Special “The Week That Was” E-dition

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Blower’s Week in Review

  • image005OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was the long-awaited opening of the Horseshoe Casino downtown and Tino Delgato said it was convenient that outgoing Mayor Mallory could be back in town. He should be back again for Opening Day or any Obama visit. Mallory was asked NOT to throw any dice due to his limp wrist problem. Keep in mind it was former Mayor Charlie Luken who got the ball rolling on Ohio Casinos. Tino says the new Horseshoe Casino expects to draw six million visitors annually. That’s about 16,500 patrons per day. Now that is some good Horse Shit. And based on early attendance at the Horseshoe Casino, Mahogany’s should’ve located there instead of the Banks. In fact, a drive-thru window on the Reading Road side of the Casino would have been ideal.
  • OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was the total mess our Nine Fine Clowns on Clown-cil made of their Parking Lot Plot that wound up in court. City Solicitor John Curp failed to get the Plaintiffs’ Temporary Restraining Order dismissed, especially after Federal Judge Michael Barrett (who usually has things well in hand) was late for the hearing because he couldn’t find a parking place. Plaintiff’s attorney Curt Hartman said the final resolution on Friday was that his Hamilton County restraining order was still in place and the hearing on the matter would be held on March 15, at 10 AM before Judge Robert Winkler, in the renowned jurist’s biggest landmark case since Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters unsuccessfully sued The Blower. March 15 is also the Ides of March, and over-taxed payers of the City of Cincinnati surely know who will playing the part of Brutus.
  • AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when a controversial display on the University of Cincinnati campus of women’s vaginas is caused quite a stir. [SEE JEFF HIRSCH’S TV 12 NEWS COVERAGE HERE] The Blower asked our good friend Bobby Leach to cover the story several days ago and we didn’t hear from him for several days. Whistleblower Alternate Life-styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis were wondering when UC would be showing the “Big Cock and Balls Display.” Meanwhile, the Catholic Church was worried the vile-and-disgusting display would ruin sales at all their church fish dinners, if people were tired of looking at Red Snappers. Erotic Reporter Mike Hunt said he was not trying to split hairs, but the display wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and Natorp’s should’ve been called to trim those overgrown bushes. And there was no truth to the rumor that TheDirty.com had reported those 4×6 posters were really life-size photos of former Ben-Gals’ genitalia.
  • image009MONDAY in our Special “Last Year, This Weekend” E-dition, The Blower we were all getting ready for Tuesday’s big Ohio Primary Election and Republicans were on a roll.

Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said on this weekend last year Republicans all over Ohio were looking forward with hope and optimism because the GOP had all those great presidential candidates.

Any one of them could’ve beaten Obama. We heard about it every day on Faux News.

The Blower was even counting down the days until the election.

Now we’re looking forward to another “1,418 Days of a Divided America during Obama’s Second Term.

If only somebody had figured on all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Supporters who are now getting exactly what they voted for. Some people today even call them “Low Information Voters” because of how stupid they were. Maybe that’s why The Fishwrap publishes its endorsements on the weekend before an election.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • image010TUESDAY in our Special “Upset Tuesday Anniversary” E-dition, The Blower That’s when our gloating really began and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:

A year ago today Republicans were looking forward with hope and optimism on Ohio’s 2012 Primary Election Day because the GOP had all those great presidential candidates and any one of them could’ve beaten Obama, according to Faux News. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders

Remember how we reported that Congresswoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt stayed in DC on primary election day last year, even having lunch with the Turkish Ambassador? —Politico

And we described the Whistleblower’s reporting as “not at all inaccurate” in Bronze Star Brad Wenstrup’s famous “second endorsement.” —Highland County Press Publisher Rory Ryan

All of which is probably more important than when the Hula Hoop was patented on this date in 1963, if you don’t count the inventor’s heirs. —Hurley the Historian

[READ MORE HERE]

  • image012WEDNESDAY in our Another “Whistleblower Gloating” E-dition, The Blower said Obama just can’t stop gloating!

Christmas came early at the Whistleblower Newswire’s offices a year ago, and the entire staff stayed up late to put out a special edition to that Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt had finally been defeated, because the Maggie/Che$ley/Cunningham cabal was unable to save Old Wrinkle-Puss one last time. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane even invited everybody to join The Whistleblower Munchkin Chorus singing, “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead.”

image014Throughout Ohio’s Second Congressional District, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who were trying to take credit for being the one who’d finally driven a wooden steak through “Mean Jean’s” heart, because when the votes were counted, Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup had soundly defeated our Dead Bitch-in-a-Ditch.

