Thursday, October 4, 2012
No Post-Debate Spin Until Tomorrow’s E-dition
- OBAMA-ROMNEY DEBATE REHEARSAL: Since The Blower is always available the day before our publication date (e.g. Thursday’s E-dition comes out on Wednesday), we can’t report this morning exactly what happened at Wednesday night’s over-hyped Joint Presidential Candidate Press Conference with a Biased Liberal Moderator Wearing an Obama Button in Denver. We can, however, provide an exclusive look at what happened when Obama and Romney got together Wednesday afternoon to plan what they were going to say “spontaneously” on Wednesday night.
- DEBATE SHOW PREP: Next we can show you some of the “Best Moments From Previous Presidential Debates.” We also have “What Obama and Romney Can Learn From Past Presidential Debates.” Would you like to see “10 Memorable Moments in Past Presidential Debates on TV?” Or how about some “Memorable Quotes from U.S. Presidential Debates” and a Trivia Test, so you can “Test Your Knowledge of Past Presidential Debates.”
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose Ronald Reagan’s “Ask yourself, ‘Are you better off now than you were four years ago?” from the Gipper’s debate President Jimmy Carter in 1980.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER remembered “Johnny Carson’s Lie Detector Sketch.”
- THE SPIN STARTS HERE: Want an honest assessment after the debate? Tea Party Patriots in Clermont County say make sure you don’t watch ABC-TV, where DemocRAT Cheerleader George Stephanopoulos will be telling all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed and still undecided viewers how wonderful Obama was.
- DEBATES NOT REALLY IMPORTANT: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says with only “32” more days until the 2012 Presidential Election, voters are attaching less significance to the outcome of Wednesday’s first presidential debate compared to the kick-off debate four years ago. This year, only 17% say debates are “very important” on influencing their vote.
UNLIKELY VOTER UPDATE: Florence Fishwrapper Scott Wartman reports many voters in Northern Kentucky want substance from the presidential debates because neither candidate has given enough specifics about what they would do in the White House for the next four years. If that kind of online reporting isn’t worth paying extra for, we don’t know what is.- MORE DEMOCRAT LIES AND DISTORTIONS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says “Catholics for Obama” is push-polling Ohio voters to support Obama’s re-election bid by asking: “How can you support a ‘Mormon’ who does not believe in Jesus Christ?” But isn’t the Mormon Church called the “Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?” Boy, Obama must think all those Catholics are really stupid.
- ETHICAL LAPSES: Dead Duck Congresswoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt is still getting hassled over her Congressional Ethics Problems. At least that gives her news flack Barrett Brunsman something to do while he’s sending out his resumes.
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES announced they’ll be rolling out their endorsements this week. For now, they left us with a special video tribute to their Messiah Barack Obama.
- VAGINA VOTERS: The Obama campaign is asking women to vote with their “Lady Parts.” Can Liberals get any cruder? That really gives new meaning to “Stuffing the Ballot Box.” But how exactly would that work? Horny in Hebron says he once saw a stripper in Newport pick up a bottle with it. Then there’s this Obama supporter who says: “Dick Will Make You Slap Some Body.”
- NORTHERN KENTUCKY LEGAL BRIEFS: Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff wants to know what happened to the “she’s innocent” defense because now that the judge ruled the former Bun-gals’ “steamy” text messages are admissible as evidence, Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters seems to have changed his tune. Deters says in Kentucky it is legal for a 17-year-old to marry a 24-, 25- or 26-year-old, if they get their parents’ consent. He says it’s “unbelievable” that Kentucky makes it a crime for a 17-year-old to have a consensual relationship with a 20-year-old, even with a parent’s consent. So let’s get this straight, before “she’s innocent” but now, the law is “unbelievable” hmm…. sounds like there just might be some sexts in those texts.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1957 “Leave it to Beaver” was first seen on television, but our good friend Bobby Leach says he didn’t see his first beaver until his third grade teacher forgot to wear her panties, where he spent three of his best formative years.
Crime and Shame in the Cincinnati Fire Department
It’s been awhile since we’ve written about the capers of the Cincinnati Fire Department. We thought with a little helpful free publicity from The Blower, the scams and crime would stop, but evidently some are still going on.
You may remember our writing about one particular firefighter, Edwinna Lyttle, aka “Do-little.” A couple of years back, the infamous Edwinna sneaked into the Hamilton County Fair, arriving in a fire truck in full fire uniform in order to get herself into a fair rock concert for free. Her partner in this caper was Lt. James Wright, blood relative of the former Cheating Chief Robert Wright.
Edwinna has been on “limited duty” for 4.5 of the last five years. Within the last 1.5 years, she has called in sick from duty twenty-two times. While getting full pay, on ten of those sick days, she worked another unrelated job, also getting paid. On three separate occasions, she was paid by the city for time she spent working at her private aerobics job. It was found multiple times that she was working another job when she did not bother to call in sick to her fire job. Her teaching of aerobics took place while she was on “limited duty.” In her hearing, she admitted all this and the hearing officer recommended she be dismissed.
Rumor has it that the current Cincinnati fire chief, old guy Richard Braun, under pressure from Kentucky boy city mangler Dough Boy Honey, is going to lessen the charges against Edwinna Lyttle and just suspend her with pay instead of dismissing her for her multiple theft crimes.
And here we thought maybe the Fire Department was cleaning up its act. But it isn’t.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what most Cincinnati viewers would be watching on TV Wednesday night, that Joint Presidential Candidate Press Conference with a Biased Liberal Moderator Wearing an Obama Button in Denver or the Cincinnati Reds final game in St. Louis, where Homer Bailey would be trying to equal the Reds’ Johnny Vander Meer’s historic June 1938 record of pitching two consecutive no-hit games, along with the 2012 Reds’ bid for the best record in baseball and home-field advantage in the World Series.
“Go Reds,” Kane said.
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Obama – Romney Debate – Capital Steps
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