Friday, March 15, 2013
Happy Ides of March, Everybody!
The big day has finally arrived, and you Backstabbers will finally get some of the recognition you deserve. Hurley the Historian says today’s the historic date (March 15, 44 BCE) when Roman Emperor Julius Caesar ignored his soothsayer’s words of warning and went to work that day anyway, whereupon Brutus and the rest of the RINOs in the Senate stabbed him in the back, and the front, and just about every other place on his body.- All this week nominations have been flooding in for The Blower’s “2013 Backstabber of the Year Award.” Obama doesn’t need a special award. Anybody who’s not a Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Supporter realizes Obama’s been stabbing America in the back for years, just like all those Obama Supporters in the Press.
In Congress, it was too hard to choose just one backstabber, although all those people who worked on “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign and didn’t get jobs might disagree.- Clermont County Cronies wanted to know if “Mean Jean” Schmidt really called Governor Kasich Taylor the minute she heard that State Board of Education member Jeff Hardin had passed away trying to secure his spot on the state school board, and if she somehow got the job, would she would use the entire $4,000-a-year stipend to pay off those illegal legal fees she got from those Turkish Terrorists?
- Tea Party Patriots overwhelmingly favored giving Ohio’s ObamaCare-Loving Governor Kasich Taylor the honor.
- People getting petitions signed at this weekend’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade think our Backstabber Award should go to all those Trolley-Folly Loving members on Cincinnati City Clown-cil who voted for Girly Mayor Mallory’s bogus “Emergency Clause” in the City’s Parking Lot Plot.
All over Hamilton County, Conservatives wanted to nominate RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP for backstabbing Real Republicans for even longer than Obama’s been backstabbing America.- In Anderson, Disgraced Masturbating Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien nominated fellow Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson, and tax hikers at the Forrest Gump School District wanted to honor WLW Hate Radio’s Darryl Parks for telling his listeners “Anybody who votes for a school levy is stupid.”
- In Northern Kentucky Tonight at Mainstrasse bars, Backstabbers drink free, and for those on the “A” List, it’s Miss Vicki’s Ides of March Party. And don’t forget, all of you Bluegrass Backstabbers, this year, it’s BYOK (Bring Your Own Knives).
Eric ‘Call Me Crazy,’ Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters nominated a lot of people for The Blower’s Backstabber of the Year Award, including The Robster, The Whistleblower, American Bar Association President William T. Robinson III, the entire Bluegrass Bar Association, and Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” was doing for free.- Finally, at yesterday’s bribe lunch with an elected official where Charles Foster Kane always sits with his back against the wall, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher told the “bribor” he remembers every time somebody has ever tried to stab him in the back. “You’ve read The Blower,” Kane explained, “so you know what kind of records we must keep.”
Stories We’re Working On
Hugo Chavez still dead- Obama endorses Senate Dems’ $1 Trillion tax Hike
- No gays at CPAC
- How Judge Winkler will rule today on City’s Parking Plot
- Why Mickey Esposito stole from Sheriff’s property room
- Reds now 5-12 in Spring Training
- Drones over Devou Park
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most Irish guys would like to be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day on Sunday:
(A) Drinking and carousing: 2%
(B) Watching that stupid parade: 1%
(C) Painting their peckers green: 1%
(D) Watching Erin Go Braless: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
What Saith, Soothsayer?
This week, everybody who attended the Whistleblower’s big “Political Backstabbers Day” celebration on the “Ides of March” to commemorate the date Julius Caesar got stabbed 137 times in the back at a toga party, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is our Anonymous Backstabber at the courthouse, who says “It’s always more fun stabbing somebody in the back when they don’t know who you are.”
Anonymous wins rear-view glasses so he can watch his own back, a K-tel knife sharpener, and his immediate induction into the Backstabbing Politicians Hall of Fame. His winning limerick is:
Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day.”
After the voters have all had their say.
To all their chagrin
Whoever gets in
The bronze gods will have feet of clay.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who always says, (After you.”):
Celebrating political backstabbing day
When Brutus took Caesar away
Treachery never abates
It’s just new victims, new dates
For a politician, it’s whatever makes hay.
We could talk about Ron Paul and McCain
And Lindsay of South Carolina fame
But when push comes to shove
There’s only one thing politicos love
Making profit on someone else’s pain.
But if you really want to know about today
Just ask a Carney named Jay
He deserves an award
For being the most cardboard
He’s a butt-kisser, that’s all I can say.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“On Wednesday, it was BB&BJ Day”
BACKSTABBER AWARD HOT LINE
e-mail your nastiest nominations today.
Some backstabbing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally backstabbing subscribers, but we could always use more.
Link of the Day
“Lighten Up Francis” (“Stripes”)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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