Sunday, May 12, 2013
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower reported the 2012 Election may be over, but Obama’s Benghazi Scandal is not. Rand Paul said Hillary is guilty of “dereliction of duty” on Benghazi, but Liberals will continue to protect her at all costs while Benghazi will show Disastrous DemocRATS can’t be trusted with life-or-death decisions because they live in denial.- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was when Mike Huckabee predicted Obama won’t finish out his second term because of the “cover-up” of the deadly attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi and the former Arkansas governor called the affair “more serious than Watergate.”
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was the when Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda we really don’t need to start paying attention until Congress starts impeaching Obama over Benghazi-gate in a Fast and Furious manner.
MONDAY in our Special “Fake Facebook Advisory” E-dition, The Blower asked if you ever wondered why we always tell you to Just say “Hell No” to Social Networking on the Whistleblower Disclaimers Page?
Maybe it’s because somebody is still hosting a Faux Facebook page, posting advisories every day about what’s in the latest e-dition on the Whistleblower Newswire and encouraging Facebook fans to become Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s “Facebook Friends.”
You wouldn’t believe how many unsuspecting people have fallen for that trick. There are people from all walks of life on that Faux Friends list. You have rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.
One of our Faux Facebook Friends is even Eric ‘Call Me Crazy,’ Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters who unsuccessfully pursued a frivolous fool-for-a-client SLAPP Suit against The Blower. No kidding!
So please— think before you send us your Faux Facebook Friend Request. All of you Persons of Consequence who subscribe to The Blower should really have something better to do with your time. We would feel just a little guilty if we thought we were in any way responsible for contributing to anybody’s Chronic Facebook Addiction, so they would have to join “Facebooks Anonymous” and go to all those stupid meetings. You should be working on your business, or homework, or yard work, or car, your relationship or even your marriage… but instead, you’re wasting your lives away on Facebook!
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Stealth Tax Levies” E-dition, The Blower said “At least Whistleblower readers know about them!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Was it a only a coincidence that a year to the day after Obama kicked off his victorious re-election campaign on our college campus, Obama returned to give our commencement address? —THE Ohio State University
When Obama told us, “I don’t pretend to have all the answers,” it was really no surprise. —New OSU Graduates
Please don’t report how fast we’re deserting Obama’s sinking ship on Benghazi and Syria. —D-RATS in Congress
Really, what does it matter at this point? —Hillary, Hoping for Another Pass
When we heard “whistleblowers” would be testifying in about Congress tomorrow about Obama’s Benghazi-gate cover-up, many people thought we were being called. —Whistleblower Readers
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told us only after Congress starts impeaching Obama over Benghazi-gate in a Fast and Furious manner, should we start paying attention. —Members of the Conservative Agenda
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Whistleblower Wednesday” E-dition, The Blower said, “Now we can see if it “really matters!””
Everybody’s waiting to hear those four whistle-blowing witnesses scheduled to testify to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee today, especially if they tell a story contradicting those noxious notions the Obama administration has been telling for the past eight months to cover up their political cover-up of the murder of those four Americans by murdering Muslim Terrorists at the American Embassy in Benghazi on the anniversary of 9/11.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Annual “Lost Sock Memorial Day” E-dition, Hillary said, “What does it really matter?”
Today’s the day to reorganize your drawer full of unmatched socks. Remember, each unmatched sock represents a missing sock. You never throw away your unmatched socks. After all, they all might show up someday.
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1960, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the world’s first commercially produced birth control pill–Enovid-10.
And Bobby Leach says that’s the last day he ever wore a rubber.
Does size really matter? You bet. Especially when you go to Walgreen’s to buy a condom and the clerk asks if you’d like to try it on before you leave the store.
Maybe that’s why our quote for today committee chose Joan Rivers’ “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY in our Special “Almost Mother’s Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “You should thank your mom for being Pro Life!”
This week, everybody who’s glad his mother didn’t ditch him in a dumpster, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner was MF Goodson, who says his mother deserves a much better Mother’s Day than he’s able to afford without asking her for the money.