But our Quote for Today Committee remembers in 1961, responding to a question by a journalist about the Bay of Pigs, JFK said: “…victory has 100 fathers and defeat is an orphan.”

Hurley the Historian says in 1990, John Boehner got 49% of the vote when he defeated corrupt incumbent Buz Lukens in the Republican Primary. “Bronze Star Brad” only got 48.79%. So if it’s any consolation to Her Meanness, it would appear that Second District Republican voters view her as only slightly less horrible than a convicted sex offender.

[READ MORE HERE]

  • THURSDAY, in our Special “Gambling Fever” E-dition, The Blower said your odds of winning are really great!

Top Ten List

image016Today it’s the top ten excuses Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Brad Greenberg gave his wife after she caught him with a couple of floozies at the Horseshoe Casino:

10. They were just volunteers for my next campaign.
9. I was considering their appeal.
8. They’re moonlighting from their day jobs as bailiffs at the Courthouse.
7. They wanted to show me their ankle monitor bracelets.
6. They asked me if I had a gavel in my pocket.
5. They were trying to sell me some hair restorer.
4. They wanted to make sure my wife wasn’t wearing the same outfit.
3. Jerry Springer introduced us.
2. Floozies? What Floozies?

…And the number one excuse Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Brad Greenberg gave his wife after she caught him with a couple of floozies at the Horseshoe Casino was… Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP said my wife would never find out.

[READ MORE HERE]

  •  image018FRIDAY in our “Forgotten, But Not Gone” E-dition, The Blower asked, “People were still cursing “Mean Jean!”

 A Person of Consequence we’ll call “Ken” said “I’ve been a loyal subscriber for years but I have to say the day I see a report that doesn’t mention ‘Mean Jean’ will make me very happy! Get over it! Nobody cares about her except you!”

Hadn’t The Blower pretty much said it all in our January 5 “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead” E-dition, the first day after she was no longer in Congress? [SEE THAT E-DITION HERE]

Not exactly, Ken. Aren’t Republicans like elephants, never supposed to forget?

So perhaps it was time once again for Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto (Let’s all say it together):

Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.

Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.

And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for RINO Bitches!

[READ MORE HERE]

  • image019SATURDAY in our Special “Quality Time” E-dition, The Blower said, “What a difference a year makes!”

IT WAS ALMOST TIME TO SPRING FORWARD: Now where’d we put those damn instructions for changing the time on our new digital watch? Our Quote for Today Committee likes Gary Shandling’s I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was on the night the clocks are set ahead. But actually, as confusing as the reasons for Daylight Savings Time are, you shouldn’t forget Yogi Berra’s scientific explanation: “It gets late earlier out there.”

SPEAKING OF TELLING TIME: Our Campaign Countdown Clockwatcher told us now there are only 59 more days till the Forrest Gump School District’s Stealth Tax Hike Election, and Greedy Media Ad Salesmen can hardly wait for all those negative commercials to start running.

OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “Liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25-to-life would be appropriate.”

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN said on this date in 1954, Senate Republicans leveled criticism at DemocRAT-turned-Republican Joseph McCarthy and took action to limit his power. The criticism and actions were indications that McCarthy’s glory days as the most famous investigator of communist activity in the United States were coming to an end. Do you think Bluegrass Senator Rand Paul will remember this date?

[READ MORE HERE]

Seediest Kids of All

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

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 SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today. 

