Special “Another Romney Rally” E-dition

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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Top Ten List

With only “11” more days until the Presidential Elections, time is really running out for the Obama campaign. The debates are over. DemocRATS are broke. Every day Mitt Romney continues to surge in the polls. $500 Million spent on negative attack ads haven’t worked. What our Disingenuous DemocRATS need are some new reasons to tell people why they shouldnot vote for Mitt Romney:

10. Drop-dead, ad handsome with gracious, statesmanlike aura has to be fake. Looks like every central casting’s #1 choice for Commander-in-Chief.

9. Been married to ONE woman his entire life, and has been faithful to her, including through her bouts with breast cancer and MS.

8. No scandals or skeletons in his closet. (How boring is that?)

7. Can’t speak in a fake, southern, “black preacher voice” at the podium.

6. Highly intelligent, Graduated cum laude from both Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School…and by the way, his academic records are NOT sealed.

5. Doesn’t smoke or drink alcohol and has never done drugs, not even in the counter-culture age when he went to college. Too square for today’s America?

4. Represents an America of “yesterday,” where people believed in God, went to Church, didn’t screw around, worked hard, and became a SUCCESS!

3. Has a family of five great sons… and none of them have police records or are in drug rehab. But of course, they were raised by a stay-at-home mom, and that “choice” alone has prompted America’s scorn.

2. Oh yes, he’s a MORMON. We need to be very afraid of that very strange religion that teaches its members to be clean-living, patriotic, fiscally responsible, charitable, self-reliant, and honest. Compare Romney’s Mormonism with the racist rhetoric of Jeremiah Wright.

…And the Number One Reason Not to Vote for Mitt Romney is…Obama Supporters in the Press say because of his wealth, he can’t relate to ordinary Americans. Maybe that’s because he made that money HIMSELF, as opposed to marrying it or inheriting it from Dad. Apparently, he didn’t understand that actually working at a job and earning your own money made you un-relatable and offensive to Americans.

Panic Time at Obama HQ

Since Monday’s Final Presidential Debate, the Obama campaign has e-mailed a record number of spam grams to supporters. Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say theirs have included:

  • Obama: “This is in your hands now. Chip in $5 or more, and let’s go win.”
  • National Finance Director Rufus Gifford:

Total you’ve donated for the 2012 campaign cycle: $0

Your most recent donation was: $0

Suggested donation today: $5

  • Michelle: “If we’re going to win this, it’ll be because of what you do right now. Barack and I can’t thank you enough.”
  • Fireman Jim Heath: “Ohio’s autoworkers, teachers, firefighters, cops, and nurses — there is so much at stake for all of us. We can’t afford to sit this election out.”
  • Obama: “I don’t want to lose this election. Not because of what losing would mean for me — Michelle and I will be fine no matter what happens.”
  • National Finance Director Rufus Gifford: “This is your chance to fly to Chicago to meet the President in two weeks, and have a front-row seat to history on Election Night.”
  • Deputy National Field Director Marlon Marshall: “It might have been a while since you stepped up to volunteer — but it’s not too late to play a big role in our ground game. We need you to pitch in this weekend.”
  • Michelle: Barack would like to thank you personally for all you’re doing — but now’s the time to take the next step in your support. If you chip in $5 or whatever you can, you’ll automatically be entered to come to Chicago, meet Barack, and be right up front on Election Night.
  • And at MoveOn.org, Billionaire George Soros says “I’m freaking out. Despite President Obama and Vice President Biden dominating the past few debates, the race is still incredibly close.”

More Politics Unusual

  • SO WHO WON THE THIRD DEBATE: Let’s see what the folks from Next Media Animation had to say.
  • WHISTLEBLOWER POLLSTER RON RASMUSSEN: Wednesday was the second day in a row for Romney to be leading 50%-46%. Gallup reported Romney leading 51% to 46%, and Ohio was tied 48% to 48%.
  • FISHWRAP FRONT PAGE: Headlines told the whole story Wednesday about Tuesday’s Presidential Campaign in Ohio. The top story promoted Obama’s lies and deceptions in Dayton. Underneath was the related item: “Stink bugs invade Tristate.”
  • OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s, “So far for Halloween, sales of Obama masks are 30% higher than the sales of Mitt Romney masks. That makes sense. I mean, what’s scarier than four more years of this economy?”
  • DONALD TRUMP’S OFFER: If Obama releases his college records and his passport records, then Trump says he will give $5 million to Obama’s favorite charity.
  • DEMOCRAT THUGS: In Wisconsin, Obama thugs beat a State Senator’s son to a pulp when he tried to stop them from stealing a family yard sign
  • DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD: North Carolina voters say ballot cast for Romney came up “Obama” twice on machine.
  • MORE DEMOCRAT VOTER FRAUD: Virginia DemocRAT Congressman’s son caught on video discussing fake IDs for Obama voters.
  • DEMOCRAT ILLEGAL CAMPAIGNING: Colorado Republicans say DemocRATS illegally offered Colorado State University students free pizza and T-shirts in exchange for voting for Obama.
  • OBAMA AND THE PRESS: On Tuesday, Obama refused to go on-the-record in an interview with the publisher and editor of The Des Moines Register, a prominent newspaper in Iowa. The Register is a left-of-center publication. After the editors were held up to ridicule by other journalists, they outed the White House for wanting to keep the interview off-the- record, whereupon Obama caved.
  • DEBATE FACT CHECK: Obama was wrong again. The U.S. Military has more bayonets today than in 1916.
  • LOONY LIBERTARIANS: Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson says, “Waste your vote on me.”
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1929, Albert B. Fall, who served as Secretary of the Interior in President Warren G. Harding’s cabinet, was found guilty of accepting a bribe while in office during the Teapot Dome scandal, and these days everybody’s still wondering why Obama’s Energy Secretary Stephen Chu was never indicted in Obama’s Solyndra Scandal.
  • THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Obama’s “The true engine of economic growth will always be companies like Solyndra.”
  • FROM THE SCIENCE GUY: The Densest Element yet know to science has been discovered. “Obamacronium” is an incredible new discovery that scientists believe is the Darkest Matter known to mankind.
  • OHIO UNEMPLOYMENT: Ohio’s real unemployment rate is 9.3%, not 7% (like a lot of main stream media are reporting), see this new report from free market think tank, Opportunity Ohio.

