Thursday, February 21, 2013
This Could All Be Over In a Mere 1429 More Days
OBAMA’S SEQUESTER COUNTDOWN: Today there’s only a week until Obama’s paltry budget cuts kick in.- OBAMA’S SCARY SEQUESTER THREAT OF THE DAY: Federal Prosecutors will “Let Criminals Go” if Obama’s Sequester cuts go through. The Blower really liked John Boehner’s response on Wednesday, when the Republican House Speaker told Obama, “You created it, you fix it.”
And with Food Stamps at an all time high, Obama paid a golf pro $8,000 for lessons during his $989,207 over-taxed payer-funded Presidents’ Day Weekend getaway in Palm Springs. The next day on the first hole of his round with Disgraced Golfer Tiger Woods, Obama shot an 11.
- PRESIDENTIAL PREVARICATION: Did you see where Obama claimed today that since he has been president both parties have worked together to cut the federal deficit by $2.5 trillion? Truth is, the national debt has increased $5.19 trillion during Obama’s presidency, which is more than it increased under all presidents from George Washington through Bill Clinton combined.
TEA PARTY APOLOGY Did Tea Party Patriots really have to say they were sorry to Karl Rove for Tuesday’s fundraising e-mail showing that Tea-Bashing RINO wearing a Nazi uniform? The Blower says they should’ve been apologizing to the Nazis.- JUST DESSERTS: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says Kroger CEO David Dillon told The Financial Times that some companies might decide to pay a fine rather than insurance premiums because it would cost less and someday soon, and The Blower says all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span Obama Voting Kroger Employees will be getting exactly what they deserve.
- IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says the big news in Health Care today is the federal government will no longer enroll people with pre-existing conditions in its temporary high-risk insurance pool amid signs that the $5 billion program could run out of money sooner than expected. This should come as no surprise, since payouts far exceed the insurance premiums. This was a no brainer. In Ohio it paid out $84.4 million in claims + administrative costs for a total of $181 million dollars and only brought in $40 million from premiums. In Ohio alone there was a shortfall of $141.4 million. With these figures, one would think Milton Dabaloney was in charge of the finances.
WOMEN’S WEAPONRY: Joe Biden says a woman can deter a would-be intruder by firing two blasts of a double-barrel shotgun. Obama’s Joke VP says an AR-15 is harder to aim and to use.- PUTTING THE “CIN” IN CINCINNATI: Queen City Streetwalkers Spokesfloozy Sarah Strumpet says Jerry Springer asked if he could bring his checkbook when he auditions some of the more attractive hookers on parade outside the Horseshoe Casino when it opens on March 4.
- CITY EMPLOYEES ARE OVER-TAXED PAYERS TOO: Our City Hall Snitch says Republican Activist Joe “No Conflict of Interest” Braun at Strauss Troy shouldn’t be too surprised to read all that information in The Blower about Duke Energy’s $15 million lawsuit against the City, since not everybody at the City Hall Circus thinks Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly is a great idea.
And why is the City’s public hearing on the Duke Rate Increase scheduled at 12:30 PM on February 28, when nobody but Obama voters and slackers can attend while all those other hearings were scheduled at 6:30 PM, when protesters could arrive after work?
Republicans for Higher Taxes address the revelation that streetcar constructions costs have already come in 57% over budget. They believe the streetcar should be built no matter the cost. If it costs more they’ll just raise taxes. Sadly, we think the Mayor and City Clowncil agree.
WITH TODAY’S BLACK HISTORY MOMENT,Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1965 Malcolm X, an African American nationalist and religious leader, was assassinated by rival Black Muslims while addressing his Organization of Afro-American Unity.- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Barbara Jordan’s (the first Black Congresswoman to come from the Deep South) “Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power.”
- REPUBLICANS WITH GUNS: What kind of people are expected to show up at the Cincinnati Tea Party’s big “Day of Resistance Rally” for all Second Amendment Supporters at “The Square” in Union Centre? Hedly Lamarr’s flunky assistant Taggart says “That’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.”
- MORE MOVIE VIOLENCE: Movie-goers can hardly wait for this year’s Academy Awards show on Sunday, and although “DJesus Uncrossed” will not win for “Best Picture,” Whistleblower Film Critic Ebert Maltin says it might be “Most Sacrilegious.”
