Friday, October 5, 2012
Let’s See What Paul Ryan Does to Joe Biden
TOP TEN LIST: Today it’s the Top Ten ways you know even Liberal pundits were forced to admit Obama lost Wednesday night’s over-hyped Joint Presidential Candidate Press Conference with a Biased Liberal Moderator Wearing an Obama Button in Denver.
10. PMSNBC’s Chris Matthews’ post debate meltdown
9. James Carville says “Mitt Romney came with a chainsaw”
8. CNN Post Debate Flash Poll said Romney won the debate 67%-25%
7. Michael Moore tweeted “This is what happens when you pick John Kerry as your debate coach”
6. Obama $1 Million Donor Bill Maher said “Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
5. Al Gore is blaming the altitude in Denver because Obama hadn’t been that high since college
4. Obama and Michelle looked shell shocked after the debate
3. The DNC Post-Debate Ad said “Romney was a Big Meanie”
2. The last time a white man beat a black man like that, it started our Civil War
…And the Number One way you know even Liberal pundits were forced to admit Obama lost Wednesday night’s over-hyped Joint Presidential Candidate Press Conference with a Biased Liberal Moderator Wearing an Obama Button in Denver is… During the Post-Debate Spin Session, the Obama Surrogate referred To “PRESIDENT Romney.”
EXPLAINING ROMNEY’S WIN: George Patton said it best: “Romney, you magnificent bastard! I knew you could do it!” Chris Christie had predicted “The debate would turn this race upside down!” And in “Has the RINO saved the Republic,” Nathan Bedford wrote: “An empty suit is like a soufflé, when the air goes out the whole thing collapses. Obama is the classic empty suit who has been propelled since infancy through the best schools (from the most exclusive prep school in Hawaii to Occidental, Columbia, and Harvard Law), bestowed with great honors (president of the Law Review, Nobel Peace Prize) and into posts (instructor at University of Chicago Law School, Illinois State Senator, United States Senator, President of the United States of America) for which he was qualified only by virtue of his race and his radical ideology. The whole contrivance imploded last night as the air went out of Obama’s campaign in one great rancid and embarrassingly public fart.”
Media outlets and personalities across the political spectrum agreed that Mitt Romney won the first presidential debate of the general election. “That wasn’t a debate so much as Mitt Romney just took Obama for a cross country drive strapped to the roof of his car,” the Weekly Standard’s Mark Hemingway tweeted.
NOW WE HAVE THE TOP FIVE LIBERAL EXCUSES FOR OBAMA’S LOSING
5. We won’t know for two or three days whether Mitt Romney actually won.
4. Romney lied with a straight face for ninety minutes.
3. The free-flowing format was bad and let Romney dominate.
2 The moderator, Jim Lehrer, let Romney win.
1. Obama didn’t show up tonight.
- OBSESSIVE OBAMA SUPPORTERS TOM AND ROSE were really a pair of Depressed DemocRATS after watching Obama’s Downfall in Denver. The pre-debate spam-gram e-mail supposedly from Barack arrived at 6:50 PM asked for a $5 donation, but the post-debate groveling for funds was so dejected, they forget to ask for a specific contribution.
LOCAL REPUBLICANS COULDN’T STOP CONGRATULATING THEMSELVES FOR ROMNEY’S BIG WIN: At 10:40 PM, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP said “Mitt Romney’s performance in tonight’s debate reaffirmed that he is the right man to lead America.” At 10:42 PM, Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett said, “Mitt Romney hit a home run tonight by painting a clear picture of what voters can expect from his policies.”At the At 10:43 PM, Ohio Liberty Coalition President Tom Zawistowski released a statement applauding Romney for “educating” Obama on how the US Economy works. At 10:44 PM, Anderson Republican Club Party Boss Josh Gerth said, “As I type this, I’m watching Mitt DESTROY Obama in the debate tonight. He is spot on with clear vision and answers about our country and I’m encouraged now more than ever. And at 1:28 AM Kasich/Taylor said, “Romney was presidential, he was compassionate and he stood in stark contrast to the President, who didn’t really try to defend his record and instead only lobbed criticism.” Then the Kasich/Taylor campaign asked for a donation. Friday morning, the Anderson Tea Party said, “Are you ready? OK, Let’s roll!”- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose John F. Kennedy’s: “Victory has 1,000 fathers. Defeat is an orphan.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1947 the first presidential address was televised from the White House, and unlike Obama’s Debacle in Denver, Harry Truman’s speech was a big plus for the president.
NORTHERN KENTUCKY DEBATE REACTION: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo reports the KY Compost says more than 100 dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, students and faculty at Northern Kentucky University gathered to watch the first presidential debate of 2012 in a unique and high-tech way. They crowded into every available seat and even sat on stairways inside the Digitorium at Griffin Hall to watch the debate on a giant TV screen and use their smartphones and computers to tweet comments and answer questions about the debate. What was their most impressive conclusion? A majority of the crowd liked the red tie Mitt Romney was wearing, over the blue tie Obama wore during the debate.- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if Romney was the “Clear Winner” of Wednesday night’s Presidential Debate in Denver. “Only to somebody who watched it,” Kane explained.
Stories We’re Working On
Only “31” more days until Election Day- Weekly Jobs Claims rise again
- ABC’s George Stephanopoulos says “I didn’t see any knockout punches.”
- What happened to the lie detector tests at the debate?
- Paul Ryan asks if he can borrow Portman for his October 11 debate prep
- Loony Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson at UC today
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Rob Portman was so effective playing the part of Obama during Mitt Romney’s Debate Preparations:
(A) Watching tapes of Obama’s previous debates: 2%
(B) Studying Obama’s speeches: 1%
(C) Practicing in front of a mirror: 1%
(D) Hawaiian Magic Tanning Cream: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Elections Dejections
This week, everybody who’s really tired of watching all those campaign commercials on TV, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is noted political pundit J. L. Jaundice, who says he thought if you voted early, you wouldn’t have to watch all those crappy political ads anymore.
J. L. wins an Official Whistleblower Election Night Scorecard to tally the DemocRAT Debacle on November 6, 38 absentee ballots for him to fill out so he can participate in Early Voter Fraud, and an “I Told You So” Button to wear on November 7.
It’s less than five more weeks till elections
And no matter what your selections
Because the plain fact is
They’ll still raise your taxes
So the government can increase its collections.
It’s less than five more weeks till elections
(In Japan, they would call that “erections”)
I can’t help being stimulated,
For four years I’ve waited,
To change our political directions.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says if this doesn’t result in the restoration of his poetic license, he might have to file a complaint with the ARPLUBP (Americans for Restoration of Poetic License for Unfortunately Bad Poets) ):
It’s less than five more weeks till elections
And the country has divided its affections
The Romney 47%
Who can’t pay for food or rent
Will vote in predictable directions.
If Obama gets elected again
It will be a terrible sin
That arrogant bastard
Has rhetoric mastered
I’m scared to death he will win.
All I’ve seen for the last several years
Has fed into all of my fears
This guy hates the US
And has created a mess
If he wins, I’ll be forever in tears.
Obama is an arrogant jerk
Who has never done any real work
His strength is his style
Shirtsleeves and phony smile
Big ears and self-absorbed smirk.
If what I learned in school is true
When Obama’s life is all thru
Though he thinks he’s swell
He’s going to Hell
And he’ll probably fool the devil too.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Watching the Reds’ Playoffs this year”
POST DEBATE ANALYSIS HOT LINE
E-mail your informative insights today.
Some post-debate gloating items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally post-debate gloating subscribers.
Link of the Day
The Smirk: RNC plays up Obama’s body language
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
