Monthly Archives: September 2012

Special “Dumbed Down Voters” E-dition

Friday, September 28, 2012

How Dumb Are They?

  • TYPICAL OBAMA VOTERS: An Obama spokesperson protesting outside a Romney rally in Cleveland explains that Obama gives all minorities free phones and that is why everybody should vote for Obama.

That stupid woman reminds us of Obama’s Coalition of Morons interviewed by Howard Stern contributors Sal and Richard we showed you in yesterday’s edition. [SEE IT HERE]

Another Obama voter in Cleveland explains that our assassinated Ambassador in Libya “had it coming,” and argues that besides, Romney will raise taxes on the middle class.

And why Obama appeals to all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed readers and viewers out there is there to be clearly seen.

  • BIG SURPRISE: The Obama administration has been lying from the beginning about the September 11 attack on the US Consulate in Benghazi, that killed Ambassador Christopher Stevens and three other Americans was NOT an act of terror, and it was racist to think anything else just because it coincidentally happened on September 11. Do you think Mitt Romney will bring that up in the First Presidential Debate next week, especially after Obama’s Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard said, “We didn’t lie about Libya, we just said things that weren’t true.”
  • NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Mitt Romney’s “Obama is running a campaign based on falsehood and dishonesty.”
  • PRESIDENTIAL PERKS: America’s over-taxed payers spent $1.4 billion dollars on everything from staffing, housing, flying and entertaining President Obama and his family last year, according to the author of a new book on taxpayer-funded presidential perks. In comparison, British taxpayers spent just $57.8 million on their entire royal family, including perky Duchess Kate’s topless photos. No wonder the Obama Family wants four more years.
  • OHIO UPDATE: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Wednesday night, John Kasich found it difficult to explain to Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly why the Ohio Republican Governor was more popular, according to the latest polls. Do you think it’s because Kasich isn’t running for anything this time and Dishonest DemocRATS aren’t spending hundreds of millions of dollars spreading lies and distortions against him?
  • THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says most voters still think the economy will get worse or stay about the same, no matter which candidate wins the White House and which party wins control of Congress in November. 43% expect a better economy if Romney wins, but only 34% would say the same about Obama.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1918, Private Henry Tandey, a British soldier serving near the French village of Marcoing, reportedly encountered a wounded German soldier and declined to shoot him, sparing the life of then-29-year-old Lance Corporal Adolf Hitler. Today, no doubt Obama would celebrate Private Tandey’s compassion, and American Jews would have yet another reason to love Obama even more.
  • YARDSIGN UPDATE: In Anderson Township, did Sean’s Donovan’s campaign really pay $65 for a permit to place that gaudy 4×4 sign in the yard next to The Whistleblower’s Estate so Charles Foster Kane could see it every minute he was in his office working on The Blower?
  • SPOILED SPORTS OF ALL SORTS: Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall knows why the NFL gave its referees such a big raise just to come back. Sports bettors were complaining about all the money they lost because of one controversial call at the end of Monday night’s game.
  • RIGHT WING UPDATE: Wednesday, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul met with Tea Party Patriots in downtown Cincinnati to explain his differences with the candidates on some issues. “I am supporting Romney,” Paul said. “I hope Romney wins. I think he is going to be a lot better than Obama. But, Romney wins, it’s still not over.” [See Ted Stevenot’s Cincinnati Tea Party Report and Pictures Here.]

Also, Beloved Former Congressman Bob McEwen emceed an endorsement event for Controversial Conservative Senate Candidate Todd Akin in Saint Louis on Thursday. You can’t get much righter than that.

