOP Primary when he hadn’t seen nearly enough attack ads on TV. It was the Establishment versus the Tea Party one more time.

This time it was Goof Doofus and “BeanBall Jim” Bunning backing Trooper Babe State Rep-tile Alecia Webb-Edgington, who has much better looking legs, according to her TV commercials.

For the Tea Party Patriots, U.S. Senator Rand Paul and his father, Texas Congressman/presidential candidate Ron Paul, had endorsed Lewis County Judge-Executive Thomas Massie, who also had the support of the Club for Growth and a Texas-based libertarian super-PAC, Liberty for All, which was spending $500,000 on television on Massie’s behalf.

We never found out who was supporting the other four candidates (Brian D. Oerther, Tom Wurtz, Marcus Carey, and Walter C. Schumm), which is probably OK, since they didn’t either.

And for what it’s worth, former US Rep. Ken Lewis (whoever the hell he is) was supporting Boondoggle County Judge-Executive Gary Moore. A lot of good that did!

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose JFK’s “I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy; Dear Jack, Don’t buy a single vote more than is necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.”

FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S BRIBE LUNCH where a politician was trying to get some unsubstantiated rumors about his opponent in The Blower, Charles Foster Kane was asked about that “False Narrative” the Obama Administration put out in the days immediately following the September 11, 2012 terrorist in Libya, just seven weeks before the 2012 Elections.”You can call it a false narrative or disinformation if you wish,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “but at The Blower, we just call it a lie.”

FALSE NARRATIVE HOT LINE

e-mail your mendacious misinformation today

Some not totally truthful items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally not totally truthful subscribers.

LINK OF THE DAY

NEVER MESS WITH THIS GIRL’S PURSE

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.