Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
On the Sunday TV News Shows, I denied America was misled about the Libya attacks. — “Baghdad Bob” Gibbs- Obama’s Spokesman also wasn’t able to answer Chris Wallace’s question about why Obama won’t meet with any foreign leaders at the UN this week because he has to appear with Whoopi Goldberg on “The View.” —News Spoofer Edward Cropper
- Was it OK to mock Obama before my visit to the UN? —Mohamed Morsi, the new Muslim Brotherhood president of Egypt
- Don’t worry. Obama says those attacks against the United States all over the Middle East and Israel’s concern about Iran are just “little bumps in the road.” —Hillary Clinton, Obama’s Secretary of State
- Yom Kippur begins tonight at sundown. It’s the most holy day in the Jewish religion. It’s the time each year Jews ask God to forgive them for all their transgressions during the previous year, especially the ones who voted for Obama in 2008. —Jewish Republicans
- We wouldn’t have to atone ford the big one on Iran, would we? —Benjamin Netanyahu
Now we’re rioting because the US didn’t buy enough apology ads. —Greedy Pakistani TV Ad Salesmen- And the Obama Administration just ordered us to start printing “Muslim Apology Cards.” —Hallmark
- Can you believe that 23% of “likely voters” said they believe those Muslim riots and attacks on our embassies and murdering of our ambassador and Navy Seals was a spontaneous result of that video nobody saw—and another 19% weren’t sure? —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
- Sounds like most of that 47% Romney was talking about—or as the Obama Campaign calls them—“our core.” —Conservative Columnist Ann Coulter
- With only “41” more days until the Presidential Elections, you can see why the American People are easily confused. —Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton
- Did you see how we made “Undecided Voters” look like morons? —Saturday Night Live
- Did anybody watch Sean Hannity’s Sunday night special report about “Obama’s Dirtiest Campaign Ever?” —FOX News
Don’t worry about Obama admitting “mistakes” made in his Romney attack ads while lamenting he hasn’t significantly changed tone in Washington. We edited all that stuff out of Sunday night’s “60 Minutes” interview. —CBS TV- Bet you can guess the reason why we chose the Byer Steel Group location at 200 West North Bend Road for my big Victory Town Hall Meeting in Cincinnati this morning. —Paul Ryan
- I’ll be at Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati for the first day of Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud on October 2. —Michelle Obama
- I hope I do as good a job preparing Mitt Romney for his first presidential debate on October 3 as I did for John McCain in 2008. —Rob “Fighting for Fallacies” Portman
- Today there are only 98 more days until “Taxmageddon.” That’s the date the largest tax hikes in the history of America will take effect on January 1, 2013. —Americans for Tax Reform
Today there are only six more days until we raise your subscription rates and you’ll have to start paying for online stories too. —Feckless Fishwrappers- What Ohioans need to help them make up their mind about which presidential candidate to choose are a few more bogus media polls. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
- Monday’s meeting of our Budget and Finance Committee to piss away more over-taxed payers’ money on our Girly Mayor’s Trolley Folly was the best reason yet to increase our terms to four years so we can become even more irresponsible and unaccountable. —Mark Mallory’s Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil
Just because I want to be Cincinnati’s next mayor, please don’t ask why I called that special meeting with only three days notice. Clown-cil voted to waste another $29 Million on our streetcar funding schemes, 6-3. Smitherman, Winburn, and Sittenfeld voted no on each item. —Foxy Roxy Qualls- After watching Sunday Night’s embarrassing loss, I was wondering if the Reds hold the record for leaving the bases loaded without scoring this year. —Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather
- Here’s our Conservative Voters Guide for November 6. —Anderson Tea Party
- Now try this short quiz to see which 2012 presidential candidate you side with. —isideWith.com
- You should see some of the “Hate Mail” I’ve received since I put up my “I Built This Business Without Government Help” sign on my General Data international headquarters in Eastgate. —Pete Wenzel
- On this date in 1789, the first Congress of the United States approved the Bill of Rights, and sent it to the states for ratification. It’s been all downhill for America since then. Public approval of Congress now sits an all-time low, so that means all of the incumbents will be voted out, right? The Blower says don’t count on it. —Hurley the Historian
- That’s why we chose Ronald Reagan’s “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
You’ll be glad to know Kentucky remains one of the 16 states that doesn’t allow people to vote before Election Day without having to provide a reason, no matter how fictional and crappy it is. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo- You should see all those pictures of Obama supporters in this week’s edition of “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court.” —Your Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
- Are either of my innocent clients included? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
- To make Jews feel welcome in Northern Kentucky this week, is it OK to invite them to lunch at the Wok on Yom Kippur tomorrow? —Rick “The Batboy” Robinson
- Now try to explain why I’m speaking in West Chester on Yom Kippur. —Bluegrass Senator Rand Paul
- Trish the Dish wonders when they celebrate Yom Kippur in Kentucky? —Channel 19 Short Attention Span News at 6:30 PM
- Do you think Trish is a real blonde? — Channel 5’s Sheree Paolello
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of religion to show that making religious jokes is not always acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who does not make Jewish jokes in his political newsletter.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially those people Faux Facebook Friends like Fritz Wenzel report as “part-time Rabbinic scholars.”
YOM KIPPUR HOTLINE
e-mail your awesome atonements today.
Some penitent items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally penitent subscribers.
Link of the Day
Radio Days – Yom Kippur
PLUS
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
