Daily Archives: November 9, 2012

Official “Mourning in America” E-dition

Friday, November 9, 2012

If You Thought the Last Four Years Were Bad…

  • NO JOY IN ROMNEY-VILLE: Many Romney voters are experiencing profound post-election depression these days. According to Dr. Linda Reiss, a psychologist in Minneapolis, in some cases, it even extends beyond disappointment over the election results. “Anger over a candidate or an issue winning or losing can subconsciously trigger other emotions that have been buried, some deep disappointment that occurred when we were much younger or even when we were children. During the days following elections we are often reminded of how we felt at other times in our lives when we felt those close to us where not making rational decisions.”
  • REPUBLICAN REVENGE: Looking at how Romney lost the dirtiest campaign in American History, The Blower remembers 1996 when Bill Clinton was reelected. Clinton was already known to be a corrupt and evil individual, when he spoke at a black church and tied Bob Dole to church bombings. Clinton also launched cruise missiles (ineffectively) at Al Queda camps for political reasons within hours of his latest attack on Ken Starr being badly received. He was a bad man and a bad president. Republicans impeached the Pants-Dropper-in-Chief during his second term. Maybe they can do the same thing for Obama.
  • BOEHNER BOWS: How long after Fox News called the election for Obama did it take GOP House Speaker John Boehner to cave in and announce he was agreeable to raising taxes? 20 minutes? The Blower bets our Tea Party Patriots were glad they agreed to be co-opted by the Republican Party in 2012 after their big win in 2010.
  • “GOING GALT” is a term you’ll be seeing more of these days. If you’ve read Ayn Rand‘s Atlas Shrugged, you appreciate the parallels between today’s disintegrating world and the events depicted in that prophetic novel. Atlas Shrugged is the story about John Galt and how productive people went on strike, withdrawing their services in protest against a society that damned them for being productive and expropriated the fruits of their labor.

It’s easy to “Go Galt.” That Las Vegas employer so said, “Obama won, so I fired 22 employees” just to get the hang of it.

  • WHAT’S NEXT FOR ROB ‘FIGHTING FOR FUNDRAISERS” PORTMAN: The Robmeister’s efforts on behalf of Mitt Romney during the entire 2012 Presidential Campaign were so commendable, The Blower can’t find anything to complain about. Now some Political Insiders think the Robmeister should take charge of the National Republican Senatorial Committee for 2014, to help the GOP win the Senate; that’s if, Senator Portman didn’t have something to do with picking Josh Mandel to run against DemocRAT Incumbent Sherrod Brown in 2012.
  • ALREADY RUNNING: Licentious Libertarian Jim Berns, enthused by receiving three times as many votes in Tuesday’s election as he did two years ago, announced on Wednesday that he will be a candidate for Congress again in Ohio’s First District in 2014. Meanwhile, Congressman Steve Chabothead says, “What took him so long?”
  • THE WHISTLEBLOWER CONSERVATIVE FOCUS GROUP is attempting to analyze: (1) what went wrong, (2) what went right, and (3) what, if anything, your GOP leadership at all levels could possibly do to correct their many past mistakes. First, each member of the Focus Group was asked to submit three enlightening explanations for what had happened Tuesday night on the worst day in our country’s history.

Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen took center stage: “First,” our historical commentator explained, The US electorate has experienced a fundamental change. The high level of black, Hispanic and young voters that turned out in 2008 turned out again and this time even a little more.

“Second, Hurricane Sandy allowed Obama to look presidential at the last minute when he had been looking very small and petty during his entire campaign. Additionally, RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie gave Obama a gift that he couldn’t have bought with $100 Million —LEGITIMACY. Romney was up five points with momentum before the Super Storm Sandy and talking about “bipartisanship to solve country’s problems,” but one of the GOP’s most ardent partisans was seen hugging Obama and talking about the great job was doing. It was all Obama needed. 42% of Obama’s voters said his Sandy response was important and 15% said the most important. If just 1-2% of those were undecided, that was the race. Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 12% of voters decided during the last week before the Elections, and 4% made up their minds on Election Day.

“And Third, as much as people said they weren’t voting for Obama in surveys and could admit he was a bad president, when they got in the booth they thought about their Welfare, Social Security, Medicare, food stamps, free phones, and all those other government handouts they’ve been receiving and said ‘I gotta have all this free stuff, and Obama’s not going to take it away. Romney might,’ so they held their noses and voted for Obama.”