MF wins a “World’s Worst Mom” coffee mug from K-mart, a Mother’s Day Card his wife made with crappy clip art downloaded from the internet, and a voice-mail message from the nursing home reminding him that he hasn’t called visited his own mother for the last six months. His winning entry is:
On Sunday, it’s your Mother’s Day.
To show her you’re grateful, just say,
Thanks for making me wear dresses,
And for brushing my tresses,
It’s no wonder I turned out to be gay.”
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s still not successfully completed his racial sensitivity correspondence course):
On Sunday, it’s your Mother’s Day.
You should buy her a lovely bouquet.
Don’t say come to our house,
She’ll make you feel like a louse
If you send her home when she wants to stay.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Official “Mother’s Day Eve” E-dition, The Blower said, “What’s a home without a mother? Filthy!”
Mother’s Day is getting to be too commercial. This year they started putting up decorations right after Kwanzaa. Then there’s all that Mother’s Day music on the radio and everybody goes around wishing each other “Happy Mother’s Day,” even if you’re Jewish, but then their “Why Haven’t You Called Your Mother” celebration lasts for eight days. (Cincinnati Bell says Mother’s Day is the one day each year your mom won’t mind if you call her collect.) And all those Mothers you see in the stores aren’t the real Mother. They’re only Mother’s little helpers. And on Mother’s Day Eve, little children will be waiting for that Big Mother to come down the chimney. But you know they’re really hyping it, when you see Mother’s Day cards for fathers at Walgreens. No wonder a group calling itself Mothers Acting Up is holding a big parade tomorrow to help lead the observance of Mother’s Day back to its roots. Of course, hairy-legged Feminists will be against Mother’s Day. And now we know why our Quote for Today Committee chose “Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.”
[READ MORE HERE]
Seediest Kids of All
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
Obamanations
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY DURING THE DARK AGES OF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION: In spite of the Obama’s most recent latest Benghazi and IRS Scandals, Obama once again spent Saturday on the golf course. It was his 122nd time since taking office.
And does anybody remember when Obama was giving the commencement address at Arizona State University in 2009 and he joked about auditing the president of ASU and their board of regents. The IRS apologized on Friday for unfairly targeting TEA Party groups with extra scrutiny about their tax status.
- QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: Friday, after IRS apologist Lois Lerner said, “I’m not good at math,” our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “The taxpayer: that’s someone who works for the federal government, but doesn’t have to take a civil service examination.”
- WHITE HOUSE WTF: Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard is now blaming Mitt Romney for “Politicizing Benghazi.”
- BENGHAZI BACKFIRE: Even Did somebody on PMSNBC actually call Obama’s Benghazi scandal a cover-up?
- SEQUESTER INSINCERITY: Tuesday was another “Forget Sequester Day,” when he hopped on Air Force One (costing a mere $181,000 per hour) to travel to Austin, Texas on his Pointless Over-Taxed Payer-Funded “Campaign Style” Jobs Tour while the White House remains closed to the public. Meanwhile, the Mooch told an audience attending her book signing Tuesday that the White House garden is still “semi-open to the public” because visitors can see it through the fence.
- CROOKS IN CONGRESS: The House oversight committee will look into the IRS’s admission Friday that it targeted conservative groups for special scrutiny during last year’s elections — a move that committee Chairmen Darrell E. Issa and Jim Jordan said smacks of “political retaliation.” The two lawmakers said they will hold those IRS officials who were involved “responsible … for this political retaliation.” (Whatever that’s supposed to mean.)
- OBAMANOMICS 101: 61% of College-Age Students want government to stay out of their lives. Unfortunately, these same Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Voters think a third term for Obama would be a wonderful idea.
Then and Now
Liberalizing America
MEDIA MENDACITY: ABC journalist Jon Karl accidentally followed up on Wednesday’s Benghazi hearings, exposing that CIA talking points on the September 11, 2012 terrorist attack were “dramatically edited” a total of 12 times by the administration.- DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD: At Tuesday, Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters (whose name was misspelled when he was announced as featured speaker at next Monday’s Sam Malone fund-raiser) proclaimed three more Dishonest DemocRAT voter fraud indictments. Margaret Allen, Ernestine Strickland (No relation to our former gayvenor), and Andre Wilson all face the possibility of up to 18 months in prison. Still to come is a statement from Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka calling Deters a “racist.”
