Friday, March 8, 2013
The Blower Isn’t Alone
A Person of Consequence we’ll call “Ken” says “I’ve been a loyal subscriber for years but I have to say the day I see a report that doesn’t mention ‘Mean Jean’ will make me very happy! Get over it! Nobody cares about her except you!”
Hadn’t The Blower pretty much said it all in our January 5 “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead” E-dition, the first day after she was no longer in Congress? [SEE THAT E-DITION HERE]
Not exactly, Ken. Aren’t Republicans like elephants, never supposed to forget?
Hurley the Historian says our Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt is Southwest Ohio’s most embarrassing elected official in history (including Jerry Springer), and many people feel her disgraceful deeds will never be forgotten.
Duffy “The Schmidt Slayer” Beischel says, “I look forward to the day when Mean Jean discloses and pays her debt to the Turkish coalition and publicly announces that she will forever retire from running for public office.”
Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney says, “I look forward to the day that I’m not paying the Schmidt-Taft tax on my dry cleaning or my gas or the Schmidt tax to pay for the $50 billion her husband’s firm got in the bailout.
In Northern Kentucky, Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters says, “It’s The Whistleblower’s First Amendment right to concentrate on ‘Mean Jean’ Schmidt.”
And U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Fund-raisers” Portman says, “I look forward to the day The Blower stops reminding people about the way I handed over my seat in Congress on a silver platter to the bitch.”
What? Over? Not by a long shot. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose the future senator John Blutarsky’s “Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”
So perhaps it’s time once again for Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto (Let’s all say it together):
Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.
Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.
And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for RINO Bitches!
Stories We’re Working On
North Korea vows nuclear first strike against U.S.- Obama claims another foreign policy victory
- Stock Market hits all-time high
- Hugo Chavez now a Good DemocRAT
- New smaller Fishwrap coming on Monday
- Tea Party boycotting Kasich Taylor appearance at Lincoln-Reagan Dinner
- Should Townships be able to recall Masturbating Trustees?
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said Defeated Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt lost her last election Election:
(A) Mitt Romney’s vigorous campaign in Hamilton and Clermont counties: 2%
(B) No last-minute hit piece from the Maggie/Che$ley/Cunningham cabal: 1%
(C) All those Whistleblower readers actually voted: 1%
(D) Barry Bennett and Joe Jansen were running “Mean Jean’s” campaign: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Budget Fudge-Its
This week, everybody who thinks those $85 Billion in Sequester Cuts Obama’s screaming about 24/7 don’t even make a good down payment on the country’s necessary spending reductions, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. The winner is noted Conservative Budget Director Stockman Tadwell, who says “Sequester this!”
Stockman wins an online Budget Simulator that’s so simple even a 12-year-old child can make it work, a commemorative list of all that waste fraud and abuse in Washington you always hear so much about, and a pair of ceremonial Congressional Budget Cutting Scissors that have never been used. His winning limerick is:
Government spending really hasn’t been cut,
That term’s misleading more than somewhat
Only the increase is reduced
You should’ve already deduced
The spending spigot will never be shut.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says there’d be no trouble controlling government spending if his wife was in charge of balancing the Budget):
Government spending really hasn’t been cut,
Our country’s economy’s in a rut,
Our deficit’s over 16 trillion
So what’s a few hundred million?
I’d like to kick Obama in his butt.
There are so many places in the government budget
Any objective CPA could easily judge it.
But rather than fix it
They’ll try to deep six it
And not tell the truth, but fudge it.
The truth is easy to discern,
Except for those who are too dumb to learn
We spend more than we make
That’s obvious, for Pete’s sake!
Some day, we’re all going to burn
What we spend on defense is a given
And Social Security is economy-driven
Entitlements are too high
Let’s cut back on the free pie
And stop encouraging welfare/food-stamp livin’
But the biggest reason we are in dire straits
Is that jobs have left the United States
We’re no longer the leader
Now we’re an assistance needer
(Except for Warren Buffet and Bill Gates).
We need to be honest and admit
What has happened to put us in this pit,
Not to be repetitive
But we’re no longer competitive
China has us in very deep shit.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day.”
SAY YOUR FINAL GOOD-BYE TO “MEAN JEAN” HOT LINE
e-mail your egregious eulogies today.
Some mournful items in today’s Blower
were sent in by our extremely mournful subscribers, but we could always use more.
Link of the Day
More Losers Who Brought Us “Mean Jean”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
