Wednesday, November 7, 2012
We’re Still Staying Around
The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement twenty years ago on the day after Election Day in 1992 following our decision to suspend publication a year earlier.
Our November 5, 1991 Edition # 75 of the original Whistleblower print edition was supposed to be our final edition. But Hurley the Historian said we had to return, because after witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, we had no choice.
The results of the 1992 elections were not all that surprising. Voters, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom The Blower predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.
America got a leader it truly deserved— more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, and rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.
Fast forward to the Media’s Obama-nation of 2012: It’s been the most dishonest, relentlessly one-sided campaign of bias and distortion by the mainstream media in American history. We thought we’d already witnessed the “Death of Objective Journalism in America,” but unfortunately, this year our Obama Supporters in the Press were still too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to bring you the truth.
Not that all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span registered voters gave a big rat’s ass. People seemed surprised when we asked them if they planned to vote on Tuesday. Their ignorance and apathy were overwhelming. We thought we were watching Jay Leno interviewing all those really stupid people on TV.
- Back in ’92, The Blower only planned to stay around for a short time. But even after 7,308 days of penetrating reporting, scathing commentary, and shining the light of truth on liars and deceivers, our Kneepad Liberals in the Press (especially Skaggie Maggie and her Feckless Fishwrappers) still don’t get it. Their coverage of Indecision 2012 became even more lazy, stupid, and dishonest. “Media Watchdogs, indeed!” How about when The Fishwrap sent cyberspace into frenzy Tuesday morning with their erroneous early vote total projections that showed Romney had a 92,000 early vote total lead, when no early votes had actually been counted. Cincinnati.com claims it regrets the error.
But for a more accurate count, today the U.S. Debt Clock is above $16 trillion, and Congress better start thinking about Sequestration and that Fiscal Cliff they have us headed for. Members of the Conservative Agenda will begin analyzing results of Indecision 2012. Will The Blower be gloating about the number of our predictions that came true? You bet! As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the tri-state, our readers have every right to expect nothing less.
Voters have obviously not yet learned what those Loony Libertarians always say, that “a vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil,” and people who don’t stand for something will fall for anything, because no matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in.- Left-wing lunatics always predict The Whistleblower will cease to exist after Election Day, and once again this year, that prophecy did not come true. Our Quote for Today Committee says according to Mark Twain, “Reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated,” and as Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda at Chick-Fil-A, now it looks as if we get to have to stick around for just a little while longer.
You have only yourselves to blame.
We’re going to do it until they get it right.
So perhaps it’s time once again for Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto (Let’s all say it together):
Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.
Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.
And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for RINOs.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially lazy, stupid, and dishonest members of the news media.
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