More Politics Unusual

  • image021REVOLTING RINOS: So-called GOP Senators John McCain and Lindsey were pulling Obama’s wagon instead of supporting Real Republican Rand Paul’s historic filibuster, as seen by Photoshop Spoofer Edward Cropper.
  • MORE WHITE HOUSE HYPOCRISY: Obama blamed Sequester for suspending public tours at the White House, but first family trips and vacations are still in swing.
  • DUMBED-DOWN DEMOCRATS: Doesn’t everybody remember when Anti-gun DemocRAT Senator Dianne Feinstrein said, “I carried a concealed weapon, if somebody was going to try and take me out, i was going to take them with me?”
  • MEDIA MENDACITY: NewsBusters Publisher Brent Bozell Bozell says Obama Supporters in the Press waved pom-poms for Obama on Sequester, but are now ‘Sad’ that all those doom-and-gloom predictions failed to Pan Out.
  • OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Conan O’Brien’s “Obama took a group of Republicans to dinner last night. And at the end of the meal, the president personally picked up the tab. Afterwards, Republicans said, “Typical Democrat. Spend, spend, spend.
  • UNION BLUES: Will Union Members be forced to contribute when Big Labor starts pouring money into Obama’s so-called Organizing for America group?
  • TEA PARTY PRINCIPLES: In your heart, you know they’re right. Americans favor Tea Party principles over progressive ideas by 2-to-1 margin.
  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says despite record stock market gains and a slightly improved jobs picture this week, Americans still express a lot of uncertainty about the economy and the future in general.
  • CLOWNS IN CONGRESS: GOP House Speaker John Boehner insists the next debt-ceiling increase must be matched by spending cuts, even if Obama mends fences with Republicans.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell summoned his assistant in another room by saying, “Mr. Watson, come here; I want you,” but it wasn’t until many years later that teenagers in Ft. Mitchell were able to “sext” their naked pictures to each other on their cell phones.

Obama’s Economy

  • image024OBAMANOMICS 101: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says the number of Americans not in the labor force increased by 296,000 in February, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ latest jobs report. According to the report, there were a total of 89.3 million people not in the labor force, up from 89 million in January.
  • WALL STREET WEAK: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says your IRA account was looking better this week. That’s why we say the Dow may be up, but you’re not, and if people only had good jobs so they could put money into their retirement accounts, everybody would feel a whole lot better.
  • ROMNEYDAMUS WAS RIGHT: And Romney’s Running Mate Paul Ryan predicted Obama’s Second term “Won’t be pretty.” What was his first clue? The Obama administration won’t be releasing its 2014 budget until April 8, more than two months late.

More Unresolved Issues

  • G-UNCONTROL: Bluegrass Rifle Association Spokesman Billy Bob Carbine wonders what it would be like if women actually took Obama’s VP Joke Biden’s advice and bought a shotgun, instead of an AR-15: Watch this video.
  • ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: Give an illegal immigrant a fish and he eats for a day. Give an illegal immigrant amnesty, along with free healthcare, food stamps, welfare, and access to Social Security and teach him to vote, you’ll have a DemocRAT for life.
  • RACIAL HEALING: The Congressional Black Caucus declared Sequester cuts “Racist.” Amazingly, they beat Obama to it.
  • GAY NEWS UPDATE: Former President Bill Clinton wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post calling for an end to the Defense of Marriage Act. Having been married to Hillary, we wonder why it took him so long.
  • EDJUMACATION: Only 80% of NYC high school graduates entering NY Community Colleges can’t read, but they’re all registered DemocRATS.

Buckeye Blues

  • image025IN OHIO: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Republicans are claiming State Rep-tile and Ohio DemocRAT Party Chairman Chris Redfern kicked the people of Ohio and the people of his own district (Ottawa County) to the curb again after angrily launching into a violent attack on the potential for 65,000 new jobs coming to northern Ohio in Governor Kasich Taylor’s Jobs and Transportation plan, and eventually vote against the bill altogether. (House Bill 51)
  • VOTER FRAUD IN OHIO: Everybody’s wondering what happened to those six cases of DemocRAT Voter Fraud that Channel 9 “Substantially True” News reported were headed to the office of Hamilton County Prosecutor “Jaywalking Joe” Deters to be reviewed for possible criminal charges? It’s still hard to believe any Voter Fraud ever happened here, since that’s what our local Obama Supporters in the Press always say.
  • REPTILE REPORT: The U.S. Department of Labor may have cleared Republican State Rep-tile Pete Beck of any wrongdoing in a fraud case the federal agency was investigating, but The Blower’s investigation into the money Beck glommed onto for $tate Rep-tile FOR $ALE Pete $tautberg.
  • PORTMAN’S LEGACY: This week, Rob “Fighting for Filibusters” Portman couldn’t join either Kentucky Senator Rand Paul’s “historic” filibuster or RINO Senator Lindsay Graham’s Dinner with Obama (where Obama needed a 20-car motorcade to travel six blocks to the restaurant), because the Robmeister was having dinner with a DemocRAT of his own.
  • SHAMELESS SOLICITING: After Chris Squealback betrayed the people of Cincinnat by voting in favor of the bogus “Emergency Clause” in the Parking Lot Plot and COAST published a picture of our Cincinnati Clown-cilgay as “Judas,” did Squealback really use that picture to try to raise a fast $2,500, calling COAST anti-gay for criticizing his vote?

