Saturday, November 3, 2012
Don’t Be Surprised When Obama Loses
FRIDAY BEFORE THE ELECTION: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Friday when Obama’s October Unemployment Rate rose to 7.9%, that made it higher than when Obama took office, meaning Obama is now facing re-election with the highest Unemployment of any incumbent since FDR. Remember when Obama promised it would be under 6%? What else did you expect? Obama never did have a recovery plan.
Under Obama, the number of people on Food Stamps has grown 75 times more than the number of jobs created during his Administration. Can you believe a PMSNBC host actually thinks Super Storm Sandy that claimed 98 lives is great because it helped Obama: “It’s been a really good week for the president?”
The size of Obama’s campaign rallies are a lot smaller than they were in 2008. Only 2,800 people showed up in Hilliard, Ohio (wherever the hell that is). But if Obama wants to see big crowds, tell him to check out the mile-long lines of people in New Jersey waiting to pay $6-per-gallon for gasoline, when they can get it, and hungry people in New York eating out of dumpsters. Obama was in New Jersey for a photo op earlier this week, then it was back on Air Force One for some last minute campaigning in all 57 states at over-taxed payers’ expense.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Obama surrogate Bill Clinton’s “I may be the only person in America more excited about Obama this time.”
Obama is bringing in Stevie Wonder for his desperation rally at UC—talk about the blind leading the blind! Why UC — the bill Obama VP Buffoon Joe Biden’s Mediscare Stump Speech at the MILF-ord High School cafeteria in September still hasn’t been paid.
And in a speech to a packed room of Obama for America phone bank volunteers at the DemocRAT National Committee headquarters Thursday night in Washington, D.C., Special Assistant to the President Kareem Dale said that people with disabilities are going to be “absolutely killed” under the proposed policies of Mitt Romney and delivered strong message to the crowd: “let’s win this motherfucker.”
Hang in there, Everybody! Our Long National Nightmare will be over in only “three” more days and we can all start counting down the number of days until Obama and Michelle are evicted from the White House on January 20. 2013, and the Worst President in American History can move into his $40 Million Mansion in Hawaii, co-signed by one of their rich backers from Chicago.
TOP TEN LIST: Today, it’s the Top Ten Reasons to Stay Home on Election Day:
10. Mattress Warehouse is having a big sale.
9. Typical lousy Greater Cincinnati weather
8. Nude transvestites on the Springer Show
7. Still “Undecided”
6. Term limits won’t undo the damage
5. Waiting for the really important elections in 2016
4. Busy begging for money to cover your own medical expenses
3. Avoid poll workers shoving campaign literature in your face
2. Confused about all those conflicting endorsements
…and the Number One Reason to Stay Home on Election Day is…you voted early.
VENDORSEMENTS: The Whistleblower does not make political endorsements, either for candidates or issues. Unlike other publications, we present as many facts as we can find and trust that our readers are intelligent enough to come to an informed decision. And since we do not accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interest groups to dictate their prejudices, we would not insult our readership by presuming that they are not bright enough to critically evaluate the candidates and issues on their own.
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF’S CANDIDATE: The last e-mail sent by the Hamilton County RINO Party may have broken new ground for stupidity. This e-mail shows Sheriff’s candidate Jim Neil photographed with several Democrats, and therefore concludes that we shouldn’t vote for Neil because that would advance the DemocRAT agenda. This e-mail was sent by Ashwin Corratiyil, who himself is a former campaign worker for DemocRAT John Kerry! Hypocrisy much?
We should be less concerned with photographs and more concerned about the policies the candidates espouse. Sean Donovan campaigned for higher sales taxes, supports the streetcar, and opposes a performance audit of the Sheriff’s budget. Gee, that sounds a lot like the DemocRAT agenda. Jim Neil opposes higher taxes, even for a new jail and opposes the streetcar. He supports consolidating major functions of the Department, cutting administrators, and supports a performance audit.
The many Republicans supporting Neil aren’t doing so because we’re being fooled. They support Neil because he’s the more conservative candidate, the more qualified one, and the one who has the best plans for bringing the office into the 21st Century. If you want to see a list of fools, find all the Republicans supporting big government candidate Sean Donovan just because he has the “R” after his name. Alex TryinToFoolYou can send all the dumb e-mails he wants, but it doesn’t change that Neil is the better candidate for any right-of-center voter who wants a good Sheriff’s Department.
ANOTHER GUEST EDITORIAL BY BUNKY TADWELL: A word about voting. Stop it. Do not encourage these people. Year after year somebody has to have a voter registration drive. Look at what it hath wrought. So please, no more voter registration drives. We have too many people mucking about in the booth as it is.
Now about those candidates: They are saying more about nothing than ever before. One hapless buffoon is speaking in tongues or has elevated the art of gobbledygook to new heights. Another candidate claims he’s been working hard to earn re-election. Judging from his real accomplishments, this guy should be placed in a slower class.
Should we keep taking cheap shots at these people? Why not? Remember that the quality of our political candidates simply reflects our culture. They say and do nothing because the public wishes to hear nothing and have nothing done. It’s all crap because people are buying crap.
And if they do promise you something? They can’t give it to you unless they take it from somebody else. And if they take it from you, you can be sure you’ll be getting back less than you gave.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s, “I had a trick-or-treater Wednesday night who stood outside on my porch for an hour, didn’t ring the bell, didn’t knock on the door. I said, “Who are you supposed to be?” He said, “I’m an undecided voter.”- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN SAYS on this day in 1948, the Chicago Tribune jumped the gun and mistakenly declared New York Governor Thomas Dewey the winner of his presidential race with incumbent Harry S. Truman in a front-page headline: “Dewey Defeats Truman.” Even then our news media made small mistakes. That part hasn’t changed much, except now all their “mistakes” are on purpose.
LEGAL LUNACY: The Cabal of Northern Kentucky attorneys out to destroy “Crazy Eric” Deters wonders if anybody has sent this disgraceful picture to the Kentucky Bar Association of “Crazy Eric” and his wife dressed on Halloween like his client, the infamous oversexed education teacher Sarah Jones and her high school student stud muffin.
At the very least, it puts the lie to (and might even create Rule 11 problems for him on) his claim that Skaggie Maggie, Wedgie Washburn, Jim Hannah, and Terry DeMio at The Fishwrap ruined her reputation by accurately stating that she had sex with her underage student. Even Sarah’s lawyer is mocking her.
And that website she sued might like to see the picture, too, since she has such a horrible reputation as a slut that HER OWN LAWYER and his wife paraded around as Sarah and her victim.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why so many people still claim to be “undecided” about this year’s elections. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “It’s because we don’t have “None of the Above” on the ballot.
On election night, Trish the Dish and Sheree Paolello could announce The Whistleblower Newswire has projected a winner in the Presidential contest. According to The Blower’s computer analysis of key precincts, the final vote tabulation should look something like this:
Mitt Romney: 6%
Barack Obama: 6%
All those third party kooks combined: 2%
None of the Above: 86%
And according to tradition, the mainstream press would of course be on hand next January when “None-of-the-Above” is inaugurated President of These United States.
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
LAST-MINUTE ATTACK ADS HOT LINE
E-mail your lies and deceptions today.
Some really negative items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really negative subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
LINK OF THE DAY
Obama Bumper Sticker Removal Kit
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