- UNION BLUES: AFL-CIO Union boss Rich Trumka has taken the White House to task for the president’s support of a Walmart program to expedite hiring of military veterans, instead of union workers.
Boston Bomber Updates
STATE-SPONSORED TERRORISM: The Tsarnaev family, including the suspected terrorists and their parents, benefited from more than $100,000 in over-taxed payer-funded assistance — a bonanza ranging from cash and food stamps to Section 8 housing from 2002 to 2012. Is Obama’s America a great place to live or what? Tamerlan Tsarnaev and younger brother Dzhokhar received transitional welfare benefits as children through their parents, who immigrated to the U.S. in 2002 as political refugees. Tamerlan also received benefits between 2011 and 2012 through his wife Katherine, who was receiving benefits along with their three-year-old daughter.- CAIR CARES: Terrorist Apologists at the Council on American-Islamic told Congress investigating the Boston Bombings to focus on right wing extremists.
- OVER-TAXED PAYER SUPPORTED TERRORISTS: A mountain of new welfare records shows numerous EBT card cash withdrawals made by the Tsarnaev family, but so far there is no information about how terrorist Tamerlan Tsarnaev and others may have spent the money.
More Politics Unusual
OBAMACARE UPDATE: This week, Obama called Obamacare’s $1 Trillion Tax Hike the “Largest Health Care Tax Cut In Our History.” No kidding.- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s “Mother’s Day is on Sunday. Americans will spend between $17 billion and $20 billion on Mother’s Day. The average spending is about $169 per mom — which is the reason NBA players need so much money.”
- TEA PARTY PRINCIPLES: The TEA Party movement got the biggest gift in history when Obama’s IRS actually apologized for targeting TEA Party groups during last year’s election cycle.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen asks if anyone in Washington listening. At week’s end, a Senate committee put increased border security on the back burner in an immigration reform plan that would move millions of illegal immigrants closer to citizenship. But most voters continue to say that border security has to come first, and few believe the federal government is serious about that part of the bargain.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 2002, Dingbat DemocRAT Jimmy Carter embarrassed us all when he let Fidel Castro look down on him in Cuba and Whistleblower Readers have been laughing about that ever since.- SHAMELESS SOLICITING: So far, The Blower has only received 37 e-mails from conservative elected officials and organizations calling for Congress to investigate the IRS for targeting TEA Party organizations before Obama’s re-election last year, and amazingly, only half of those e-mails were using that scandal to raise money.
More Unresolved Issues
- G-UNCONTROL: The NRA says we don’t need Gun Control, maybe we need Biden Control.
- ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: In case you missed it, the Dissociated Press recently made some changes to its official “Stylebook,” the guide journalists use to determine what words and phrases they should or should not use in their reportage. The new edict declares terms like “illegal alien, an illegal, illegals or undocumented” as verboten. The Blower Stylebooks says illegal aliens should now be called “Undocumented DemocRATS.”
- RACIAL HEALING: The Political Correctness Council believes banning Mother’s Day could go a long way to foster racial harmony in these troubled times, because if a white person ever called a black person a “Mother,” on Yo Momma’s Day, such blatant insensitivity just might start another race riot.
- GAY NEWS UPDATE: When the Boys Scouts meet in Dallas on May 22-24, will Rob “Fighting for Fancy Boys” Portman be a guest speaker?
- OBAMA’S IMPEACHMENT: For all the folks who say that Obama has not committed an impeachable offense, America’s Conservative News has a list of 100 potential impeachable offenses.
- BABY-KILLING 101: Obama’s White House marked Mother’s Day by celebrating Free Birth Control Under Obamacare.
MURDERING MUSLIM UPDATE: The United States Postal Service has issued a new Forever Stamp to remember and honor the EID Muslim holiday season commemorative 46 Cent First Class Holiday Postage Stamp. Apparently they think that putting hearts and butterflies on the new stamp will make most people think it’s just a colorful drawing, and not realize that it is Arabic and probably NOT something we want to support.