‘Round Downtown

  • image028THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Could our Nine Fine Clowns on Clown-cil possibly have made a bigger mess of their Parking Lot Plot this week? No wonder it was included as one of our Top Stories of the Week.
  • LOONY LIBERTARIANS: After last week’s exciting Baked Potato Hand Out, Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns decided to do another at Fay Apartments on Saturday. Jim is highlighting his direct connection to the communities and his very strong support of re-legalizing marijuana, taking marijuana into the safe regulated market and taking marijuana out of the violence filled black-market.
  • PUTTING THE SIN IN CINCINNATI: Jerry Springer says parking in the Casino garage may be free all night, but not the streetwalkers you’ll see strolling outside the place.
  • HAMILTON COUNTY RINOS are waiting to see how many people stay away from Monday night’s Lincoln-Reagan Day Dinner, since local Tea Party Patriots just might be planning to boycott the event to which would honor Ohio’s ObamaCare-Loving Governor Kasich Taylor. Do you think any of the folks from OhioRising.com will be there?
  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES endorsed the Dohoney parking plan because they believe it will lead to a big tax hike in two years. Here’s why: this deal sacrifices most of the annual parking system proceeds to get a lump sum to piss away today. In two years the budget will still be unbalanced, but the annual proceeds from parking will be significantly reduced, creating an even larger budget gap than before. This makes a large tax increase more likely, as if that gang at City Hall ever needed a new excuse.
  • FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: Failed Cincinnati Public Schools Superintendent Mary Moneybags Ronan delivered walking papers to 60 principals this week. Afterwards, did she really hop on her broomstick and exclaim, “Bye, bitches?”
  • CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says when a Cincinnati Police officer was charged with improper use of police equipment, the indictment and case number were on Tracy Winkler’s Clerk of Courts web page in twenty minutes. [SEE CASE B 1301282] But Hamilton County Sheriff employee Mickey Esposito was charged with theft from the sheriff’s property room, his indictment and case number are still unavailable three weeks later. So who ordered this cover-up?
  • HOW ABOUT THEM REDS?: Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather says Dusty’s boys are really showing what they’re made of during Spring Training this year. The team is already 2-11.

Soreheads in the Suburbs

  • image030RESUME SPEEDING ZONE: Did Hamilton County Judge Robert Ruehlman really outlaw those controversial traffic cameras in Elmwood Place just because there were no signs making motorists aware of the cameras and the cameras are calibrated once a year by a for-profit operator? Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says, “If you’re looking for a refund, Police Chief Billy Peskin has your cash.”
  • IN ANDERSON: Did Forest Hills Urinal Editor Eric Spangler finally allow ace investigative reporter Lisa Wakeland to ask if townships should be able to recall masturbating trustees? It was about time, since The Blower’s only been asking that question for the past three years.
  • FREE TAX HELP: The Anderson branch library finally received its annual supply of IRS 1040 Tax Forms for all those patriotic people who just can’t wait to cheat on their own taxes. Now you may grab a batch and head to the offices of H&R Wenstrup at 7954 Beechmont Avenue, directly across the street from the Anderson Tea Party Headquarters, where they’ll be glad to help you fill out the forms.
  • ALSO IN ANDERSON: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Darryl Parks says he’s not sure if Salem Hardware is out of those “VOTE NO” signs to show you oppose the Forest Gump School District’s Secret Tax Hike, but if those “Tug Toner” guys would like to advertise Masturbating Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s new exerciser, Darryl would like to sell them some commercials on his program.
  • OUR CLERMONT COUNTY CRONY says it was only a year ago this weekend that fearless leader of the Cronies Tim Rudd and the Tea Party Patriots were are all dancing at the demise of Mean Jean and Clermont Portly Prosecutor Don White. Did White really think that voters would forget how he shamelessly attacked former Commissioner Archie Wilson and Tim Rudd the year before? And then there was the fact that White crossed party bosses and supported Scott Croswell. Elections have consequences and voters to their everlasting credit and our undying gratitude made sure that Mean Jean would be at home watching this year’s State of the Dis-Union Address instead of slobbering all over the President.
  • DRONES OVER DELHI: Former Sheriff Si Leis says if he were still in office, his deputy drones would be taking out speeders all over Hamilton County.
  • REPUBLICANS WITH GUNS: Are people still volunteering on Facebook to help organize that Day of Resistance Rally on February 23?

