Friday, February 1, 2013
Happy Black History Month, Everybody!
Today we begin with the first of 687 profiles in our continuing racial-healing series about local Caucasian residents who just happen to be named “Black”:
Samuel P. Black grew up in Norwood. As an ordinary young white man, he dropped out of junior high at the age of 14 to go to work during the depression. He served without distinction as a PFC in WWII, came back home, married the girl next door, and rented a house in an all-white neighborhood in Bellevue, Kentucky.
Black raised three children, none of whom was ever arrested. He worked at night and on weekends at a pony keg to make ends meet.
After he retired, he became a crossing guard at the local elementary school. Sometimes he just sat on the porch and waved at cars.
“Sam was a good man,” said a neighbor who vaguely remembered him. “He always kept his yard real nice.”
Tomorrow’s Black History Month Racial Healing Profile: TLPMB Mean Jean Schmidt’s eviler twin sister Jennifer Black.
Our Quote for Today comes from British-American financial journalist and author Peter Brimelow, who said, “The modern definition of a ‘racist’ is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.”
WE HOPE YOU DIDN’T FORGET: Payment for your Hamilton County Property Taxes had to be post-marked by midnight last night, and tax preparers all over Hamilton County were busy all day Thursday helping over-taxed property owners complete their complicated tax forms. And it’s no wonder, since some people’s property taxes are included with their mortgage payments, and they never actually see how much they’re paying for those fools in schools and all those other taxes that are included. That’s why The Blower always says everybody should have to write a really big check on Property Tax Day, and they should hold elections on the same day people have to pay for all those taxes.
First, there are school taxes. Could you ever believe you ever approved paying that much for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span People walking around these days? The next big piece goes to the City, Village, or Township where you live. Then come all your other taxes for such things as a Joint Vocational School (wherever the hell that is), County General Fund, Public Library, Family Service/Treatment, Health and Hospital Care for the Indigent, Mental Health Levy, Development Disabilities, Park District, Crime Information Center, Children Services, Senior Services, Cincinnati Zoo so they don’t kill all the elephants, and the Museum Center.
It’s a shame we don’t have an effective local “Anti-Tax” Organization to talk about such things, and our good friend Bunky Tadwell (the Bard of Cleves) says, “The worst part about your property taxes is that they never seem to go down, and never does anybody else I know.”
Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering says if you forgot to use one of those new 46-cent postage stamps (required since last Sunday) when you mailed in your “Jacked-Up Taxes and your payment was returned due to insufficient postage, our Disingenuous DemocRAT Double-Dipping DemocRAT Obama-loving County Auditor will still publish your name in The Fishwrap, along with all those other deadbeats.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1790, the U.S. Supreme Court met for the first time with Chief Justice John Jay presiding, and instantly afterward, DemocRATS began whining that the election had been stolen.
- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “ ‘60 Minutes’ anchor Steve Kroft is defending Sunday’s interview with President Obama and Hillary Clinton, saying that he didn’t have enough time to ask hard-hitting questions. That would be easier to believe if the name of his show wasn’t the amount of time he had.”
IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Tuesday, May 7, 2013, is Primary Election Day in Ohio. Now that Hamilton County Tax Day has passed, maybe The Blower will have something else to count down in the lower right hand corner of our Web Page.
Gerry also says the Ohio DemocRAT Party’s orchestrated outrage about State School Board President Debe Terhar’s Facebook Framus is getting so out-of-hand, Whistleblower Education Reporter Rod Sparechild has even been assigned to do a series of articles on the utter hypocrisy of it all.
- LOONY LIBERTARIANS: Cincinnati Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns got a front-page story in the UC News Record, right next to an item about proposal of a “Meal Plan Swipe Limit.” Whistleblower Restaurant Critic Martin UpChuck says he was surprised. He didn’t know the food was that good.
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET says a well-know Cincinnati doctor is supposed to be served with papers today in a screwed up knee surgery case. Wait till you hear more about this.
OUR COLERAIN CONFIDANT says he is having a great time watching Colerain Township dis-trust-ee Jeff Ritter’s chickens come home to roost with his police levy, a foreshadowing of Ritter’s own re-election troubles looming over the horizon. The best debate on the police levy would be to have Jeff Ritter debate himself. The Jeff Ritter who struts about being fiscally conservative would never support big raises for government officials and sweetheart deals for the special interests. The Jeff Ritter who claims to want smaller government would never support building more facilities for the township. The Jeff Ritter who preaches about sharing services would surely want to sign a contract with the Sheriff’s office for far more cost-effective services. The Jeff Ritter who recruits people to VOLUNTEER on a township fiscal oversight committee would never fire a VOLUNTEER for the community who took his job seriously, would he? Especially if the VOLUNTEER came up with some ways to save the township millions of dollars. Isn’t that what conservative Republicans are supposed to want to do? The Jeff Ritter who claims to be such a great Republican would never tolerate the underhanded tactics he himself is using to remove a Republican office-holder from elected office. The Jeff Ritter who claims to promote a “teamwork” environment among the elected officials and department heads wouldn’t be trying to get rid of a “teammate” and install someone who ran against “the team.” He would do all of these things if it made his own re-election easier. Readers of The Blower have known for years about Ritter talking out of both sides of his mouth. Now the voters of Colerain Township are getting a chance to see it up close and personal in “The Quacker Factor.”- FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: The Kings School Board’s new board president is Bonnie Baker Hicks, and NoTaxJack wonders how long it will take her to get a new levy on the ballot? In Warren County, taxes just keep going up!
