Saturday, March 23, 2013

Overcome by Empathy

NOW WE KNOW WHY NOW: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says we now know why so-called Ohio Conservative Senator chose to come out in favor of homosexual marriage last week. He’s only known about his gay son for two years. Do you think Portman was among those 130 Republicans who signed an amicus brief to the Supreme Court urging justices to support the freedom to marry when SCOTUS hears arguments on California’s Proposition 8 gay marriages next week? The effort is being organized by Ken Mehlman, former gay chairman of the Republican National Committee when Portman served in the Bush White House.
IN WASHINGTON: Our DC Newsbreaker says when both Houses of Congress have passed so-called Budgets that will never be enacted into law, Members of Congress can totally disregard that “No Budget, No Pay” business and will continue to receive their ill-gotten $174,000-per-year salaries plus benefits.
OUTRAGE IN OHIO: Lovely Lori Viars Vice President, Warren County Right to Life, says a statewide coalition of social and fiscal conservative leaders in Ohio today announced a rejection of the current direction of the state Republican leadership. The group opposes Governor Kasich Taylor’s KasichCare expansion, Portman’s homosexual empathy, and the choice of Matt Borges to replace Bob Bennett as Ohio Republican Party Chairman. We’ll see how much any of that gets discussed if Portman dares to show up to speak at tonight’s Butler County Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner.
SCHOOL FOR FOOLS: Another event about which people are wondering if anybody will show up is at the Hamilton County RINO Party’s Annual Campaign School where seminar topics should include:

OPENING SESSION

“Call it Voter Outreach: How Spending All My Time at Findlay Market and Great American Ball Park helps the Republican Party” by Chairman Alex Triantafilou

BREAKOUT SESSION #1

“Looking Down Your Nose At Everyone… Right Into Their Wallet: How Denigrating Everyone Who Isn’t Like You Is An Effective Fund-Raising Strategy” by Republican Party Finance Director Margaret Nafziger Wuellner

“To Understand Thine Enemy, First Become Him: What a New York City DemocRAT is Learning About the GOP” by Ashwin Corratiyil, Republican Party Executive Director and Former John Kerry Operative in NYC

LUNCH- WE ARE PAYING TOP-DOLLAR TO A UNION-SHOP CATERER SO ENJOY THAT $12 HAM ON RYE

BREAKOUT SESSION #2

“No Resume Required, Just Birth Certificates and Marriage Licenses: An Inside Look at Republican Endorsement and Hiring Processes” by assorted members of the Winkler, Deters, and Blessing clans

“Knowing the Real Enemy: Why It Is So Much More Important to Criticize Other Republicans than any Democrat” by Sycamoron Township Trustee Cliff Bishop and Former Colerain Township Trustee and Jon Husted’s Current Regional Director Extraordinaire for Jon Husted Secretary of State Jon Husted, Keith “I Am The Greatest Republican Who Ever Lived” Corman

AFTERNOON BREAK TO WATCH SOME SPORTS EVENT ON TV AND ARGUE OVER WHO IS THE GREATEST REPUBLICAN IN THE ROOM

BREAKOUT SESSION #3

“Destroying Your Fellow Republican Personally and Professionally after Humiliating Her Politically: Why We Must Never Stop Hating Republican Women” by Sycamoron Township Trustee and Great American Tom Weidman

“Raising Taxes to Fund Liberal Give-Away Programs: The Key to Republican Revival in the Suburbs” by the Blue Ash and Sharonville RINOs on City Council

CLOSING SESSION

“Changing Demographics: The All-Purpose Excuse to Justify Our Total Incompetence When We Keep Losing Elections” presented by Bob Bedinghaus, Carl Parrott, Sean Donovan, Phil Heimlich, Jim Raussen and Rebecca Prem Groppe

MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE “Matthew 15:14 Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”
MEANWHILE, BACK IN COLUMBUS: Citizens for Community Values will also be preparing candidates for office at its upcoming all-day training session on March 30. And who do you suppose is teaching this course?
LOONY LIBERTARIANS: Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns has issued a challenge to his two opponents (Liberal John Cranley and Really Liberal Foxy Roxy Qualls) even though they are not yet on the ballot like he is to see who can collect the most signatures in the Parking Meter Madness drive. The Blower may be going out on a limb here, but we predict Foxy Roxy is not going come in first.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1888, Vincent Van Gogh chopped off his ear and gave it to a prostitute, but today Jerry Springer says streetwalkers outside the new Horseshoe Casino in Downtown Cincinnati will still take a check.
DISBARMENT DOLDRUMS Now that $tan Che$ley has been disbarred in Kentucky, the entire local legal community is wondering what will become of “Cincinnati Legal,” especially part-timers like Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception might have to do an update.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES endorse disbarred-in-Kentucky attorney Stan Chesley to be Chief Legal Counsel for the Ohio Republican Party (ORP). With convicted criminal Matt Borges soon to become ORP Chairman, they believe the ORP should double-down on the outlaw theme as part of the ORP’s outreach to ex-cons who vote.
A TROUBLED TROIKA: All three of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s main benefactors who helped keep her in office all those years are having a tough time this week. First, Rob “Fighting for Fellatio” Portman is getting a rude awakening over his evolved position on homosexual marriages, $tan Che$ley just got disbarred by the Kentucky Bar Association, and down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says the reason there seem to be so many stories in Skaggie Maggie’s new format is because they can’t sell any ads. Now we’re all waiting for WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham to get his long-overdue comeuppance.
AT THE ANDERSON TEA PARTY: Angry Andrew is telling people about Thursday’s successful meeting of four liberty groups in $tate Rep-tile FOR $ALE Pete $tautberg’s District 27 to contact Republican voters in key precincts and STOP THE MEDICAID EXPANSION in Ohio. So far, phone calls have stalled the House vote on Medicaid Expansion, and the vote won’t come until after Easter Break. If you want to get in on the fun next week, contact: info@andersonteaparty.org
IN CLERMONT COUNTY: In another misstep in his brief career as State Rep-tile, Clermont County’s John Becker is now shilling for big corporations that want to screw small villages and cities and avoid transferring their employees’ municipal taxes directly to the local governments. Bend over Milford and prepare to take one from Becker. Message to Becker, stop being a shill of big corporation and support your local citizens.
AUDIT UPDATE: The Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office isn’t the first place Scott Greenwood and Tom Streicher will have provided collaborative policing and accountability solutions to police departments across the country. Take the usage of video cameras by police, for example. Officer.com reports former Cincinnati Police Chief Tom Streicher saying that in addition to cameras, departments should also have specific use policies in place. Streicher and our Whistleblower Legal Dream Team Chairman have already constructed a model policy to guide departments wading into unknown video waters. We can hardly wait to see what our Dynamic Duo has to say about TASERs.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Trollwatchers who have to cross that damn Bent Spence Bridge twice a day can hardly wait to hear what Conservative Kentucky U.S. Senator Rand Paul has to say about funding for a new span. The Blower says Rand’s followers are already line up on the riverbank waiting for him to part the waters.

And the CamBoozler says here’s an update on yesterday’s story about the reason why Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters has been absent from his morning radio show on the Class X Radio stations FM 88.9 and FM 89.1 with a combined listenership of 14 people. Eric told Feckless Fishwrapper John Quichwarmer he would be on sabbatical through the end of the year because his law firm has “Exploded.” Actually, Members of the Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) say they heard that ClassX Radio owner Bill Spry had fired Eric’s worthless ass.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane the best way for a Republican to get some free publicity these days. “Here’s a suggestion,” Kane offered. “Have lunch with a Flamer at Chick-Fil-A while you’re wearing a Gay Rights button and bring along a cameraman.”

PORTMAN PUMMELING HOT LINE

e-mail your rants and slants today.

Some Portman-bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Portman-bashing subscribers, but we could always use a lot more.

Link of the Day

Heathers – I love my dead gay son

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Monthly Archives: March 2013

Special “Pandering Parents” E-dition