Thursday, November 22, 2012

Who’re the Biggest Turkeys for 2012?

Last weekend, the guys at “Not the Fishwrap” received a veritable cornucopia of votes for their Fifth Annual Whistleblower Turkey Decorating Contest for Thanksgiving, where the person who was selected as the biggest turkey of the year would be shown with his head on the body of a turkey. This year, the 2012 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest is again being sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurants and Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.

First we showed you a video of the 2011 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Awards and asked you to let us know which person you thought deserved the Biggest Turkey of the Year Award in 2012. At Tuesday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, we even held a Turkey in the Straw Poll.

Then our distinguished panel of judges was scheduled to meet in executive session to select our finalists for the Biggest Turkey of the Year, and using that same “fair, open, and honest process” which has become a time-honored tradition in Hamilton County and Ohio RINO Party Politics, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane would then suggest the name of the winners and of course all of those suck-ups at the Conservative Agenda would agreed.

The only problem was, every one of the 17,648 noxious nominations we received in 2012 was for the same winners we had in 2011 — Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP in Ohio and Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters in Kentucky.

The Whistleblower Research Department called every single one of the nominators to verify their entries, and in every instance, the response was exactly the same. There are just no bigger turkeys in the tri-state than “Old Blueface” in Ohio and Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters in Kentucky. The consensus was unanimous— “There Are No Term Limits for Turkeys of the Year.”

Then the guys at “Not the Fishwrap” told us to go screw ourselves, because they weren’t making another making another video for 2012 when the guys who won the 2012 Turkey of the Year Contest were the same as the guys who had won the contest the year before.

Now you can watch that video here

This is the Official “Biggest Turkey of the Year” Contest. Any other “Biggest Turkey of the Year” Contest you may see published elsewhere on Thanksgiving is surely a fake, especially the one in the Morning Fishwrap.