Meanwhile on the South Shore

  • image032ALL OVER KENTUCKY KENTUCKY: Everybody is hoping moonbat actress Ashley Judd will soon officially announce she’s running against Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell for his Kentucky seat in 2014, as Kentucky’s other Senator Rand Paul continues to aggravate Obama Supporters in the Press in every way imaginable. What a whole lot of publicity those two guys are going to get.
  • IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: This week, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says NoKY continued his whirlwind of political forecasts, and in Boondoggle County, Judge No Moore firmly believes he will get re-elected. Contender Commissioner Matt Dedden is having a bit of time getting folks to warm up to him. While he seems to have the right agenda, he definitely needs a media team along with someone to help him dress appropriately for public appearances. Meanwhile, The Blower learned that Commissioner Knochleman plans to run against Arlinghaus for that top spot in Kenton County. This is sure to cause another civil war within the GOP there.
  • LEGAL UPDATE: That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) was checking out rumors that Patrick Moeves is now working for Crazy Eric. Word is Moeves just got out of prison on parole a few weeks ago. He can’t work as an attorney because he’s been disbarred. Deters has a track record of hiring people with records: Nicole Howell who was charged but not convicted, Sara Jones who pled guilty to a felony, Resigned-in-disgrace and subsequently disbarred Judge Jay Bamberger. We’re uncertain if Howell and/or Bamberger are still employed there but they were at one point. But now Moeves? It’s not really a surprise, but The Cabal wonders how many of Deters clients know the less than stellar reputations of some of his employees.

More Political Insight Today

  • image033FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Metro Mole says staffers are disgusted at the lies Wedgie Washburn and Botox Buchanan (aka Skaggie Maggie) are telling about the Fishwrap lite that debuts on Monday. SURE, there will be more content — bet your ass, maybe for a week. Then it won’t even be a suitable asswipe. Our Mole Man says one can only hope for an 8-inch snowfall on Day One — shipping in from Columbus may not be such a cool idea. At the very least that means the “news” will be two hours more stale.
  • MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Groucho Marx’s “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.”
  • GOING GALT means shrugging off unearned guilt, refusing to support your own destroyers, refusing to give them what Ayn Rand termed “the sanction of the victim.”
  • LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #77 says: Instead of “Progressive,” always use the words “Oppressive” or “Regressive.” When called on this, feign puzzlement. “But how is it progress to steal free citizens’ liberties, money, and hope, and hand it all over to government bureaucrats?”
  • image035NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: This little ditty was found in found in “Poems for Politicians,” available at better Kroger bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.

The Members of Clown-cil this year
All claim to be adroit.
At granting Mallory’s wet dreams
To make Cincy more like Detroit.

  • FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why The Blower hadn’t published pictures of all those vaginas on display at the University of Cincinnati. “Are you kidding?” Kane asked. “Those are some of the nastiest pussy shots I’d ever seen. Even Larry Flynt would be disgusted. We’re not making a dirty crack, but Taco Bell wouldn’t even agree to be a sponsor. Reformed Wank-a-holic Phil Burrass said there’s no way you could ever beat off to those pictures. And Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis said looking at those vile-and-disgusting pussy photos would be enough to turn a guy gay. [SEE FOR YOURSELF]
  • image037AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

Monday will be the Official “Political Backstabbers Week” E-dition and we’ll already counting down the 1,412 days until Obama’s “historic” Third Term begins.

Tuesday will be our Special “Political Backstabbers” E-dition, and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will probably be from some of the biggest backstabbers in the business.

Wednesday our Backstabber Voting E-dition, where some of our Backstabees will have a chance to get even.

Thursday we’ll be giving you a list of politicians not to turn your back on.

And the first line of Friday’s limerick is: “Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day.”

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

Link of the Day

Obamaville

image043Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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