- THE MORE THE MERRIER: Yesterday after Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns challenged his opponents to make weekly donations at the Cincinnati Sperm Bank between now and Election Day on September 10, Disgraced Anderson Masturbating Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien wondered if he could to take part, since he’s running for re-election on Hand Job Ticket, with the help of his enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal and Kevin’s running mate Greg Delev, who did not get the Anderson Republican Club’s endorsement.
IN A RELATED ITEM: Speaking of the Anderson GOP, the Tar-and-Feather Brigade is really upset Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP cancelled his appearance as the “featured speaker” at the March 6 meeting. They envisioned a scene out of a Mel Brooks movie – either the angry townspeople in “Blazing Saddles” or the villagers in “Young Frankenstein” (or was it “stien?”). We plain folk are not too happy with Benedict Arnold Kasich’s decision to expand the number of people who can sit on their asses and get “free” health services through Medicaid. Now, all of a sudden Ohio Republicans like Alex T. seem tongue-tied about Kasich’s budget. Perhaps it has something to do with all the Tea Party leaders who are talking about “primarying” anyone who votes for that nonsense. Anderson’s State Rep-tile Stautberg will probably have a “schedule conflict” also that night. Maybe they’ll be meeting with Progress Ohio that night, instead.- TAX DAY IS COMING: And the Anderson branch library still hasn’t received its annual supply of IRS 1040 Tax Forms for all those patriotic people who just can’t wait to cheat on their own taxes. But not to worry, you can always pick up whatever forms you need at Ohio’s Second District Congressional Office, at 7954 Beechmont Avenue, directly across the street from the Anderson Tea Party Headquarters.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says it’s hard to believe it’s almost a year since Congressman Thomas Massie first opened his campaign in Florence and most people were wondering how long a lease Thomas had signed, because that might indicate what the candidate thought his chances were against the candidate NoKY RINOs were endorsing.- FINALLY, YESTERDAY AT A BRIBE LUNCH, a political insider was asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster about the Pentagon’s plans to furloughing its civilian workforce of 800,000 employees if Obama’s Sequestration goes into effect March 1. Those employees face up to 22 days of furloughs, one per week, through the end of the fiscal year in September. “You have to wonder why the Military needs 800,000 over-paid and underworked Obama-voting civilians in the first place,” Kane explained.
Seediest Kids of All
The Greg Hartmann Story
“Me, Greg” Hartmann was an attention-starved Hyde Park second-grader who was never chosen for anything important, no matter how much he sucked up to everybody at school. The reason everybody called him “Me, Greg,” was because he would always jump up and raise his hand and say, “Me, Me, Me!” But his teacher wouldn’t even let him clean the erasers. Class officers wouldn’t even support him for hall monitor. The principal wouldn’t sign his petition for safety patrol. And the coach wouldn’t even let him dress up in a gerbil suit to be the team mascot.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not affiliated with the Failed United Way) called former Hamilton County GOP Party Boss George Vincent to arrange for an honor truly befitting “Me, Greg’s” talents and abilities, where he could appear as an example of what not to do at a so-called campaign school where losers were brought in to teach future candidates how to run unsuccessful campaigns. Shakedown lobbyists like Chippy Gerhardt and our Felonious Fund-raiser Dickie Weiland tried to get support from their sleazy lobbyist friends in Columbus, former philandering prosecutor Mike Allen offered his meaningless endorsement, Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney advised “Me, Greg” to call his opponents an asshole, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane promised not to hold him up to public ridicule.
The Hartmann family is grateful to the Seediest Kids of All for helping “Me, Greg” reach his true potential, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt giving and over-taxed payers’ dollars throughout the year which makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
Another Proud Sponsor and Avid Fan
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our February fund-raising drive by Duke Energy, for publicizing all that inside information about their $15 Million lawsuit against the City of Cincinnati for costs to relocate underground utilities because of that stupid streetcar nobody will ever ride.
SEQUESTER THREATS HOTLINE HOT LINE
e-mail your ingenious intimidation today.
Some bullying items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally bullying subscribers.
Links of the Day
“58 Trillion Dimes”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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