  • YOUNG REPUBLICANS: The Indiana YRs and Kentucky YRs are partnering with the Ohio YRs to undertake a massive October deployment in the State of Ohio since Indiana and Kentucky are considered to be safely “red.” Hamilton County is one of three deployment points chosen in Ohio, due to the importance of Southwest Ohio, the close nature of the election here, and the fact that Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP is doing such a wonderful job.
  • LAWBREAKERS FOR OBAMA: John Gilligan’s Ditzy Daughter Kathleen Sebelius will travel to New Hampshire this weekend for a swing of “grassroots events” with Obama, after Obama’s Health and Human Services Secretary was not being punished for violating that federal law against engaging in political activity while on the job recently.
  • LOONY LIBERTARIANS: First District Congressional Candidate Jim Berns is doing his best to inform people that Libertarian Presidential Candidate will be at UC at noon next Friday, October 5. After next week’s price hike, it’ll cost you more to see where The Fishwrap puts that story.
  • NOT READY FOR THE COMEDY CLUB: Did Steve Chabothead really try to really tell a joke when he was supposed to be warming up the crowd for Paul Ryan’s speech at the Byer Steel Plant in Carthage on Tuesday morning? Steve pointed out Biden’s golf handicap was 20. Then he said Obama’s handicap was, “Joe Biden.” For Steve, that was almost funny.
  • LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHERS liked Jay Leno’s “Obama is so confident that he’s thinking about letting Joe Biden start speaking again.”

Countdown Calendars

  • ELECTION DAY is coming only “38” more days.
  • TAXMAGEDDON will be here in only 95 days (That’s when the largest tax hikes in the history of America will take effect on January 1, 2013.)
  • FISHWRAP PRICE HIKE: On October 1, Feckless Fishwrappers will be raising your subscription rates and you’ll have to start paying for online stories too.
  • EARLY VOTING IN HAMILTON COUNTY: begins Tuesday, October 2. (Request an absentee ballot here) For your Second Congressional District Conservative Voter Guide: [CLICK HERE]

For DemocRATS, Michelle Obama will be at Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati for the first day of Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud on October 2. Is The Blower fair and balanced, or what?

  • PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES: GOP Senator Rob “Fighting for Fallacies” Portman says he still has some prepping to do before Mitt Romney shows up at the First Presidential Debate in Denver on October 3.
  • EARLY VOTING IN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo still doesn’t have the slightest clue when that begins.
  • FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all those stupid Obama voters you’ve been seeing lately, like the woman in Cleveland who’s voting for Obama because he gave her a free phone, and those morons you saw on that Howard Stern video. Those people believed Obama will find and kill Osama bin Laden, Romney’s a Muslim and Obama’s a Mormon. They also believed Obama made the right choice by picking Paul Ryan as his running mate because he is black. One interviewee was even under the impression that 2008 Republican nominee John McCain is also running this time.

 “Those were the intellectual Obama supporters,” Kane explained.

Stories We’re Working On

  • Hillary meets world leaders while Obama campaigns
  • Bibi draws a line for Iran at UN
  • Obama then says, “I’ll call Bibi tomorrow.”
  • Muslims still protesting Mohammed film outside US embassies
  • FBI still hasn’t arrived in Benghazi to begin investigation of consulate attack
  • Fewer Americans think we’re winning the War on Terror

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said you should never believe media polls:

(A) Rigged questions: 1%
(B) Paid-off pollsters: 1%
(C) Hand-picked respondents: 1%
(D) Liberal Media Bias: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

Playoff Pressures

This week, everybody who wonders why the Little Red Machine is leading the league for not scoring with the bases loaded, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is long-time Cincinnati Reds fan Farley Fairweather, who remembers when baseball players cared about the game, instead of just their fat paychecks. Farley wins a pennant from 1919, when the Reds won their first World Series, but only because the Chicago Black Sox threw the games; 477 marked-down sweatshirts from the Reds Over-priced Apparel and Merchandise Store, and his name entered in the lottery of people who may be picked to receive a refund for their Reds Playoff and World Series tickets. His winning limerick is:

When the Reds clinched the pennant this year
We all hoped they had gotten it in gear
But pitchers gave games away
And hitters forgot how to play,
It’s going to be another short post-season, I fear.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):

When the Reds clinched the pennant this year
What a shame the Old Left-Hander wasn’t here.
Ol’ Joe and Marty
Made each game a party
Nux is in heaven with God, having a beer.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“It’s less than four more weeks till elections”

STUPID VOTERS HOT LINE

E-mail your worst examples today. 

Some Obama bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama bashing subscribers. 

Link of the Day

Samuel L. Jackson’s Wake The Fuck Up Ad for Obama

     Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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