Monthly Archives: October 2012

Special “Obama Cancels Cincinnati Visit” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween, Everybody

  • Obama’s Dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span voters are really upset this morning. All of them were waiting for Obama’s scheduled Halloween Day grass roots campaign visit at the Duke Energy Center in Cincinnati with just “five” more days before he loses the 2012 President Election. We sure hope Duke Energy Center got its rent money up front. MILF-ord Over-taxed Payers still haven’t seen a nickel for Obama VP Buffoon Joe Biden’s Mediscare Stump Speech at the MILF-ord High School cafeteria in September.
  • This morning, Edward Cropper shows us how Obama is temporarily suspending his campaign to try to  look “presidential” reporting on Super Storm Sandy on the Weather Channel. 

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose this line from Obama’s acceptance speech in 2008: “I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children … this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.”

On Monday as the hurricane hit, Obama was also running through his musical tastes during interviews on black radio stations like WIZF, and acting offended whenever somebody accused him of lying about his Benghazi-Gate cover-up.

And did Obama really fire Rear Admiral Charles M. Gaouette for advocating a Libyan rescue? All least when Hurricane Sandy kept the Washington metro area indoors on Monday, the sentinels at Arlington National Cemetery’s Tomb of the Unknowns maintained their vigil.

  • MOTHER NATURE VOTING EARLY: While Superstorm Sandy was pummeling the East Coast Monday night, Obama and Michelle were busy soliciting campaign contributions. A billion dollars for negative ads against Mitt Romney hasn’t been enough. Obama’s illegal overseas campaign donations continued to pour in, even some from “Osama bin Laden.” No kidding! And Monday night, the Obama campaign was sending email requests into Annapolis, Maryland, for help with phone-banking. The time? 5:30 pm, right when Sandy was supposed to be at its worst there. Here’s more good news: That Tsunami Warning in Hawaii was downgraded to an advisory, so there’s no danger to that $40 million mansion where Obama and Michelle plan to move after Obama is evicted from the White House on January 20, 2013.

At the same time, Mitt and Ann Romney were sending prayers, setting a good example by using his campaign bus to aid storm victims, encouraging people to reach out to their neighbors who may need help getting ready for the storm–especially their elderly neighbors and consider supporting the Red Cross. Maybe that’s why Romney seems to have all the Mitt-Mentum these days.

Meanwhile, we have a message from The Greatest Generation after Liberal Whacko Michael Moore produced this Anti-Romney video for George Soros at MoveOn.org, featuring an elderly woman threatening to “Burn This Motherfucker Down” if Obama loses.

And for Bi-Partisanship fans, the Romney Campaign offers “Find a Way.”

  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this day in 1517, the priest and scholar Martin Luther approached the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany, and nailed a piece of paper to it containing the 95 revolutionary opinions that would begin the Protestant Reformation. Today he would probably just send an e-mail.
  • MEANWHILE IN CINCINNATI: Our Dishonest Downtown Dem asks if you need a ride to the polls. “We will pick you up, feed you some Obama cookies, give you a DemocRAT sample ballot and park in the fire lane at the Board of Elections, so you don’t have to walk too far. Then we’ll even give you a ride back to the plantation when you’re done.” “TaxKiller Tom Brinkman says, “Are you sure these aren’t We-Be Hughes High School students?”

  • CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: As Hurricane Mitt looks to wash out many formerly “blue” areas with a nice red tide, Hamilton County must be on some pretty high ground, because the Crimson Tide won’t ever reach us. Our Suburban Sorehead says that while Alex T is all a-Twitter on Facebook about the Romney and Mandel campaigns, now that the Reds’ season is over and the Bun-gals is virtually over, and while his aspiration to some statewide stature takes his focus, such as it was, elsewhere, who is minding the store in Hamilton County? Is it the condescending, silver-spooned, shoe-shopping finance director who steadfastly refuses to cross I-75 unless it takes her to Greed Township? Is it the former New York City DemocRAT operative whose idea of work consists of standing around and talking to people at political events? Ashtray has mastered his condescending co-workers’ attitude quickly. There are over a dozen countywide races, counting the judgeships in the Courthouse, which is what the real priority has always been, protecting the jobs of the patronage hires whose do-nothing mentality at work carries over into their alleged political work. Yes, these geniuses actually expect people who work in the private sector to drop everything at a moment’s notice to campaign for a politician with family connections whose sole mission in office is to hire other people with family connections. So, how are those all-important countywide offices shaping up anyway:

Dave the DemocRAT says “Jaywalking Joe” and BigMama Tracy Winkler look safe. Your taxes will keep on paying the salaries of most of their relatives. You can stick a fork in Deputy Dog Donovan—he’s done. Imagine if DemocRATS ever got the keys to the county jail, though with all the over-spending and cronyism going on over there, no one will know the difference. Judges Fischer and DeWhine look like they will be fine too, being lucky enough to draw opposition from perennial DemocRAT morose losers. Ghizzy Lizzy might be able to eke out a judgeship, but Heather Russell will have to stay put on Muni Court, thanks to her lazy-ass bailiff masquerading as a campaign manager, a second-generation Courthouse Crony patronage hack. “Wayne Man” Lippert is a fine feller but his campaign will be too little too late. Alex T’s hand-picked flunky follower, Dr. Pete, looks like a fish out of water now that his opponent has actually started to campaign. But the biggest cock-punch of all would be if the DemocRATS’ picked up the Hamilton County Treasurer’s Office as DemocRAT Jeff Cramerding has waged a spirited campaign complete with mail, signs, media, social media, engaging young voters all across the county, while Sad Dog Rob Goering sits home and counts his money, with the lamest sign effort on the west side since Bun-gal Becky lost the Recorders’ office for the GOP.

  • SLEAZY SURROGATES: Disgraced former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton was suspended from practicing law in Arkansas and paid a $250,000 fine as a result of the Monica Lewinski incident. Slick Willie also paid a $850,000 settlement over the Paula Jones incident. He was also disbarred from practicing law in front of the Supreme Court.
  • NoKY CAMPAIGN HIGHLIGHTS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says who says there’s nothing really going on with the elections in Northern Kentucky in 2012. The one statewide issue on November’s ballot in Kentucky would allow voters to decide whether hunting and fishing will become a constitutionally-protected right. “Count on this measure passing,” the Camboozler predicted, “unless suddenly all those deer and catfish are registered to vote.”

Something else CamBoo predicts is “Crazy Eric” Deters’ frivolous lawsuit against NoKY Fishwrapper Jim Hannah and The Fishwrap will be getting a whole lot more coverage in The Blower than “Crazy Eric’s” historic First Amendment Failure ever got in The Fishwrap.

  • FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane when we would start seeing Superstorm Sandy jokes in The Blower.

“Any day now,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher assured them, “As soon as our old friend Larry the Looter can get to the East Coast from New Orleans.

HALLOWEEN HOTLINE

e-mail your ghoul grams today.

Some scary items today’s Blower were sent in by our equally scary subscribers.

Link of the Day

Obama Sucks Music Video

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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