Friday, March 1, 2013
Wasn’t the World Supposed to End Today?
Whistleblower Political Prognosticator Nostradamus Tadwell says he can’t believe it— the sun actually rose in the east this morning, just like any other day. Thanks to all those Obama Supporters in the Press, Obama’s Sequester Hype was the biggest bunch of bullshit since Mayan Madness, when those “end of the world callers” flooded the NASA switchboard, thousands of cult members were arrested in China, doomsdayers gathered in Australia, and New Yorkers were looking for an end-of-the-world orgy. In Washington, Obama and the DemocRATS were replaying their annual doomsday scenario on the National Debt.
No wonder Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says only 6% rates the news media as “Very Trustworthy.”
Every day it looks more like the inmates have taken over the asylum. It’s just what all of those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters truly deserve—four more years of the rancor and ruin of the Divided States of America during Obama’s second term. But people hereabouts have little to worry about.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Mark Twain’s: “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati, because it’s always twenty years behind the times.”
More Politics Unusual
IN WASHINGTON: Our DC Newsbreaker says newspaper editor and book author Bob Woodward complained that a senior White House official had threatened him for daring to suggest Obama was at fault for the sequestration crisis. Obama Supporters in the Press followed suit, as Photoshop Spoofer Edward Cropper suggests.- IN COLUMBUS: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Wednesday was the much anticipated dress rehearsal at the Horseshoe Casino in Over-the-Rhine. Nearly 15,000 people were invited to attend the event that lasted only a few hours. While many local business leaders and politicos were invited to the exclusive event, our snitch in Columbus is reporting that despite all the glamour, pomp and circumstance of the event, there is buzz among the people who were not invited to attend that event and the upcoming black tie gala prior to Monday’s opening that is causing quite a stir. Other than some reduced table minimums, there were no freebies and every single bit of all the proceeds went to charity after a small fee for handling and postage, if you know what we mean. However, we’re told our favorite lobbyist and casino peddler Chippy Gerhardt is already being accused of using the dress rehearsal and the black-tie event as a chance to play politics by not inviting certain people to attend the events. We’re told by legislators and other influential people in Columbus that will definitely make things difficult for Chippy’s chums running the casino when they seek certain proposed rule changes in the future.
TEA PARTY PATRIOTS: It was a great day for all patriots in the area when the Cincinnati Tea Party finally decided to grow a pair and stop being a shill for Alex T. Mall Cop GOP and his courthouse hacks. The former Tea Party President, who will go nameless because we will forget him sooner that way, was a shill for Alex because he was told that as long as he used the Tea Party resource to pimp Hamilton County GOP events and hand-selected candidates, he would be allowed to lead the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance. He was unanimously voted out and “Fair Ball Ann” Becker is now leading the charge. The first order of business will be to boycott and protest at the Hamilton County Lincoln Day because the speaker is ObamaCare-loving Governor Kasich Taylor. (Remember, we changed his name last week because you see an unhyphenated “Kasich Taylor” so often on campaign propaganda these days, you’d almost thing that was the Ohio Governor’s real name.)
All Tea Party members are now encouraged to boycott and protest outside the event. If for some reason, they fell for previous announcements from their shill President and bought a ticket, they are to call Ashwin at GOP headquarters and demand their money back. Do not back down, Patriots! If all Tea Party members demand their money back, the Hamilton County RINO Party they might be able to hold the dinner in the back half of a Skyline.
And did you see our local RINOs’ new slogan (“Organizing to Win The Future”)? it is a combination of OBAMA’s ACORN-refugee, community-organizer campaign thugs (Organizing For America) and OBAMA’s slogan “Winning The Future.” In other words, exactly what your typical New York City DemocRAT operative would conjure up. But the larger issue is that nobody is left to march to the beat of the 700 Walnut Street drum anymore. They don’t have the jobs at the Courthouse to hand out, after losing the Auditor’s office, the Coroner’s Office, the Recorder’s Office, Half the Juvenile Court, and the now…the Sheriff’s office. They don’t have the endorsement clout at the local level anymore because the township, city, and village central committees aren’t stuffed with County workers anymore. You have to have the right last name (such as Deters, Winkler, or Blessing) to run for office now. If anyone wants to do any actual conservative activism, they’re far more likely to join forces with some meaningless anti-tax group, Americans for Prosperity, or even the Obama-citizenship-email-forwarding doofuses in the Tea Party. Alex claims he’s organizing the “Buckeye Battalion” to “Win the Future? Alex the Greek, Ash-Traitor and the Princess would be lucky to be able to staff a six-pack of volunteers at this point and, once assembled, wouldn’t be able to organize a two-car funeral.