LaRosa’s Pizzeria announced on Wednesday that it will be expanding into the Columbus area. Perhaps “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s son-in-law can get her a job up there. If she does well there, maybe she can help LaRosa’s open up franchises in Istanbul!

  • OBAMA’S JOBS PROGRAM: Obama’s “New” 18-page Jobs Booklet only features nine giant photos of Barack Obama.
  • PORTFOLIO ALERT: Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says, “Look for a really big dip in stocks if Obama is re-elected.”
  • JUST LIKE A REAL CAMPAIGN: “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup actually has a TV commercial. No kidding!
  • IN ANDERSON: Anderson resident Jasen Snelling was sentenced to 131 months in prison for running an $8.9 million Ponzi scheme. Does this mean Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien will be running for reelection unopposed?
  • THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Community Leaders United in Opposition to Issue 4 held a press conference on Wednesday to present a case against that self-serving Cincinnati Charter Proposal being pushed by Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin and Clown-cil Members, each looking for a $240,000 payoff for bickering with each other for four years instead of two, and maybe get a reset on their Term Limits.

Some of those opposed include: Charlie Luken, former Cincinnati Mayor and Member of Congress; Charlie Winburn, Member of City Council; John Cranley, former City Council Member; Chris Bortz, former City Council Member; Amy Murray, former City Council Member; Pete Witte, Price Hill neighborhood leader; Kevin Flynn, President, Cincinnati Charter Committee; Dock Foster, President, Baptist Ministers Conference; Matt Davis, Vice President, Greater Cincinnati Regional Chamber of Commerce; Wayne Lippert, former City Council Member; and Jeff Berding, former City Council Member

  • EVADING ELMWOOD: Commenting on Curious Cathy’s costly trip through Elmwood Place, Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says, “Why wasn’t Curious Cathy “careful,” too? She should have had a video going on the dashboard so she could PROVE her speed was below the posted limit.”
  • SIZE MATTERS: When Mitt Romney shows up at Jet Machine in Roselawn this morning, will the crowd be larger than the ones that recently showed up in Colorado and Nevada?
  • COURTESY DOESN’T MATTER: When Senate Candidates Sherrod Brown and Josh Mandel face off in tonight’s statewide televised debate in Cincinnati, will the combatants be yelling “Liar” at each other like they’ve done in their previous debates? 
  • SIGN CENSORSHIP: So how much business is the Lamar Outdoor Advertising losing because that Obama-loving billboard company refused run Patriots Action LLC’s digital signs in Greater Cincinnati?

  • NOKY POLITICS: Yesterday, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo had to go to Sears. As he approached the entrance, he noticed a driver looking for a parking space. He flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available. The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window, and said, “I’m not handicapped!”

Well, as you can imagine, The CamBoozler’s face was really red! “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. “I saw your Obama bumper sticker and just assumed that you suffer from a mental disorder of some sort.” She then gave him the finger and screamed some nasty names at him. Boy! Some people don’t appreciate it when you’re just trying to help them out! Now just think how upset that woman’s going to be when Obama leaves office on January 20, 2013.

  • FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all those negative ads Obama ran trying to tear down Mitt Romney during the 2012 campaign. “Obama should’ve run more,” Kane explained, “since Evolving Strategies, a public opinion research firm, has found GOP enthusiasm is 42% higher in 2012 than it was in 2008 for John McCain because DemocRAT ads are goosing Republican enthusiasm.”

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our October fund-raising drive from Jet Machine in Roselawn after we told them we just might be able to help them get their name in The Fishwrap this week.

ROMNEY RALLY HOT LINE

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