Romney came close to estimating the percentage of Moochers and Slackers in the Divided States of America who would vote for Obama no matter what. If it’d only been 47%, Mitt Romney would be getting ready to move into the White House next January 20.

  • NoKY NEWS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says according to our Good Friend James McNair in CityBleat, Answers in Genesis’ Bible Thumpers Museum in Petersburg, Ky., has seen attendance decline every year during the Obama Administration. [READ THAT STORY HERE] James should’ve asked how many brontosauruses and pterodactyls they plan to lay off during Obama’s second term.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1875, followers of Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse were identified as “hostile.” But today, the Obama Administration would still not call them “terrorists.”
  • MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Custer’s “Where in the hell did all those fucking terrorists come from?”
  • DEM BUNGLING BUNGALS: Former Tailgater Tino DelGato says Marvin Lewis holds a unique record for NFL coaches. He now has 10 years at one location with no playoff wins, a below .500 career winning percentage while making $25 million dollars. But he can extend that record next year. Mike Brown holds the record for GM’s and Owners. Go Figure!!
  • FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane happened to all those so-called “Values Voters” on Tuesday, when social conservatives were supposed to over-run their polling places in 2012. “I looks like all those Chick-Fil-A supporters we saw earlier this year were out to lunch,” Kane explained. 

Stories We’re Working On

  • Top Obama officials to testify at House Benghazi hearing
  •  Obama win may be good news for Pakistan flag-makers
  • VA store closes for day to “mourn the loss of America”
  • Boeing announces big layoffs
  • FEMA office on Staten Island closed due to weather
  • Looting Reaches Epidemic Levels
  • Obama says, “The best is yet to come!”

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Obama won re-election this week:

(A) $3 Billion of negative advertising: 2%
(B) Campaigning at over-Taxed Payers’ Expense: 1%
(C) Aided and Abetted by Corrupt News Media: 1%
(D) Obama’s Moochers and Slackers 47% turned out to be 49%: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

A Hero is Not Just a Sandwich

This week, everybody who says veterans and active duty personnel need to be thanked more than one day per year, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is real war hero Ollie Hackworth, one of the survivors of that “Three Against a Thousand Massacre” The Blower described earlier this week.

Ollie wins an autographed picture of Sergeant York, a complete set of Audie Murphy westerns on DVD, and a free dinner on Veterans Day at Dummy’s Restaurant. His winning entry is:

This year on Veterans Day
I’ll be going out of my way
To tell the leeches in America
To cut the crap and hysteria
‘Cause we don’t believe whatever they say.

This year on Veterans Day
Patriotism should be on display.
This may be one of the last chances we’ve got,
Now that our currency isn’t worth squat,
To celebrate before the US of A goes away.

This year on Veterans Day
You can do it any old way.
Because, what the hell
With don’t ask and don’t tell
We honor them both straight and gay.

This year on Veterans Day
We still won’t know who is gay.
“Don’t ask and don’t tell”
Still holds for all personnel,
Even those wearing cologne and hair spray.

This year on Veteran’s Day
There’s just one thing I want to say
“Thanks” to our brave vets
On the land, ships and jets
We owe them more than we can pay.

This year on Veteran’s Day
Let’s see what The Messiah has to say,
I’m sure his rhetoric
Will be meteoric
With his teleprompter leading the way.

And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (It’s not terribly mean-spirited this time, but then, he’s a Republican):

This year when it’s Veteran’s Day
Remember the price some had to pay
They fought Hitler and Minh
Giving their lives to win
“God bless ’em” is all I can say.

They fought in the Pacific and in ‘Nam
Some were killed by a suicide bomb
We’re proud of them all
They answered the call
And stood up to radical Islam.

In our country, we want to be free
And so far, that’s how we’re allowed to be
But our enemies won’t quit
They’ll come at us bit by bit
A courageous, strong military’s the key.

Thanks to those who gave their lives
We can’t give them enough high fives
Some lost a leg or an arm
Just to save us from harm
They’ll be saints when Judgment Day arrives.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“The Reason We All Feel Depressed”

CONSERVATIVE FOCUS GROUP HOT LINE

E-mail your serious suggestions today. 

Some truly insightful items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally truly insightful subscribers.     

Link of the Day

After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016

     Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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