[ NOW CHECK OUT THESE GRUESOME PICTURES COURTESY OF THOSE PEACEFUL MUSLIMS]
Closer to Home
MAYOR MADNESS: The First Official Debate of the Cincinnati’s Mayoral Race just might take place in Clifton between 5-6 PM Monday evening in that little park across the street from Graeters, wherever the hell that is. Loony Libertarian Candidate Jim Berns and somebody named Stacy Smith will surely be there. Organizers are still waiting to hear from lesser-known candidates like Cranley and Qualls, since neither of them was endorsed by COAST. Now let’s meet the people who will be costing Cincinnati Over-taxed Payers $200,000 for a mayoral primary election.- BLUE ASH BLUES: Republicans for Higher Taxes discussed the felony indictment of Robert “Bo” Weber, son of Blue Ash Mayor Mark Weber. They were especially impressed with the multiculturalism displayed by the three young men who were arrested for these alleged crimes. The Blower is surprised The Fishwrap didn’t publicize that diversity in their coverage.
SO WHY DID THE FORREST GUMP SCHOOL DISTRICT LOSE ITS STEALTH TAX LEVY ON TUESDAY? “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman remembers how Anderson Tea Party Patriot Alexander Glaser’s impassioned plea to the Anderson GOP Club carried the day over “every school tax is good and necessary no matter what” school board member and perennial tax increaser Randy Smith.
Anderson Township Fiscal Officer Ken “Just One More Budweiser, Please” Dietz says, “Damn, now the over-taxed payers of Anderson Township will have to pay another $72,000 when those bastards at the FHSD put the issue on the August ballot.”
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders salacious and titillating e-newsletter is on cyber newsstands today. This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features burglars, thieves, and plenty of other faces that only a mother could love. Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff says the Robster doesn’t put out an official “Mother’s Day E-dition” of his e-rag because the jail doesn’t cross reference the felon’s mothers by mugshot. Maybe we can talk to Terry “the Smiling Jailer” Carl and see if he can’t make that happen.
More Political Insight This Week
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: In an effort to try to calm all of the controversy involving her incompetence, Disgraced DemocRAT Hamilton County Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter got Kim Tandy, Executive Director of the Children’s Law Center, Inc. to write a letter supportive of Hunter in Friday’s Fishwrap. There’s only one problem: According to its website, Tandy’s agency is based in Kentucky and only does work in the Kentucky Court system so they don’t have to deal with Hunter and all her crazy antics in the Courtroom over here in OhIo. [SEE IT HERE]- GOING GALT: If you’re taking your mother out for lunch today, make sure you ask your server if he, she, or he/she voted for Obama, and if they did, don’t leave a tip.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #134 is to tell a joke:
Q: Why is the health care plan called “Obamacare,” not “Obamacares?”
A: Because he doesn’t.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the warm spring weather, we found this in his “Tulips and Trollops,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Salute to Style”
The pants today are worn so low
It makes you really wonder
If she wants to tell you
She’s wearing nothing under.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all the trouble Obama’s IRS got itself into when they apologized for targeting all those TEA Party organizations while those low-level IRS employees in Cincinnati were doing their part helping get Obama re-elected last year. “Why do you think The Blower never apologizes?” Kane asked.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday we’ll be publishing our Annual “Moms and MILFs” E-dition and we’ll still be counting down the 1,348 days until Obama’s “historic” Third Term begins.
Tuesday will be wondering when the Stock Market will fall back to Earth “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” take analyze the latest economic conditions.
Wednesday we’ll be celebrating Police Officer’s Memorial Day, which honors and remembers police officers who gave their lives while on duty.
Thursday will be “Wear Purple for Peace Day,” and just wait till you hear what those lunatic organizers of that day were trying to say.
The first line of Friday’s limerick is: “The Best Way to Spend Armed Forces Day.”
And on Saturday, we’ll honoring the military, while we check out to see which restaurants are offering free meals to veterans, or if we have to wait until Veterans Day for our free “Bloomin’ Onions” at Outback.
Sunday Comix
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day
Republican Benghazi Attack Ad (They forgot to use during the 2012 campaign)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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