Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

• Yesterday with his Middle East Foreign Policy in flames, everybody was waiting to hear Obama’s really sincere Jewish New Year greetings wishing his Jewish donors a year of peace and reiterating his administration’s “commitment to the State of Israel” at his downsized campaign speech in Eden Park. —Jews for Obama
• Mitt Romney’s Rosh Hashannah video message to the Jewish People focused on faith and family and incidentally, reminded people he just visited Jerusalem. —Jews for Romney
• Why was anybody surprised how much traffic Obama delayed en route to his just another crappy class warfare teleprompter campaign speech to mostly white union members who got the day off in Eden Park? He’s delayed jobs, Economic Recovery, and balancing the Budget every day he’s been campaigning since his Inauguration. —Unemployed Americans
• Also on Monday afternoon, GOP Rising Star Senator Rubio was energizing support for pro-life leaders, while just blocks away Pro-Abortion President Obama was making yet another appearance in Columbus. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
• Yesterday’s over-taxed payer funded campaign speeches in Ohio were really important to fool all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed and undecided voters one more time. Obama even had to skip his morning intelligence briefing before he hopped on Air Force One. —National Security Advisors
• When do we get all that money Biden organizers promised us for letting Obama’s joke Vice President give his sparsely attended MediScare Stump Speech in our cafeteria on September 9? —MILF-ord School Board
• There are so many bad film critics in the Obama Administration these days, they’re going to need their own Cabinet Department.—Roger Ebert and Leonard Maltin
• Hillary owes us a special apology after one of our protesters died from inhaling fumes of burning American flags at a Mohammed film protest. —Murdering Muslims in Pakistan
• Do you think the White House will try to stop us from releasing our “Killing bin Laden” film? —Sony
• Sunday I told NBC Obama Apologist David Gregory those who believe Iran should have nukes “set a new standard for human stupidity.” —Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu
• Do you think we should invite Bibi to address us to explain the Middle East situation to the American people during the annual UN meetings? —Friends of Israel in Congress
• Don’t worry about how busy the president’s schedule is these days. He’ll still have time to be on David Letterman’s show tonight. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
• Protecting and defending Obama through his failures, blunders, and gaffes is our full-time job. —Obama Supporters in the Press
• There were 735,000 Obama Supporters waiting to see Obama in Eden Park. No kidding! —Sharon Coolidge (D., Fishwrap)
• Not all of our reporters were guilty of sending Obama donation request forms to their Twitter followers. —CNN
• What’s wrong with sending all my personal friends a little helpful Tweet linking to Obama’s donation page? It’s not like it’s a conflict of interest or anything. —Peter Hamby
• How much coverage did Conservatives get in The Fishwrap last weekend when 7,000 patriotic Tea Partiers met in Cincinnati for training and inspiration in the fight to take back America. —Glenn Beck
• 39% of those greedy teachers on strike in Chicago put their own children in private schools. Here it’s only 41%. —Greedy Teachers in Cincinnati
• Some people were sluts even before Obama. —Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin and Denise Driehaus
• Just because Obama’s pro-Palestinian policies have angered Jewish American voters, doesn’t mean a Lutheran like me can’t wish Jewish voters in Ohio a happy Jewish New Year, except for my GOP opponent Josh Mandel, who just happens to be Jewish. —Desperate DemocRAT Sherrod Brown
• Who cares how you spell Rosh Hashanah anyway? —Whistleblower Religious Editor Fielding Mellish
• Yesterday on the Jewish New Year, I was trying HARD to find some Jews in Northern Kentucky to wish a Happy Holiday. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• Maybe all those Jewish guys are checking out this link. —Your Good Friend Bobby Leach
• Maybe the CamBoozler should’ve called me, since my Graydon Head Christmas Parties at the Fort Mitchell County Club are well known for being the only place Jews have ever been made to feel welcome in Northern Kentucky, but only since 2003. —Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson
• On this date in 1793, the US Capitol cornerstone was laid, and members of Congress on both sides of the aisle have been spending over-taxed payers’ money like drunken sailors ever since. —Hurley the Historian
• That’s why we chose Ronald Reagan’s, “We could say they spend like drunken sailors, but that would be unfair to drunken sailors because the sailors are spending their own money.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
• Trish the Dish wonders when they’re going to celebrate Jewish New Year’s in Northern Kentucky? —Channel 19 Short Attention Span News at 6:30 PM
• Maybe when Obama holds a rally big rally in Devou Park? — Channel 5’s Sheree Paolello

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