Special “Gathering Storm” E-dition

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

  • A real hurricane is headed toward Washington D.C. in only “6” more days, but in the meantime, so is Sandy. —National Weather Service
  • Should we delay this month’s bad jobs report and blame it on Hurricane Sandy? —Obama’s Labor Department
  • The Shock and Dismay after a Romney win will be too horrible to watch. —Beltway Insiders
  • We’ve canceled campaign events, commercials, and fundraising appeals in states that will be impacted by Hurricane Sandy, and we’re using our campaign bus to help deliver supplies to those who will be impacted by what forecasters are predicting may be a “storm of the century. Mitt Romney has already gotten his message across to voters and we didn’t want to trivialize matters by talking about the state of the race when you have so many people right now that are going to be adversely impacted by the storm. —The Romney Campaign
  • If Obama can a cancel campaign event for a hurricane photo op, why didn’t he cancel Las Vegas fund-raisers after the Benghazi attack? —Newt Gingrich, speaking at Warren County GOP Headquarters in Lebanon on Monday
  • When Obama watched my son get murdered live during the Benghazi massacre, did he think he was watching a video game? —Charlie Woods, Father of Slain Former U.S. Navy SEAL Tyrone Woods
  • That’s why we chose Obama’s “I do take offense with some suggestion that in any way, we haven’t tried to make sure that the American people knew as the information was coming in what we believed.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • Please don’t asking why we haven’t followed up on why the Incredible Shrinking President refused to answer Denver TV Report Kyle Clark’s question about whether it’s fair to make Americans wait for answers on Benghazi-gate until after the election. —Toothless Media Watchdogs
  • Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Depressed,” I guaranteed Romney would win the Buckeye State. —Ohio Republican Governor John Kasich
  • That Tsunami Warning in Hawaii was just downgraded to an advisory, so there’s no danger to that $40 million mansion where Obama and Michelle plan to move after the leaves office on January 20, 2013. —Hawaiian Hula Dancers and Houseboys
  • Because the 2012 Presidential Election may be won or lost in Hamilton County, Ohio, Obama is coming to town on Halloween to confiscate all the candy your children have collected and redistribute it to the 47% of kids who were too lazy to go trick-or-treating for themselves. —Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
  • If Hamilton County is so important, why are Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Ann Romney, and the Entire Republican Team scheduled to be at a big victory rally in West Chester Friday Night? —Hamilton County Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP, Tweeting Away
  • Do you think Union Township Trustees Timothy Donnellon, Robert McGee, and Matthew Beamer declared November 6 “Jean Schmidt Day” to remind everybody That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch isn’t on the ballot because she got beat in the primary? —Clermont County Cronies
  • Tomorrow I’ll be in Virginia at Liberty University right in the path of Hurricane Sandy to speak about the election at their 11,000 student convocation. —Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen
  • DemocRATS voting for abortion and same-sex marriage will burn in hell. —Green Bay Bishop David Ricken
  • After we endorsed Mitt Romney on Sunday, shouldn’t we be covering “All the News That’s Fit for Mitt?” —Feckless Fishwrappers
  • Just how bad an idea is 4-year terms for Cincinnati City Clown-cil when Republicans and DemocRATS can make a bi-partisan commercial opposing it? —Amy Murray and Charlie Luken
  • We’re already observing Ohio elections to combat all that “voter suppression” Liberals claim, like why there are no Section 8 residents voting in Hamilton County’s Indian Hill Precincts. —UN monitors
  • At Sunday’s big First Congressional District Debate on Fountain Square, only Loony Libertarian Jim Berns and Green Party Rich Stevenson participated. DemocRAT Jeff Sinnard and Republican Steve Chabothead did not even show up, and only the horse was listening. — Cincinnati Fireman Al Harden of Colerain Township, Who Moderated the Debate

  • We totally approve of Obama’s new ad comparing a young girl’s losing her virginity to the first time voting for Obama. — Local “Sluts for Obama” Laure “Not so” Cleanlivin and Denise Dreihaus
  • This year on Halloween, I’m frivolously suing Jim Hannah and The Fishwrap for defaming NoKY’s second-most infamous oversexed education teacher Sarah Jones by saying she had sex with a student, despite slutty Sarah’s felony guilty plea and admission to doing just that. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
  • Check out this year’s Whistleblower Halloween Video. —Jib Jab
  • Those wussies on Vanilla Hills City Clown-cil were too scared to convict me so I’m still in office and I’ll be running unopposed for reelection too/ —Disgraced Mayor Mike Martin
  • On this date in 1938, Charles Foster Kane lookalike Orson Welles caused a nationwide panic with his broadcast of “War of the Worlds”—a realistic radio dramatization of a Martian invasion of Earth, and every day our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane tries to cause a similar tri-state panic about tax increases during the Obama Depression. —Hurley the Historian
  • Can You imagine if an alien space craft landed in Taylor Mill and people heard Professor Orson Kane report everything in Kenton, Campbell, and Boondoggle County had been destroyed. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • Trish the Dish says the world wasn’t destroyed at our studio. —TV 19 News
  • Many people said I asked a very intelligent question at last week’s televised Mandel-Brown Senate Debate. —TV 5’s Sheree Paolello

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower ridicules public panic to show that people who fall for radio hoaxes are not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who doesn’t believe everything they see in the news media.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span voters.

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