Speaking of Tea Partiers, 45 patriots attended the Angry Anderson Tea Party this week last night and every one of them stayed until the bitter end of the 90-minute meeting, despite a lot of boring stuff about the United Nations, ObamaCare, and fracking (whatever the hell that is). Precincts are being organized, and candidates for Forest Gump School Board were being recruited. Surprisingly, $tate Rep-tile FOR $ALE Pete $tautberg was nowhere to be found. They call it the “$tautberg $yndrome.”
The Best $tate Rep-Tile Money Can Buy must’ve been holed up in his basement afraid to pick up the phone. On the one hand, it could be Chippy Gerhardt and his sister demanding that he support governor Kasich Taylor’s ObamaCare expansion. Chippy Gerhardt bought Stautberg off long ago and is the head lobbyist for Children’s Hospital and Stautberg’s sister is the chief legal counsel. Children’s Hospital will rake in millions if Governor Kasich Taylor gets his way. And Stautberg wants to give it to him. On the other hand, the phone call could come from the Angry Andersonian Tea Party wanting him to vote against all of Governor Kasich Taylor’s ObamaCare expansion. These people vote, and unlike Stautberg’s family members, who are all registered DemocRATS (including his wife), they don’t vote in the Republican Primary.
Our Tea Party Activist says “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman attended the Angry Anderson Tea Party meeting and was smiling like the Cheshire cat.
Taxkiller knows $tautberg will betray the group and is already organizing to run in the 2014 Republican Primary against the best $tate-Rep tile Money Can Buy. He spent time explaining to the group the campaign ads he was ready to run. It should be fun.
IN CINCINNATI: Meanwhile our City Hall Snitch says this year’s Mayoral campaign is getting dirtier by the minute and it seems the Cranley Campaign will stop at nothing to besmirch the character of Foxy Roxy these days, even misspelling her name.- IN HAMILTON COUNTY: Republicans for Higher Taxes applaud Judge Melissa Powers for refusing to dismiss charges against the Colerain Township man who was arrested for posting a picture on Facebook that included himself, his kid, and a nearby BB gun. If the Judge were to let this one go, she would also have to allow people to post photos of their kid around a swimming pool, car, or beach and that would be even more dangerous. The Colerain Police Department needs higher taxes to ensure they can continue pursuing these kinds of dangerous criminals.
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says there should be an investigation as to why preferential treatment is being shown at the Clerk’s Office for Mickey Esposito after several attorneys say they checked Tracy Winkler’s Hamilton County Clerk of Courts web site and they couldn’t find any record of Mickey’s recent arrest for stealing all that stuff from the Sheriff’s property room.
It is likely not the fault of the Sheriff’s Office, which has finally broken free of the tentacles of the fake Republican squids squeezing the breath out of the real Republican Party. The party’s hit team failed to cleanse the certificate of judgment CJ13004012. Apparently Mickey was in trouble with the State of Ohio as CJ93004107 proves he wasn’t paying his bills in 1993 either. Why is this important? The person in charge of a property room containing valuables, money, drugs, and guns, who is in position to hide theft there from, should be of impeccable moral character. Are we to believe that Mickey Esposito was the best example of high moral character with whom Si Leis was familiar? OK, perhaps we would.
History will not look favorably on Simon L. Leis, Jr., the incredible tyrant who brought corruption to the Office of Sheriff. Why is he not being blamed for foisting Mickey Esposito on the honest over-taxed payers? Semper Si’s hold over the Prosecutor’s Office at the time kept Mickey one step ahead of the rail that he was to ride to the penitentiary back in 1991 when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over all over town. And, at the time, he certainly didn’t want to embarrass any of the “Friends of Joe” who reaped the benefits of the multi-million dollar tax fraud which effects still curse our county.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says: on this date in 1932 the Lindbergh baby was kidnapped, and Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe Deters says just think how many TV press conferences I could’ve called on that case.
Hurley also says last year at this time, it was only a long weekend away from Super Duper Tuesday on March 6, and everybody was still talking about all those gazillions of dollars the Ohio RINO Party was spending to keep their stooges on the Republican State Central Committee, and how much the Ohio GOP House Caucus was spending to protect its lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg.
Elsewhere a year ago in Ohio’s Second Congressional District, Mean Jean Schmidt’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman called the Highland County Press to intimidate the publisher into retracting his endorsement of Brad Wenstrup. [READ THAT ENDORSEMENT HERE] Where’s “Mean Jean’s” former News Flack working these days, anyway?
