Saturday, February 23, 2013
Real Awards for Real Acting
Sunday night, millions of Americans will be watching the 85th Annual Academy Awards in Hollywood. These viewers know everything about every film and movie star being nominated.
Unfortunately, these are the same Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Supporters who’ve ensured us all of another 1,427 days during the Dark Ages of America’s Second Term.
Nevertheless, at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was pleased as punch to present The Whistleblower’s “Real Awards for Real Acting” for 2013.
Nominees for Best Actor were:
Barack Obama in “Liar, Liar”
Barack Obama in “Above the Law”
Barack Obama in “Sequester Madness”
…and the winner was George W. Bush in “Miss Me Yet?”
Nominees for Best Supporting Actor were:
Mitt Romney in “Losers Weepers”
Harry Reid in “Only 36,000 Lost Their Jobs Today”
John Boehner in “Cave In”
…and the winner was Joe Biden in “Our Stimulus Is Really Working”
Nominees for Best Actress were:
Hillary Clinton in “Nightmare on Benghazi Street”
Susan Rice in “At the Movies”
Barbra Streisand in “Left Wing Looney”
…and the winner was Michele Obama in “Separate Over-Taxed Payer Funded Vacations”
Nominees for Best Supporting Actress were:
Kathleen Sebelius “Cover Your Mouth When You Cough”
Janet Napolitano in “Airport Insecurity”
Nancy Pelosi in “Facelift”
…and the winner was, Barney Frank in “Man in a Dress.”
Winners in Other Categories Included:
Biggest Boondoggle: “Health Care Reform”
Best Foreign Entry: “Immigration Reform”
Most Unconstitutional: “They’re Coming for Your Guns”
Biggest Disappointment: (Tie) “Racial Healing” and “Class Warfare”
…And the year’s Biggest Mystery: “Where in the Hell Are All Those Jobs We Were Promised?”
Local “Real Awards for Real Acting”
Cincinnati’s Girly Mayor Mark Mallory: “A Streetcar Named Stupidity”- Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich and Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett: “Lying About ObamaCare”
- John Cranley and Foxy Roxy: “Damaging the Democratic Process”
- Ohio Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup: “Does Anybody Know Where My District Office Is?”
- Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien: “Rubber Gloves”
- Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP: “It’s My Party and I’ll Ruin It If I Want To”
- Republican Hamilton County Commissioners Odd Todd Opportune and Me, Greg Hartmann: “Raising Taxes”
Mercenary COAST Attorney Chris Finney and NAALCP President/ Cincinnati City Clown-cilman SMLP Smithermouth: “Jungle Fever”- Mickey Esposito: “Return of a Bad Man”
- $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg: “Useless in Columbus”
- Forrest Gump School Board: “Tax Hikes for Greedy Teachers and Administrators”
- Tea Party Patriots: “Tempest in a Tea Cup”
- Disgraced Former NokY Congressman Goof Doofus: “Revolving Door Lobbyists”
- NoKY’s Second Most Infamous Sex-ed Teacher and ex-Bun-Gal Sarah Jones: “Cougars in Heat”
And This Just In
Joey and Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters: “Separated at Birth”
REAL AWARDS FOR REAL ACTING HOT LINE
e-mail your noxious nominations today
Some Celebrity-obsessed items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Celebrity-obsessed subscribers, but we could always use more.
Link of the Day
2016: Obama’s America
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