ANDERSON TEA PARTIERS just received an e-mail about how Liberal politicians aren’t letting the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting crisis go to waste, what with the way Obama, Senator Dianne Feinstein, and others who detest the Second Amendment are simply using the families and children who were killed in this incident to try to take away the unalienable right of self-defense of law-abiding citizens.
Spokesbabe Sue-zilla Hardenbergh can’t say enough about that sheriff in Pinal County, Arizona who’s taken an oath to the Constitution and has written a letter to Obama articulating that any law or regulation created by a presidential executive order that is contradictory to what the Constitution says will be deemed unlawful and the sheriff will not enforce it in his county.
The Investiture Ceremony for Hamilton County Sheriff Jim Neil will take place Friday at 12:00 noon in Courtroom 340 of the Hamilton County Courthouse. With all those local reporters who’ve been invited to attend that auspicious affair, do you think one of them will ask how the best local sheriff since Semper Si stands on such a controversial issue?
ARE ALL THE CHARACTERS THE WHISTLEBLOWER WRITES ABOUT REAL? Yesterday, a Person of Consequence we’ll call Duffy “The Big Spanky Slayer” Beischel thought he recognized a strange similarity between yesterday’s fictional “Seediest Kid of All” (“Little Greggie” Delev) and an ostracized Anderson Township resident he once knew. Perhaps Duffy forgot that The Whistleblower is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental even if they both have the same name, especially running mates of Masturbating Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien.- INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST FEARLESS FERRETT says he’s been asked a similar question about the similarity between that woman named “Maggi Cook” who was recently accused of having six felonies in Ohio and the Maggie Cook who’s been active in Hamilton County RINO Party politics for several years.
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) are still celebrating Kenton Circuit Court Judge Patricia Summe’s dismissal of “Crazy Eric’s” frivolous SLAPP lawsuit against Skaggie Maggie, Wedgie Washburn, Jim Hannah, and Terry DeMio at The Fishwrap.
And did you see where Judge Patty said Jim Hannah’s Fishwrappery was “Substantially True,” using the same term that was used in the case of Channel 9 “Substantially True” News against Laure’ Not So Cleanlivin’.
The Blower doesn’t understand how something can be “Substantially True.” Our Garrulous Grammarian explains, “If something isn’t ‘True,’ they call that ‘a lie.’ ”
FINALLY, AFTER LAST NIGHT’S SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how deliberate is it that the Chicago home where the late President Ronald Reagan grew up is slated to be demolished and potentially turned into a parking lot for Obama’s Presidential Library. “Isn’t it just the kind of despicable decision you’d expect in Obama’s home town during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term?” Kane explained.
A recent poll says 67% of Texas Republicans (along with 15% of Blacks and of 30% Latinos) want Obama impeached, and amazingly, 12% of DemocRATS also support impeachment.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Will Rogers’ “In Europe public men do resign. But here it’s a lost art. You have to impeach ’em.”
Stories We’re Working On
Obama’s Economy growing in reverse- Jobless claims jump to 368,000
- Harry Reid says, “We’re in a Recovery”
- White House announces Obama’s Jobs Council now shutting down
- Prostitute says Dem Senator Bob Menendez “Likes the youngest and newest girls”
- Crazed Libtalker says John McCain deserved to be tortured by North Vietnamese
- Obama says “The best is yet to come.”
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said Conservatives would be celebrating Ronald Reagan’s 102nd birthday this weekend: (A) Reading Ronald Reagan’s quotes: 2% (B) Watching Ronald Reagan’s movies: 1% (C) Following Ronald Reagan’s Principles: 3% (D) Calling everybody “Gipper”: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Weather-Guessers on TV
This week, everybody who thinks Groundhog Day proves just how easily fat TV weathermen who grope fellow employees can be replaced by furry rodents, twittered an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is our own Linda Libel, since Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane took our longtime Whistleblower gossip columnist to that Groundhog Day party where she first met her husband (who won the Groundhog Lookalike Contest, and in all those years since, Linda still hasn’t forgiven him.
Linda wins a “Got Beaver?” T-shirt, a recipe for delicious Groundhog Stew, and an x-rated video depicting the mating habits of over-sexed Groundhogs. Her winning entry is:
At our Groundhog’s Day party this year We’ll be filled with the usual fear: Will the blizzards continue, Or are warm days on the menu? Aw, who cares! Let’s just stock up on beer!
At our Groundhog’s Day Party this year For Mitt Romney we’ll all shed a tear. Last year’s election was a bummer ‘Cause voters just got dumber Maybe someday we’ll have something tom cheer.
At our Groundhog’s Day Party this year Eric “Call Me Crazy” did not appear. He was up burning the old midnight oil Hoping another judicial ass-whupping to foil, Not to mention that large boot up his rear.
And from our Anderson Laureate, who says “That’s good groundhog”:
At our Groundhog Day party this year,
We’re serving plenty of beer
We’ll keep the hog from his bunk
By getting him good and drunk
And Spring will be wonderfully near.
If he sees his shadow, we’ll stay cold
For another six weeks, I’ve been told
So keep the sun hidden,
You must, I’m not kiddin’
I hate winter because I’m so old.
Let’s hope that it stays nice and dim
And the sun stays far away from him
‘Cause then Spring will come
And the cold won’t keep us numb,
Six more weeks of winter is too grim!
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“If You Forget St. Valentine’s Day.”
CELEBRATING BLACK HISTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite chitlins recipes today.
Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this Commemorative Black History Month Greeting from former KKK Grand Klegal, Good DemocRAT U. S. Senator Robert Byrd.
Link of the Day
Brother Bowl 2013
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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