And Speaking of local Congressional News Coverage, it only took eight weeks, but the Forest Hills Urinal finally posted the address for “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s District Office at 7954 Beechmont Avenue, across the street from the Anderson Tea Party Headquarters. The only problem is, The Urinal reports the place to pick up your IRS tax forms in Suite 170, while Wenstrup’s web page says the office is located at “Suite 200.” The Urinal also doesn’t show the phone number of Wenstrup’s office at 513-474-7777. Is Wenstrup’s incompetent and over-paid Distruist Manager John Stanton doing a great job or what?
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says last year at this time everybody was waiting to see the winner of that week’s Whistleblower Limerick Contest, since the first line was “Don’t worry about ‘Crazy Eric’s’ suspension.” The winner was Radio Hottie Lady Lawyer Lisa Wells who said, “Crazy Eric is really a wimp. He promised to fight his suspension all the way to the Supreme Court.”
This year Lisa couldn’t wait to report Hoosier Bureau Chief’s story about Crazy Eric being denied temporary permission to practice law in Indiana in order to represent Michelle Jackson, who was charged with sexual misconduct after being accused of having a sexual relationship with a Dearborn County inmate while serving as a community corrections officer. Maybe Dearborn Circuit Court Judge James D. Humphrey is a Blower subscriber.
- FINALLY, YESTERDAY AT A BRIBE LUNCH, a public official running for re-election in the suburbs was asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the Sequester Madness that was enveloping the county these days. “Unfortunately, no agreement had been reached to eliminate the dreaded budget cuts by March 1,” Kane explained. “Now, Obama and Congress must not be able to reach a comprehensive agreement to fully stabilize the economy in each of the next 1,421 days remaining during Obama’s Second Term.”
Stories We’re Working On
More Sequester Fear-mongering- Stock Market nears all time high
- Obama gives GOP a seven-minute meeting
- Biden says “Fire shotgun through the door”
- Women overweight because they do less vacuuming and laundry
- Pessimists living longer
- Drones over Delhi
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most white people celebrated Black History Month, now called Half-Black History Month in honor of the current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave:
(A) Chompin’ on chitlins: 2%
(B) Feeling really guilty: 1%
(C) Waiting to see if Buckwheat Blackwell and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane win this year’s Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards: 1%
(D) Totally ignoring it: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Blackness is Only Skin Deep
This week, everybody who thinks the best part about Black History Month is that unlike in 2012, this year it still only lasts 29 days, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. The winner is noted nerd Wigger Whiteass, who says acting Black is really cool.
Wigger wins a generous supply of Jungle Fever Tanning Cream courtesy of Judge P-P-P-Patrick DeWhine; free joint memberships in COAST and the Cincinnati Chapter of National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People (NAALCP) from Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney and SMLP Smithermouth; and a guest appearance on Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston’s Belligerent Black Blog. His winning limerick is:
This month we study Black History;
How they all got so dark is a mystery!
We honkies sit in the sun,
Till the long day is done,
And just get all reddish and blistery!
More Racial Healing Entries
This month we study black history
Why we do it remains a big mystery.
We don’t do it for others,
(And I wouldn’t, if I had my druthers)
But PC pressure is VERY persist-ory.
This month we study Black History
It’s all about cultural diversity.
Are all people of color
Now walking much taller,
Or is this just more race card perversity?
This month we study Black History.
For Revrum Jesse, it’s more free publicity.
Though his achievements are jack
He compensates in the sack,
For his marriage vows have a certain elasticity.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked and now has something to tell the padre at this week’s confession):
This month we study black history
No other type of ethnic category
Forget Europeans
Japanese or Koreans
Why we do this is really no mystery.
We must be politically correct,
But if I’m allowed to be direct
It makes me a bit heated
The way some people get treated
To racial partiality I object.
Why don’t we do the same for Chinese
Cambodians or Vietnamese?
Are blacks more important
Than the whole human assortment?
Why do we have to appease?
Oh, it’s all coming clear to me now
It’s the only way we really know how
To clear our good name
For slavery’s shame
Affirmative action’s a big sacred cow.
A hundred and fifty years ago, Mr. Lincoln
Knowing full well what he was thinkin’
Freed all the slaves
From the slave-holding knaves
But apparently the memory is still stinkin’
The truth is remarkably clear
No former slaves are now here
Slavery is dead
Can’t we move ahead?
Maybe Obama will buy us a beer.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Government Spending really hasn’t been been cut.”
CELEBRATING BLACK HISTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite chitlins recipes today.
Some hypocrite DemocRAT items in today’s Blower were sent in by hypocrite DemocRAT, like this Black History Month Greeting from former KKK Grand Klegal, Deceased DemocRAT U. S. Senator Robert Byrd.
Link of the Day
Sequestration Panic!
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
