Saturday, December 1, 2012
Bluegrass Bellylaugher
Kentucky’s GOP Senate Leader Mitch McConnell couldn’t hold back his laughter after Obama’s Turbo Tax Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner outlined the administration’s $1.6 Trillion Tax Hike proposal for averting the fiscal cliff that would only cover Obama’s Spending for Eight Days, just like the oil that lasted in the Hanukkah lamps:
1. An immediate $1 trillion tax hike through higher top marginal income tax rates as well as higher taxes on both capital gains and dividends.
2. An agreement to raise $600 billion more in taxes later this year by limiting tax deductions for top earners.
3. $50 billion in new infrastructure stimulus spending.
4. Another “emergency” extension of unemployment benefits.
5. An extension of either the payroll tax cut or the reinstatement of Obama’s stimulus Making Work Pay tax credit.
6. A mortgage refinancing program.
7. Billions in new spending to prevent cuts to Medicare reimbursement payments for doctors.
8. An infinite debt limit hike.
More Fiscal Cliff Diving Commentary
Whistleblower Presidential Scholar Dorian Grady says Ronald Reagan once fell for a “tax now, cut later” deal that he later deeply regretted. Dishonest DemocRATS got the tax, but Reagan never got the cuts. Obama’s offer is only a raw partisan maneuver designed to neuter the Republicans by getting them to cave on their signature issue as the hold-the-line party on taxes.- Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says amazingly, 42% still give Obama positive marks on the Economy.
- In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio RINO Party Chairman Boob Bennett sent out an e-mail asking for donations of $5, $25, $50, or more right now to rally Ohioans to send a message to Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS about their ultimatum to “Agree to massive tax increases WITHOUT considering spending reductions/entitlement reform, or we’ll drive the nation (and the economy) right over the fiscal cliff.” Wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper just to remind U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Filibusters” Portman and Ohio’s Republicans in the House to honor their “No New Taxes Pledge?”
Maybe the Boobster would have to make an additional phone call to Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, who never signed the pledge in the first place.
- Disgraced Former Hamilton County Commissioner David A. Pepper will join other Demo-Labor Liberal Whackos Saturday morning at the Gospel Coffee Shop in Roselawn to launch the so-called “Ohio Action Coalition,” another meaningless group formed to rubber-stamp Obama’s “Tax to the Max Campaign.”
- Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose H.L. Mencken’s “A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.”
ROMNEY SUPPORTERS ANONYMOUS: At yesterday’s meeting in Goshen, our Recovering Republican we’ll call “John” was really bent out of shape looking at that photograph of Romney shaking hands with Obama after he was suckered into showing up for a photo-op lunch on Thursday with Obama in the Oval Office.
Maybe that’s why Mitt ordered a McFlurry milkshake at McDonald’s right before he went to the White House. If he’s learned anything during his campaign, at least he would’ve gone to Chick-Fil-A.
And what did Obama have on the menu? Do you suppose it was a delicious platter of crow?
TYPICAL OBAMA SUPPORTERS: Dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, and uninformed short-attention-span Obama Supporters Tom and Rose were paying no attention to the latest Gallup Poll showing Obama’s approval had fallen below 50% for the first time since the election, and spent all afternoon on Cyber-Monday trying to decide which Obama Christmas Ornaments to order online from Obama’s Legacy Campaign Office at the White House.- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “This week, CBS News became the first news organization besides Fox to ask President Obama ‘Who changed the Benghazi talking points?’ See, this is very dangerous to the White House if journalists should suddenly start asking real questions.”
ALL OBAMA’S GENERALS: Groupie Jill Kelley, 37, one of the women at the center of the sex and national security scandal that brought down four-star Army general David Petraeus, has lost her cherished Florida honorary consul license plates. The revocation of the plates came two days after South Korea stripped Kelley of her honorary consul title for misusing it in business dealings. Who says BureaucRATS can move when they want to?
LOSERS WEEPERS: Now, in case you’re not one of the two Powerball Winners splitting THE $587.5 million prize that would funded the Federal government for four hours:- COUNTING THE CANDLES: Did CQ Roll Call really use “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s birthday announcement to remind everybody how our Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch was the first incumbent to lose to a primary challenger this year? Here’s what that publication said:
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano (55); Jean Schmidt of Ohio (61), the first of the 13 House members ousted in primaries this year. (She lost her bid for the Republican nomination to a fourth full term in March to podiatric surgeon Brad Wenstrup, who’s now a member-elect.)” — David Hawkings, editor
- ALSO IN OH2: Dave Langdon at Langdon Law and William Bristol with Gary Franke’s law firm were especially grateful this year for their fool for a client Fred “The Shill” Kundrata. By the time it is all said and done, his disastrous campaign will have spent more money on legal fees than campaigning. Hey guys, once you get done laughing your way to the bank, perhaps you can help your client respond to those seven month old Requests For Additional Information from the FEC. Then maybe you can get started on the four month old one as well. Then you can start working on the next one that should be arriving any day now!
MEANWHILE IN OH1: Cyber-Sales really picked up this week when folks found out those amazing Chabotheads would be on sale again this year.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN SAYS on this date in 1824, because no candidate had received a majority of electoral votes, the presidential election was turned over to the House of Representatives, as dictated by the 12th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. OK, all you Presidential scholars out there, tell us who the winner was. Who says it doesn’t matter who your Representative in Congress is?
TODAY’S UNITED APPALL PERSON is beloved character actor Tor Johnson, who calls Kristen Erwin at the United Appall’s Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky Film Commission every day to see if there’s a part for him in any of the movies that are supposed to be filmed locally. Kristen tells Tor about all the money they are getting from all those wonderful film premiers, all about her nice salary, and all the film stars she’s had her picture taken with. Kristen also tells Tor that she might have a nice part for him real soon, but not to call her, she will call him.
HAMILTON COUNTY RINOS: Party Boss Alex T., Mal Cop GOP e-mailed the gullible to announce he’d already begun discussions with potential Cincinnati clown-cil and mayoral candidates, and about initiatives to help promote the continued Bluing of the City. Old Blueface said he will be holding a meeting of the Cincinnati Policy Committee early in 2013 to formulate strategy amongst stakeholders. If you’re interested in holding a stake while somebody hammers it through Chairman Alex’s aorta, please e-mail The Blower for more info.
BIRDS OF A FEATHER: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers how we never really got a good explanation of Kentucky Fourth District Congressman Goof Doofus’ reasons for quitting Congress earlier this year. Yesterday we learned the Goofster is becoming a one of those evil “lobbyists” he used to take all that money from when he was in Congress. Doofus (shown here with another well-known influence peddler) and lobbyist Hunter Bates are launching Republic Consulting LLC, which will offer services in government relations.” Is that a surprise or what?
ANOTHER GREAT HOLIDAY PARTY: Now that almost everybody has returned home from Rick “The Batboy” Robinson’s Annual “Holiday Reception” at the Fort Mitchell Country Club on Wednesday night, everybody’s making plans to attend our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders’ Sixth Annual Christmas Party on Friday, December 21, where people who really dislike Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters will be celebrating the season.
UNTIL THEN, we have a new video today where you can see Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane reminding everybody not to forget “The Whistleblower Motto” during the Obama holiday season. [WATCH IT HERE]
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
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